14 Foods That Make You Look Older

Your diet may be aging you beyond your years. Here's how to diminish the damage. 

 

Age-accelerating foods

by Kiera Aaron
There's a reason why your skin feels a little off after a series of holiday parties, BBQs, or mojito-filled beach days: "What you eat affects your skin—for better or worse," says Ariel Ostad, MD, fellow of the American Academy of Dermatology. While a few indulgences won't age you overnight, a continuously poor diet can accelerate the aging process of your skin (and teeth) over time. Here, 14 foods to consume in moderation in order to look as young as you feel.
 

Sweets

Sugar overload may kick-start a process called glycation. The theory: When you eat more sugar than your cells can process, the excess sugar molecules combine with proteins, creating "advanced glycation end products" (appropriately referred to as "AGES"), explains Dr. Ostad. Ultimately, AGES may damage your skin's collagen (the protein that keeps skin firm and youthful).

Unsurprisingly, too much sweet stuff is also bad for your smile. "Sugar sticks to your teeth, encouraging bacteria, decay, and discoloration," says Brian Kantor, a cosmetic dentist who practices in New York City. If you treat yourself to something sweet, swish water around your mouth afterward to remove any buildup. 

Alcohol

A healthy liver means healthy skin. "When your liver is functioning well, toxins that could potentially affect the skin are expelled naturally through your body," says Dr. Ostad. "But if toxins build up in your liver, and aren't broken down properly, your skin can develop a variety of issues, like acne, sallowness, and wrinkles." Drinking can also trigger rosacea outbreaks.

To top it off, alcohol is dehydrating and bad for your sleep, which was associated with accelerated aging in a Case Western Reserve University study. "Inadequate sleep is linked to wrinkles, uneven pigmentation, and reduced skin elasticity," says Dr. Ostad.
 

White wine

White wine falls into its own category because of its surprising dental damage. While a glass of red will give you instant "wine mouth," the acid in white wine damages your enamel and makes your teeth more prone to longer-lasting stains. So if you always end your day with a glass of chardonnay, your teeth may be more vulnerable to those coffee stains the next morning.

Here's what not to do: brush your teeth immediately after drinking (same goes for any acidic drink). Brushing already acidic teeth can further the erosion of your enamel. "You need to give your teeth time to remineralize after being bathed in an acidic beverage," says Maureen McAndrew, clinical professor at the New York University School of Dentistry. "I'd wait an hour after drinking before lifting a toothbrush."
 

Charred meat

That black char on your burger? It may contain pro-inflammatory hydrocarbons, which could present a problem since inflammation breaks down the collagen in your skin, explains Dr. Ostad. You don't necessarily need to banish BBQ from your vocab, but at least make sure you scrape off the black stuff, and clean the grill afterward so you don't contaminate your next meal.

 

Salty foods

You might not cook with salt, but that doesn't guarantee your intake is low. "Many canned foods are preserved with sodium, which can make you retain water and cause a 'puffy' look," says Ranella Hirsch, MD, former president of the American Society of Cosmetic Dermatology & Aesthetic Surgery, and dermatologist practicing in Massachusetts. Watch out for these 13 foods that are saltier than you realize, and if you need a quick fix, combat fluid retention with a moisturizer that contains caffeine (it's known for reducing puffiness when applied topically).
 

Processed meats

Think: Deli meat, sausage, and bacon. "Many of these meats have sulfites and other preservatives, which can trigger inflammation in the skin, and accelerate the appearance of aging," says Dr. Ostad. They also tend to be high in salt, which can make you look puffy. (Not to mention, processed red meats have been linked to heart disease.) Try swapping the deli meat on your sandwich for chicken or turkey. If you can't say goodbye for good, use less meat, and load up on veggies.
 

Spicy food

Spicy food aggravates rosacea-prone skin, but it can also do damage during menopause. "It's believed that the blood vessels in the skin are more reactive then," says Dr. Ostad. Since spicy food dilates your blood vessels, menopausal women may find their skin looking blotchy and less youthful during this time. Don't worry about indulging in the occasional spicy curry, but regular flare-ups could lead to spider veins, puffiness, and/or permanent redness, says Dr. Ostad. Order your food mild when possible. 

 

Red meat

"Fatty meat generates free radicals," says Dr. Ostad. Free radicals are in search of missing electrons, they snag electrons from healthy cells, damaging them in the process. This damage ultimately affects your skin's ability to protect itself and generate collagen.

While it's fine to eat a burger here and there, don't make it a daily habit. "You're better off with leaner meats, like a turkey burger or chicken," says Dr. Ostad. And remember to load up on antioxidants, both in your fridge and in your beauty bag: "Antioxidant-rich foods and serums help combat age-promoting free radicals," says Dr. Ostad. Look for serums that have vitamin C (also known as ascorbic acid).
 

Energy drinks

Energy drinks may make you feel like you have the pep of a kid, but they have a not-so-youthful effect on your teeth. In fact, teeth exposed to energy drinks were stripped of more enamel than sports drinks, according to a General Dentistry study. Energy drinks were also found to be more acidic—no coincidence there. (Remember: Acidity makes your teeth more vulnerable to stains.) If you really need your energy drink fix, sip from a straw: "The less contact with your teeth, the better," says Kantor.
 

Lemonade

All citrus wears away your enamel, but lemons may be the worst of the worst: lemon juice created the most dental damage, compared to orange and grapefruit juice, in a General Dentistry study. "Add the sugar in lemonade to the equation, and you have enamel wear from the acid, plus plaque buildup from the sugar, creating stains and decay," says Kantor. As with energy drinks, sip from a straw if you must.
 

Anything caffeinated

"Caffeine is like any other diuretic; it can make you excrete fluid, and deplete your body of moisture," says Dr. Hirsch. And yes, that includes your skin: "Anything dehydrating can dehydrate your skin, making it look dull and aged."

