You've landed your dream job,
but there's just one teeny, tiny little problem: You're so racked with
guilt you can't bring yourself to give two weeks' notice to your current
employer.
Cosette, 23, recently confronted this exact situation. "I told myself I couldn't leave [a] smaller firm because they 'needed me.'" she told Glamour. "If I left, I would be screwing over my entire team, as well as the firm that gave me my first incredible opportunity in the field."
It's
common, in fact, to feel guilt when leaving a job—to worry over the
hole you'll leave behind, or the damage you could inflict on
relationships with co-workers. "I've watched both men and women quit
their jobs during my 10 years as an executive coach and I've found,
inevitably, women feel far guiltier than men," says Karen Elizaga, executive coach and author of Find Your Sweet Spot: A Guide to Personal and Professional Excellence.
"Equally, they have established personal relationships at the office,
but for women, the personal and professional become more intertwined—our
coworkers are our friends, even our family. And the guilt is magnified
because we want to do right by our friends and family."
But you can't let guilt hold you back from pursuing a career goal. Remember, Elizaga says, what you do at work and with your career is business, literally, and not personal. And your business arrangement with your current employer is this: "We, as employees, need to contribute value to the company, and an employer must provide at least satisfactory remuneration and fulfillment," she explains. "If either part of the equation ceased to be true, then it would be reasonable for either the employee or the employer to terminate the relationship." If you've been offered a better opportunity elsewhere—or simply feel you've done all you can in your current position—you're within your rights to leave without hurt feelings or overwhelming guilt, Elizaga says.
You can also keep guilt at bay and find the courage to quit with these three tips:
1. See guilt for what it is: something that will only hold you back. "Understand that guilt is an emotion that is never productive for your progress forward," Elizaga says.
2. Do what you can to make the transition as seamless as possible. Are you feeling guilt because you could leave people you care about in a bind? While you can't anticipate every problem they could face without you, there are things you can do to make your absence easier to bear. "For example, be flexible with the length of your notice period or actively help them find a replacement," suggests Elizaga.
3. Focus on your new job and its benefits. There's a reason you're taking it, after all—and that's because it's a better opportunity, pays more, or lands you in a new, more awesome locale. Force yourself to focus on the excitement you're feeling. "It's not worth dwelling on where you’ve come from," says Elizaga. "If you can focus your energy on what you are gaining, you can leave the guilt behind."
Cosette, 23, recently confronted this exact situation. "I told myself I couldn't leave [a] smaller firm because they 'needed me.'" she told Glamour. "If I left, I would be screwing over my entire team, as well as the firm that gave me my first incredible opportunity in the field."
But you can't let guilt hold you back from pursuing a career goal. Remember, Elizaga says, what you do at work and with your career is business, literally, and not personal. And your business arrangement with your current employer is this: "We, as employees, need to contribute value to the company, and an employer must provide at least satisfactory remuneration and fulfillment," she explains. "If either part of the equation ceased to be true, then it would be reasonable for either the employee or the employer to terminate the relationship." If you've been offered a better opportunity elsewhere—or simply feel you've done all you can in your current position—you're within your rights to leave without hurt feelings or overwhelming guilt, Elizaga says.
You can also keep guilt at bay and find the courage to quit with these three tips:
1. See guilt for what it is: something that will only hold you back. "Understand that guilt is an emotion that is never productive for your progress forward," Elizaga says.
2. Do what you can to make the transition as seamless as possible. Are you feeling guilt because you could leave people you care about in a bind? While you can't anticipate every problem they could face without you, there are things you can do to make your absence easier to bear. "For example, be flexible with the length of your notice period or actively help them find a replacement," suggests Elizaga.
3. Focus on your new job and its benefits. There's a reason you're taking it, after all—and that's because it's a better opportunity, pays more, or lands you in a new, more awesome locale. Force yourself to focus on the excitement you're feeling. "It's not worth dwelling on where you’ve come from," says Elizaga. "If you can focus your energy on what you are gaining, you can leave the guilt behind."
Photos: Stocksy
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