Good news: It's simple to combat the consequences of one too many cups of coffee. "Moisturizer, hands down, is the easiest way to look younger instantly," says Dr. Hirsch. Try one that has hyaluronic acid, a super-moisturizing ingredient that holds 1,000 times its weight in water. 

Trans fats

In case the risk of heart disease isn't enough to make you swear off trans fats for good, they may also be bad for your skin. "Trans fats promote inflammation," says Dr. Ostad. (Inflammation is also bad news for your collagen.) Plus, the unhealthy fats may make you more vulnerable to UV damage, which is the number-one cause of aging, according a preliminary mouse study published in Lipids. Don't be fooled by a label that says "0g trans fat," as it can still contain under 0.5g of the artificial fat. Make sure to avoid products that list a partially hydrogenated oil on the ingredient label, too.
 

Coffee

Caffeine isn't the only reason drinking coffee can age you beyond your years—coffee is hard on your teeth. "Acidic beverages can create microscopic pores on the surface of the enamel, causing erosion overtime," says McAndrew. Not ready to give up your java? (You shouldn't: Research shows drinking coffee has several health benefits, including a possible link between coffee/caffeine and a reduced risk of skin cancer.) Just follow with a glass of water: "Water has a neutral pH, which washes away the acid," says McAndrew. "Sugar-free gum can also reduce discoloration, since it boosts your saliva production, and saliva remineralizes your teeth." (Remineralization helps protect your enamel.)
 

Black tea

Thanks to the high tannin content, tea drinkers don't get off stain-free, either. Good news, though: a new study published in the International Journal of Dental Hygiene found that the casein in milk reduced tea-induced tooth stains. Make tea au lait your go-to, and pass on the lemon: Much like the acid in coffee, citric acid makes your enamel more porous, and thus more susceptible to stains, says McAndrew.

This Is the Best Way to Handle Your Anger

If you're mad as hell and not doing much about it, you're not alone. But stifling your anger (as so many of us do) only makes you more stressed. Learn how to harness that emotion and achieve a happier, calmer state of mind. 

By:  Cara Birnbaum 

 

When you hear the words "anger problem," you don’t think of someone like Bethany. Actually, the 40-year-old sales analyst and mom of one in Brooklyn, N.Y., says she rarely gets full-throttle angry. Instead, she’ll spend weeks stewing over a self-entitled co-worker or her own hatred of the gym. Nobody would know, though; she keeps it all to herself. 

Which is exactly the problem: not feeling anger—which is hardwired into the human brain—but burying that useful emotional response until it turns into a quiet simmering. While some women vent and move on, many of us were taught to not make a scene. We’re overworked, sleep-deprived, always on call and generally cranky about it. And as anyone with a social media account knows, we feel outraged daily—about GMOs, Common Core, the Kardashians, you name it. In fact, “the modern, connected lifestyle has put us in an almost constant state of tension,” says Ryan Martin, PhD, chair of the psychology department at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay and founder of the blog All the Rage.

While you don’t want to explode, holding in the emotion could be just as bad for you. “Rumination is like a ticking time bomb,” says Matthew J. Zawadzki, PhD, assistant professor of psychological sciences at the University of California, Merced. A paper he co-authored a few years ago suggested that simply thinking about whatever pissed you off days, weeks, or even months earlier jacks up your blood pressure and heart rate as much as the original event did.

Whether you stew or rage, your anger is trying to tell you something—about your life, mind, and body. Here’s how to use it as a catalyst for change.

RELATED: 10 Things You Should Never Do When You're Angry

Fear factor

As bad as being peeved feels, it’s actually a protective response to what usually starts out as fear or pain, explains Veronica Rojas, MD, a psychiatrist and co-founder of the Mindfulness Forum of Ridgewood in Ridgewood, N.J. Before you can even make sense of a threat, your amygdala, the almond-shaped emotion center of the brain, triggers a release of adrenaline and other stress hormones. Your energy surges as your breathing quickens and your heart rate and blood pressure rise. “Your face might flush, your thoughts narrow, and it’s very difficult to think about anything else for a few minutes,” says Dr. Rojas.

It takes several seconds for that initial burst of fear or pain to become anger. As you start thinking things through, your analytical prefrontal cortex—the brain’s chief decision maker—contextualizes the threat: Why does she speak to me that way? How am I still working at this crappy job? “That’s why we call anger a secondary emotion,” explains Dr. Rojas. “It never occurs alone.” It’s your brain’s way of jolting you out of a vulnerable place and into self-protection mode.

Most of us stop short of putting on the boxing gloves. The prefrontal cortex nips angry impulses in the bud. But if you constantly tamp down your annoyance, those blood-pumping stress hormones can remain elevated, says Dr. Rojas. This kind of prolonged stress leaves you more prone to a host of illnesses and diseases, found 2012 research from Carnegie Mellon University—partly by interfering with your immune system’s ability to regulate inflammation throughout the body.

Short-term simmering all too often becomes chronic: The higher your stress level, the more an otherwise minor issue (like someone swiping your skinny latte) makes you ready to burst into flames. Snapping—whether it’s at that coffee thief or your vaccine-skipping friends— can worsen matters. “Anger is the most viral emotion,” says Martin. It’s more contagious than joy and sadness, according to a 2013 study that looked at social networks.

Brooding over your feelings may be no better: A study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology showed that rumination contributes to depression and anxiety. When Dr. Rojas sees patients suffering from either of the above, it often turns out to be rooted in years of anger.

The same can be true for high blood pressure, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, and a host of other chronic ailments, all of which can be exacerbated by persistently high levels of stress hormones, says Mary Coussons-Read, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. And, tellingly, married couples who regularly suppress anger have a higher risk of premature death than those who express it, according to University of Michigan research.

Of course, the news isn’t great for folks who repeatedly lash out, either. Recent research in the European Heart Journal showed that the risk of heart attack is nearly five times higher in the two hours after an angry outburst.

RELATED: The Best and Worst Ways to Cope With Stress

How to get mad

So what’s a ticked-off girl to do? Remember that anger is a flashing sign telling you to address something. “Conflict is healthy only if you try to figure out what’s wrong and do something about it,” says Ernest Harburg, PhD, research scientist emeritus in epidemiology and psychology at the University of Michigan. First, though, take a moment to note the reaction: “If anger arises, observe your bodily sensations without trying to push them away,” advises Susan Smalley, PhD, professor emeritus of psychiatry and founder of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. Relax your shoulders and breathe deeply so your stomach slowly rises and falls—all cues to the mind that your body is calming down.

Leave the scene if you can, adds Gail Saltz, MD, a Health contributing editor and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City: “It’s OK to say, ‘I notice myself feeling pretty topped out. I want to be able to discuss this logically, so I’m going to take a walk.’” Even ducking into the ladies’ room gives you a few minutes to reset. For Dr. Rojas, running a stream of water over one wrist does the trick. For Coussons-Read, it’s singing “Viva Las Vegas” in her head.

With calm should come the clarity needed to problem-solve, says Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before. “If you feel angry going to work every day,” she asks, “is it because work seems meaningless? Because you can never get all your tasks done? Or because you have a conflict with a co-worker?” They’re all legit reasons—each with its own path to resolution.

Asking yourself questions like this may loosen anger’s grip, letting you see events in context. “A common setup for anger is not thinking about what the other person is going through,” says Alice Domar, PhD, executive director of the Domar Center for Mind/Body Health in Boston. Then you can get to constructive dialogue, which allows you to avoid the feeling of powerlessness that can cause anxiety and depression. It’s all about taking action—only not in anger this time. 

RELATED: 20 Weird Ways Breathing Right Can Improve Your Life

Pre-anger is a thing. Here's how to diffuse it

The prickly, stressed-out state we’re often in before an angry stimulus hits—what psychologists call “pre-anger”—is important to manage to avoid full-on rage. These little steps will help keep insignificant triggers from getting you worked up.

1. Hide the right 10 Facebook friends
You know—the ones forever posting crappy news you have no power to change. Get them off your feed for a month and see if you miss waking up to the angst. 

2. Don't get hangry
A healthy carb with fiber combined with a little protein—like an apple and a cup of yogurt, or whole-wheat crackers with peanut butter—will help keep blood sugar and mood on an even keel.

3. Declutter your desk
No one is saying you have to go all Marie Kondo, “but many people feel calmer and more in control when their work and living spaces are tidy,” says happiness expert Gretchen Rubin.

4. Do one thing at a time
Studies show that multitasking makes us sloppy and less efficient. And as Ryan Martin, PhD, points out, it pretty much ensures you’ll feel constantly interrupted and snippy about it.

You Can't Change Someone Else. But You Can Do This.

Nancy Colier LCSW, Rev. Inviting a Monkey to Tea

A way to look inward for answers, without turning on yourself.

Posted Mar 23, 2016 

 So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set out to try and fix it. We attempt to change the other person’s behavior or the situation into something we consider right, or at least something that will not bother us.
There is no doubt that people and situations can be the cause of our discontent. If someone swings a baseball bat into my knee, the pain I feel is directly caused by that action. If a friend speaks unkindly to me, I feel hurt, a direct result of his choice of words. We impact one another; there are people and situations—infinite ones it seems—that can cause our suffering. That said, there is nothing wrong with trying to change a situation that we don’t like or that makes us unhappy. Such efforts are wise and adaptive and a way of taking agency in our lives. We need to try to change what’s not working, if we can. But this is not a post about how to more skillfully change those around us so that they can better fit into how we want them to be. This is about what happens when we are not successful at changing those around us, and cannot change the situation that is causing us pain.
I guess you could call it Plan B.
When we cannot change the cause of our suffering, many of us continue to blame the other person or situation. This may provide us with some relief, at least for a while. But what happens when trying to change the other has failed and continuing to blame is not actually making us feel better either?
Where do we go when we have run out of moves?
Freedom from the whole blaming/fixing cycle, ironically, comes from moving our attention away from the other person/problem that is to blame/fix, and turning that attention onto ourselves. When you hear that it’s time to look into yourself, you may assume (as most people do) that someone is telling you to discover how you are also to blame for the suffering you are experiencing.
This assumption would be false.
I am not suggesting that you are to blame for anything, nor am I suggesting that you search yourself for fault. This step in the process—self-investigation, the step that creates real freedom from suffering—has nothing to do with blame.
To turn your attention into yourself is to ask the question: What does this situation or person’s behavior trigger in me? What pain is generated in me when I am confronted with this behavior or reality?
I was in a relationship with a blamer for years. The problems in his life were always someone or something else’s fault and the dialogue never moved much further than that. For years I tried to change him, encouraging him to be curious and use the situations that caused suffering as opportunities to bring some light to what the real suffering was about. Through the process, sadly, I too became entrenched in blame. I blamed his blaming for my own suffering; if only he weren’t a blamer, I wouldn’t be in pain. But in the end, he didn’t change, I didn’t change, and the situation didn’t change.
And then I started thinking that probably I should take my own advice: Take the focus off the other and get curious about my own experience. Not what I was also doing (wrong) to cause the situation, but rather, what experiences, feelings, memories, beliefs, etc., were his blaming behavior really triggering in ?
What was I experiencing that made the blaming so hard to bear?
What I discovered was simple but profound—and profoundly healing. I found the center of my own truth, what I was really in contact with inside myself in relation to the blaming. Interestingly, naming what I was experiencing and what made the blaming so painful for me did not change my partner’s behavior, nor did it make the experience that arose in me disappear. What it did, however, was ease the excruciating suffering that existed for me in the situation. Rather than the blaming setting off a screeching fire alarm inside me—a code-red emergency—I could witness the blaming behavior, know what it put me in touch with, and stay calm and non-reactive. I didn’t need to change the behavior so that I could get away from some unknowable, but unbearable experience inside myself. I could say to myself (with kindness), "Oh right, this blaming triggers this such and such in me, which has a history of its own and is understandable. That’s what’s here now." And then, oddly, the whole thing is kind of done. The experience that was so threatening, and the cause of so much pain, is deactivated. Its wires are cut. The emergency of making the situation or behavior stop eases when the inarguable truth of what is happening inside us is clear. The suffering doesn’t need much more than that.
As we all know, we can’t control anyone else’s behavior, and we can’t make another person want to or be able to change. But we can always make the choice to shift our attention inward, to focus the lens of curiosity onto ourselves. And remember, by investigating our own experience, we are not condoning the behavior that triggers our suffering, nor are we assuming responsibility for having caused it. Getting curious about what is happening inside us in a particular situation, naming it, understanding it, unpacking its history, and bringing compassion to it—this the surest path to freeing oneself from the cycle of blame and the need to change what we don’t like. Ultimately, self-awareness is the most powerful and profound antidote to suffering.

6 Bad Habits That Will Sabotage Your Success

Amy Morin What Mentally Strong People Don't Do

3. Constantly seeking approval.

Posted Mar 03, 2016 

 Your thoughts not only affect your emotional state, but also influence your behavior. When you think positively, you'll likely feel better and perform better. When you think negatively, that despair will be reflected in how you feel and behave.

Source: Viachaslau Kraskouski/Shutterstock

Everyone experiences unhelpful, unrealistic, and exaggeratedly negative thoughts at one time or another. Allowing cynicism to become a habit, however, will limit your potential. No matter how much talent or experience you possess, if you can't gain control of your mind, you'll never achieve great things, because you can't reach the next level unless you believe you're capable of accomplishing more.
That's why sport psychologists work with aspiring Olympians and other elite athletes to help them eradicate the negative self-talk that interferes with their ability to perform. But it's not just athletes who can benefit from changing their mindset: Learning to think productively can help you as well. Learning to recognize the thinking habits that rob you of mental strength is the first step in changing your mindset. Here are six bad mental habits that will sabotage your success.
1. Making excuses.
Blaming other people or external circumstances for your lack of achievement harms your performance. Saying things like, "My boss is holding me down," or "All this paperwork makes it impossible to do my job" will only keep you stuck.

Stop making excuses: Focus on all the things you can do rather than on what you can't. When you pay attention to the positive, you'll put more effort into your performance.

2. Catastrophizing the future.
Negative predictions easily turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. If you step up on a stage to deliver an important speech thinking, "I'm going to mess everything up," you'll be distracted—and that distraction may cause you to forget the words.

Stop catastrophizing: Unless you're creating productive plans to deal with potential worst-case scenarios, don't explore "what if?" questions. Predicting disastrous outcomes will cause a spike in anxiety that could cause you to choke.  

3. Seeking approval.
Your attempts to gain approval from others could backfire. Trying to decipher how an interviewer is perceiving your answers, for example, could cause you to stumble over your words. Worse, thinking about the other person's response could cause you to tune out the conversation altogether.

Stop trying to gain approval: While it may sometimes be important to gauge your audience's reaction—like in the middle of a sales pitch—every second you spend seeking reassurance is a second you aren't focused on the task at hand. Keep the focus on doing your best and recognize that you can't control how other people respond.

4. Believing self-doubt.
Insecurity can kill your dreams. If you walk into an interview thinking, "I'll never get hired," your self-doubt will shine through and you'll be less likely to land the job. Rejection will only fuel your self-doubt and create a negative cycle that's hard to break.

Stop doubting yourself: Create a list of your skills, talents, and achievements. Read the list regularly and when you're plagued by self-doubt, remind yourself of all the reasons you're "good enough."

5. Putting yourself down.
It's impossible to perform well when you're telling yourself "You're stupid" or "You can't ever do anything right." Negative self-talk will discourage you from putting in your best effort and it will drag you down fast.

Stop the put-downs: Talk to yourself like a trusted friend. If you wouldn't use such harsh words with someone else, don't allow your inner critic to say them to you.

6. Second-guessing yourself.
While reflecting on past choices can be healthy, second-guessing each choice you've made make will impair your performance. Questioning whether you said the right thing, or second-guessing your choice in attire for a cocktail party, wastes a lot brain power.

Stop second-guessing yourself: Practice mindfulness so you can learn how to be fully present in the here-and-now.

你一定會認同！關於愛情的30句註解

文字：tianesu  VOGUE.TW |  來源：布克文化《幸福的起點：一個人，我不寂寞》 |  其他：作者/劉凱西 |  更新：11/16/2015  4 MONTHS AGO

 「關於愛情，我們總討論著，並且永遠不會停止。」劉凱西的新書《幸福的起點：一個人，我不寂寞》寫出他對愛情的觀察，每一篇短文的小序都能成為愛情 金句。資深電影製片人葉如芬認為，「兩性相處，男與女，這個世界上總有無數的愛情激情感情產生，凱西從生活中從朋友間，醞釀了許多兩性都會故事。看著看 著，偶爾似曾相識，從字裡行間還是可以找到她對人世間的兩性觀察，似乎也是她對於愛情現象的某種註解吧。」
以下30句關於愛情的註解，在《幸福的起點：一個人，我不寂寞》中，都有更深入的故事短篇。

1.單身，不要怕。因為你的單身，其實只是尋找幸福的過程。
2.最好的時候，遇見的你。但每當有人這樣說時，我總想問：「那當我不好的時候，你是否還會與我在一起？」
3.忘了是哪個作家說過，「再聰明的女人，遇上了愛情，都是傻的。」
4.你說你喜歡曖昧的感覺，那是因為你還年輕。「曖昧」，是年輕人才玩得起的遊戲。
5.幻想中的戀愛很美，甚至，比現實裡的愛情還美。只是把幻想當真的人啊，享受到的是自己，麻煩到的是別人。
6.很多女人工作累的時候老愛說：「真想找個男人養我算了！」越是愛這樣說的女人，越不能把她們這些話當真。
7.男人的ＭＡＮ度，跟個頭與肌肉大小無關；對事情扛得起、放得下，不逃避、不畏縮，這樣的男子，才配稱為「真男人」！
8.相愛的時候，送的禮就算是百元商店裡的商品，也貴重若金；不愛的時候，你送我的金銀珠寶，比垃圾還不值。愛情走了，留下了一堆貴重的愛情垃圾……
9.愛情還沒有彼此承諾之前，是不該把太多的自己，押在對方身上。但你說，放在對方生命裡的東西，該有多少？或許不必太多，一只行李箱的大小剛剛好。
10.假使愛情會死，也不要害怕，因為死過之後，就是重生了！

11.完美，其實讓人恐懼。因為完美是非人的。愛情容不下完美。愛情是缺陷的包容。
12.相信理智的人，其實比相信情感的人更加脆弱。他們比誰都需要溫柔的情感來融化。
13.大女人，的確強勢、獨立、自主，溫柔的部分，沒遇到好的人，她們不隨意奉上。她們不是酸甜好入口的調酒，是醇濃誠實的高檔威士忌。遇到懂得欣賞的行家，她們才能發光！
14.愛情，本來就是自私的？是啊，那又何必如此無私的成為他愛情拼圖裡隱藏版的第三者呢？
15.問你自己，既然他這麼愛你，那他怎麼捨得什麼都不給你？一切都能假裝不存在，就是標準的「跟鬼談戀愛」。只是誰是那個鬼？鬼故事都得看到最後，才會揭曉謎底……
16.愛情，必須放在現實的生活中檢視，通過之後才能成立。脫離尋常生活軌道的他，遠離了無趣的日復一日，或許是個完美的男人，說不定回到了真實生活，所有缺陷一一顯現……
17.所有讓你心碎的愛情，都是讓你脫胎換骨的契機
18.只有分手受的傷，才能讓你重新領悟什麼是愛情，而真正的分手，是要心甘情願的告別過去。
19.世界上最遙遠的距離，是你與我明明如此契合，卻無法在一起。相愛，並不代表能相處。那段「摯愛」給你美好的回憶，而這位「最愛」，則給了你穩定的一生。
20.人會說「偷情」，不會講「偷愛」。為偷情而流的眼淚，都是白流，只有當你痛下決心斬斷一切時的那行淚例外，至少，那還能灌溉你仍有希望的將來。

21.所謂的「錯過」，其實沒什麼值得惋惜。看清一切，瀟灑離開，也許是個好方法，因為至少你做出了選擇。
22.戀情才剛起頭，人都沒摸熟，就期待兩人會「王子與公主從此過著幸福快樂的日子」，童話故事也從來不能當真，懷抱希望是沒有什麼不好，但愛情總得腳踏實地，透過相處累積，心存幻想，通常沒啥好下場。
23.明明很愛你，卻依然決定要放棄你？真正能給你幸福的人，是那個願意疼惜你的人，只有在乎你感受的愛，才能稱得上真愛。
24.所謂的「不能自己」，其實就是無法控制自己。假使一個人劈腿的理由，是他的感情真的不能自己，那他生命裡究竟那一塊可以自己處理？
25.愛情不是馴養與服從，也不是讓你濫用另一半的寵溺。當任性壓過了尊重，所有的情意也會漸漸擠壓殆盡。因為，真正的愛，必須被珍惜。
26.不想留下的人，是怎麼追都追不回的。「我只能愛他，我只要他」其實只是不安所產生的偏執，與其花時間去追那些不想回頭的人，不如花力氣去尋找之前那個快樂的自己。
27.有時候，愛會讓人自由，有時候，愛反而是個囚籠。
28.誰說過，兩個人一起養了狗，就表示要跟對方一生一世了？養了狗的情侶要是鬧分手，就跟夫妻鬧離婚的夫妻一樣麻煩。有人會說：「不就只是一隻狗嗎？」不，那不只是一隻狗，而是你們愛過的證明。
29.那些普通人愛玩的浪漫把戲，說不定不適合你。但清粥小菜般的日常，反而能陪你度過每一日。真情，何需誇飾的浪漫？手牽著手，穩穩的走著，這才是宇宙無敵的浪漫。
30.在異鄉遇到的短暫愛戀，俗稱「豔遇」。豔遇之所以迷人，是因為它只存在於那段有限的時間，之所以不想延續，是怕像短片拍太長，原本好好的一部片，反而拖棚了，與其這樣，不如維持在這簡短的精巧上，至少還可以讓人回味。

別再沉迷曖昧，勇敢去愛吧！

文字：tianesu  VOGUE.TW |  來源：布克文化《幸福的起點：一個人，我不寂寞》 |  其他：作者/劉凱西 |  更新：11/27/2015  4 MONTHS AGO

 你說你喜歡曖昧的感覺，那是因為你還年輕。 「曖昧」，是年輕人才玩得起的遊戲。 對於那些有點年紀的人而言，人生路程只剩下了一半， 前面那半，她或許也曾與心愛的人玩著曖昧的遊戲， 但她後來失去了，也後悔了。 她知道，剩下的這一半她得走得腳踏實地， 如果能再出現另一個真愛， 她會緊緊抓住，用僅有的每一刻努力相愛， 再也不願意用曖昧的不勇敢，把自己給蹉跎過去。

曖昧是年輕人的權利。
或許有人天生就喜歡這一味，那種被朦朧給籠罩得模糊不清，擁有又不被占有的游離感，給人權利可以在裡頭盡情嬉戲，又不必有扛責任的壓力。如果玩膩了，可以隨時退場，沒人有權可以拴著那個人，該小心的是不要認真投入，曖昧的時候，認真的就輸了。
年輕人玩的曖昧遊戲，並不意味著他們不愛，也不是害怕愛，反而是害怕失去愛。年輕人對愛情會有憧憬，卻害怕面對愛情，害怕到手的愛情，反而沒有他們所想像的甜美。曖昧裡的模糊不清，給想愛的人一層保護的外衣。
他們想愛，當然想，他們並不想否認對彼此的愛意，但有時愛說開了反而尷尬，不說開但你知我知，就算沒有得到，也總不會失去。把愛說開了，愛了就愛 了，愛到了盡頭，也就愛完了，兩人分道揚鑣，那就是永遠的失去；沒說出，沒愛著，就算對方最後愛了別人，至少還能當個永遠的朋友，永遠在彼此的身邊，也算 是種長相廝守。


曖昧的籌碼，是時間。曖昧了好一陣，最後卻沒成為戀人，頂多就是把時間給蹉跎了，有什麼實際上的損失？嚴格講起來沒有。因此，一些上了年紀的人，反 而玩不起曖昧這種遊戲了，他們的青春漸漸流失，生命逐漸往死亡的終點線逼近。為了節省寶貴的時間，他們寧可有話直說，就如電影《紐約愛情拼圖》裡奧黛莉朵 杜的角色所說的：「我都快四十了！難不成還要像個小女孩一樣裝腔作態、扭扭捏捏嗎？我沒時間了，想要什麼就說什麼！」別怪中年女子直接，這或許讓她們像個 歐巴桑，但這是她們生命裡所面臨的現實。

但偏偏，曖昧卻是最常發生在這年紀的男女身上。人從沒有失去對愛情的渴望，只有失去對愛情的希望。這群中年的男女們，他們不是不想愛，只是，他們已 經脫離了社會所認知的適戀年齡。他們也會小鹿亂撞、也會意亂情迷，但是迫於社會觀感問題，他們想愛卻無法明說，明明兩人就已經面對了面，眼神也確認了彼此 的愛戀，真的愛了也只能偷偷摸摸，不光明又不正大。這樣久了，也成了另一種混沌不清的曖昧，意志不堅的人，愛情就在眾人的觀感之中，逐漸淡化流失。

這樣的曖昧，不可能美好，如果最後還能有什麼，能像年輕時曖昧後，有股清淡的感覺擱在了心上，那會是悔恨，悔恨自己為何不敢突破阻隔你我相愛的那一 切，那些東西當時被中年的自尊給無限放大了，但事實上是這麼無足輕重！但失去的，也追不回了。中年人的曖昧，不像年輕人的曖昧是自己選的，他們多是迫於無 奈。年紀大了，當他們反而更能體會兩人十指相扣時的那種安穩，但廝守卻成了更難抵達的境界。


時間讓你懂了愛情，卻讓你更難以取得愛情。或許因為懂了，也知道真正的愛情，未必一定得緊抓著一生一世，有時候將最愛，放手──那個你曾經用曖昧來 避免失去，因為你從未獲得的人──僅僅將他放在回憶的某一個角落，然後你說你不渴望愛情，因為你已經看透了愛情，但那是你自己還在跟自己曖昧著，因為事實 上你已經很清楚，如果再來一次，你會要自己鼓起勇氣，去跟那個曖昧的人勇敢愛一次，就算會失去，你也不後悔，因為至少你有一個機會，而不是眼睜睜的看著他 離開，怨自己為何連愛他都不敢！

所以，那說宣稱自己喜歡曖昧的人，到底是不是真正喜歡搞曖昧？畢竟，他們最終還是要找個人，牽起對方的手，承諾彼此未來。他們所沉迷的曖昧，只是一個能領著兩人相愛前的短暫階段。如果曖昧的原因只是不勇敢，那沉迷其中的，就只會後悔。不管是什麼年紀，什麼階段。
別再沉迷曖昧，勇敢去愛吧！

科學證明：「一見鍾情」、「心如刀割」都有依據！

文字：Travis Travie  VOGUE.TW |  更新：2/9/2016  1 MONTH AGO

 人們說，愛情像毒藥，一旦愛上了就會無法自拔。究竟中了愛情的毒會如何「發作」呢？看看以下12項關於愛情的科學研究結果。

1. 一見鍾情
一見鍾情不是童話故事的專利，當血液中俗稱愛情因子的「神經成長因子nerve growth factor」含量升高時，就會造成一見鍾情的現象。大約一年之內因為愛情而分泌的化學物質都會回到正常的狀態，以維持生理的正常機能，心理上也會停止感到當初的「一見鍾情」。

2. 瞳孔出賣你的心
瞳孔會直接反應生理狀況。看到喜歡的對象，瞳孔就會不自覺地放大，出賣你企圖遮掩的心意，而這也是為什麼女生喜歡戴放大瞳孔的隱形眼鏡，因為科學上顯示，較大的瞳孔確實較吸引人。

3. 不自覺的傻笑
像個傻子一樣沒來由的笑是戀愛的徵兆，同時也是愛情觸發的生理反應。研究顯示：看到或是想到心愛的人，流經大腦的血液流速會增快，並且帶來愉悅的心情。

4. 愛情成癮
一旦大腦感受到你沉浸在戀愛的氛圍中，就會分泌較多皮質醇、多巴胺、腎上腺素和 抗利尿劑等讓人心情愉悅的物質。「無法克制地時常想起對方」這種沉迷的症狀也是有科學根據的，由於大腦分泌的多巴胺會引起幻覺、放鬆等反應，多巴胺分泌越 多，愉悅、興奮的感受也更強烈，近似於吸毒者所歷經的感受，就是所謂的「被愛沖昏頭」。

5. 親密關係
過了一年的愛情紅利期，維繫一段快樂戀情的主將就不再能只靠大腦分泌的多巴胺了，這時主角換成了「催產素oxytocin」，一種可以經由擁抱或相互依偎而大量釋放的激素。這也科學化地解釋了在親密行為後，女性需要擁抱、男性只想睡覺的狀況。

6. 減輕壓力
皮質醇這種激素會伴隨壓力的升高而分泌，遇到壓力時是為了幫助我們對抗困境，有趣的是愛情也會提升皮質醇的分泌，幫助我們減輕壓力。

7. 天然止痛藥
愛情最重要最神奇的功能之一！根據科學研究，光是看著另一半照片，就可以減輕40%較輕微的疼痛和15%較劇烈的疼痛；緊握愛人的手也能舒緩神經，達到減緩疼痛的效果；大腦分泌的催產素有減輕頭痛的功效。

8. 戀愛副作用
愛情會降低體內約40%的血清素，可能因而產生強迫症的行為。增量的多巴胺也會使人情緒亢奮、容易感到快樂，但過量的多巴胺就有可能出現精神分裂的症狀。

9. 愛情的泥沼
男性會受到女性散發出的費洛蒙吸引的現象，就是用科學的語言在表達「他已經陷入了愛情的泥沼」。

10. 口服避孕藥會改變費洛蒙的分泌，服藥期間吸引到的是與自己有相同費洛蒙的異性，停止服藥以後，費洛蒙逐漸恢復正常，所吸引到的異性可能會因此不同。

11.  愛情使女人堅強
愛情會兩性睪固酮的分泌量有相反的影響，女性睪固酮分泌量增加，因而變得更堅強；男性則相反，會變得更柔和、更女性化。

12. 「心如刀割」不是誇飾
大腦的路徑是雙向的，戀愛時有多快樂，分手時就能有多痛苦。實驗結果顯示：被迫分手或慘遭拒絕，在身上探測到的痛苦指數會相當於一般疼痛的數值，足以造成「心如刀割」的痛。尤其是心肌及周圍血管有發生短暫性致命症狀的現象，又女性案例多於男性。

單身萬歲！給單身女子的30天生活新挑戰

文字：Sandy  VOGUE.TW |  圖片：TPG, _natsuumikun_IG |  更新：12/30/2015  3 MONTHS AGO

 

30

DEC

2015

單身萬歲！給單身女子的30天生活新挑戰

文字：Sandy  VOGUE.TW |  圖片：TPG, _natsuumikun_IG |  更新：12/30/2015  3 MONTHS AGO

單身萬歲！給單身女子的30天生活新挑戰

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對於單身的人，單身生活要過得開心且充滿自信，豐富生活才能活得更精彩，偶爾把自己推出舒適圈也能有新鮮的體驗！

 

經過30天的挑戰後，或許我們因為自信而更愛自己，也更有機會明白真命天子的輪廓，但最最重要的是，挑戰結束後你會發現更多更有價值的人生觀，也會更享受單身生活！

 

Hey 不要再等了，現在就一起開始30天的挑戰吧！

 

 

Day 1: 追蹤至少一個帥哥／正妹的instagram or Facebook

Day 2: 發揮想像力，寫下你希望未來伴侶有的條件

Day 3: 認真思考並寫下你不希望未來伴侶有的條件

Day 4: 拍下最不要臉卻最有自信魅力的自拍照

Day 5: 去從未去過的地方喝個一杯，期待美好豔遇

Day 6: 毫不掩飾並大方地向吸引你的人拋媚眼

 

Day 7: 下載新的約會APP並試試看與一個投緣的對象聊聊

Day 8: 揪好閨蜜去報名參加聯誼

Day 9: 主動給你在意的某人你的手機號碼或LINE

Day 10: 與單身的朋友們策畫個狂歡夜或是一起做個大餐

Day 11: 策劃夜遊，並請朋友帶你不認識的人來擴大生活圈

Day 12: 再度聯繫那些曾經錯過時機認識的人

Day 13: 找交友APP或網路上認識、從未謀面的人出來碰面

 

Day 14: 下定決心全面封鎖前男友/女友

Day 15: 充滿好奇心的與陌生人聊聊天

Day 16: 與女生閨蜜去KTV歡唱一整夜

Day 17: 24小時不看Facebook 或任何社交軟體

Day 18: 已讀不回或不讀不回那些利益交換、床上關係、曖昧不明的朋友

Day 19: 狠狠的扔掉前男/女友送的某樣東西

Day 20: 保持好一整天的正面思考與正面能量

 

Day 21: 在晚上看你最愛的電影以及吃最愛吃的食物，垃圾食物也沒關係喔

Day 22: 加入一直很有興趣新社團或新課程，像是新語言或是廚藝課和飛輪

Day 23: 買一件讓自己驚豔的小禮服或連身裙，並在這星期穿上它出門

Day 24: 和好姊妹聚餐，事先規定不討論戀情發展或曖昧的話題

Day 25: 獨自出門逛逛，或是帶寵物出門散步，到戶外觀賞沿途風景

Day 26: 事不宜遲，決定在喜歡的那個對象 Facebook 上留下曖昧訊息

Day 27: 在房間某處佈置對過去情人的紀念y

Day 28: 洗個泡泡浴，並點上香氛蠟燭與浪漫音樂寵愛自己

Day 29: 虛心的向長輩或戀愛高手請教戀愛建議和任何愛情的do and don't

Day 30: 早起吃早餐，花上一整天盡量玩樂，不擔心任何事情和計畫

 

 

從8個心理學新知探索，原來這才是愛情！

文字：Sandy  VOGUE.TW |  圖片：悅己 |  更新：3/21/2016  8 DAYS AGO

 想像中的愛情總是最美好，看多了電影的我們，常常誤會了什麼是愛情的「正解」、什麼是長遠的「愛的生存之道」。來看看以下8個心理學的研究結果，也許會讓人再重新認識愛情。

 

1. 研究結果顯示：「男性比女性更懂浪漫」，這也是為什麼情侶分手時，可能會聽到男生說出各種不可理喻的原因，「感覺變了」、「我們之間沒有愛情了」…，對男生來說，在一段感情裡，他們對「愛」的需求更勝於女性。

 

2. 根據心理學研究：送花是浪漫的表現，也是讓愛情增溫最直接的方法，卻容易讓對方感到「太浪漫」、「不可靠」，因此耍浪漫之餘，別忘了要拿出你的真心真意。

 

3. 踏入愛河的人，常常會情不自禁地關注心儀的對象，現在研究證實了：「雙方越常凝視彼此，就越容易墜入愛河」，原來一直偷看喜歡的人也是有科學根據的啊！另外，若頻繁地眉目傳情，表示兩人可能都已經對對方產生情愫了。

 

4. 演藝圈的男星在成為爸爸以後，常常人氣不減反增，在孩子面前的溫柔形象更是迷倒一票粉絲。然而對廣泛的男生來說，不需要當到爸爸，光是閒聊一些關於孩子的話題，就能無意間增添女生難以抵擋的魅力，進而為戀情加溫。

 

5. 你相信嗎？跟不太浪漫的人談戀愛，反而更有可能建立起長久而穩固的戀情。過去的感情經驗、父母的相處模式，都會在無形之中，影響自己未來在愛情或婚姻中的選擇。

 

6. 愛情裡的「無縫接軌」看似是自私而傷人的行為，但研究結果驚人地顯示，有98%的人都是在現任伴侶出現之後，才主動結束前一段感情；沒有第三者介入而單純提出分手的人，僅有稀少的2%。

 

7. 童話故事裡的「true love kiss」可以治百病，在科學研究上，看著心愛的人或其照片，對於病人真的具有減輕疼痛的效果。除了止痛以外，愛情也被證實能帶來更多的創作靈感。

 

8. 一見鍾情和長跑多年的感情可能享有同等程度的幸福感，相戀時間的長短和幸福的程度沒有絕對，但研究指出：「性福」的情侶往往走得較長久。

 

成為不可替代的存在！內向者必學4樣職場生存法則

文字：Sandy  VOGUE.TW |  更新：3/24/2016  5 DAYS AGO

 在刻板印象中，我們總覺得性格內向的人在職場中發展有限、不如外向者八面玲瓏來的討巧，但其實每種性格都有值得肯定的長處和優勢，關鍵就在於自己是 否有找到自我的職業競爭力，讓自己成為不可替代的人選。性格內向者如何在職場中找到適合自己的生存法則？以下4點不可不學起來！

 

接受同事們的邀約

此點特別是用於剛進入一家新公司時，這時候上司和同事往往會帶領你到各部門熟悉環境、一起共用午餐，或是下班後找個地方續攤小聚，如果不是真的 有特別重要的急事，最好別拒絕同事善意的邀請。在這個過程中也許得花費一些精力去進行適應、交際，但絕對比之後獨自花費更多力氣去與公司同事社交來的容 易。

 

在需要的時候，找到能安靜工作的方式

在必要的時候，找一個能夠讓自己集中精神的空間來辦公，避免在吵雜的環境中使自己分心，不僅更能專注在工作上，也將大大提升工作效率。

 

每天休息幾次

許多性格內向的人，往往不太適應接連不斷的會議和連續不停的談話，因此藉著「離開辦公室」的機會，比如繞著辦公樓走一圈、送公文的路上，甚至是下樓買杯咖啡等，都是能夠整理思路的好機會，在下個會議開始前為自己沉澱心情。

 

主動爭取適合內向人做的工作

一般來說，每個組織內部都會有一些較為繁冗的工作業務，需要高度集中和忍耐力才能完成，像是長達二十五頁的年度報告、一份五公分厚的客戶資料等等，若是主動去爭取這些工作，你不但可以輕愉快地完成，還能一舉成為眾同事心目中的英雄呢！

7 Things People With Social Anxiety Do

Amy Morin What Mentally Strong People Don't Do

6. They criticize their own social skills.

Posted Mar 17, 2016 

 Social anxiety disorder goes beyond being shy or introverted. It involves an extreme fear of social interaction and it interferes with an individual's daily life. The symptoms usually begin around age 13 and persist into adulthood. But most people with social anxiety wait at least 10 years to get help, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
Whether you think you may have social anxiety, or suspect that someone you know might, here are some of the most common signs:

Source: spass/Shutterstock

1. They imagine embarrassing themselves.
Whether they're about to meet a new person, or they're walking into a social gathering, people with social anxiety disorder envision horribly embarrassing scenarios. They worry that they'll say or do the wrong thing, and they picture that behavior horrifying other people.
2. They avoid situations in which they'll be judged.
Social anxiety causes people to think things like, "Other people will think I'm stupid," or "I'll mess up and everyone is going to think I'm a loser." Their extreme fear of rejection causes them to steer clear of uncertain social situations whenever possible.
3. They only feel comfortable with a few specific people.
Most people with social anxiety feel comfortable with a few specific individuals—such as a best friend, a parent, or a sibling. Interacting with other individuals can lead to a serious spike in anxiety. Often, taking a "safe" person to the grocery store or a social gathering makes interactions a lot less scary.
4. They worry that other people will notice their fear.
Whether they speak up in a meeting or try to make small talk with an acquaintance, people with social anxiety worry that their anxiety is noticeable. They tend to experience physical symptoms such as a flushed face, sweaty palms, trembling hands or shortness of breath, and they're convinced that everyone else can tell when they're nervous.
5. They experience specific social fears.
For some people with social anxiety, the fear is contained to public speaking. But others experience extreme anxiety over things like writing in front of others or eating in public places. Many people with social anxiety fear talking on the phone as well.
6. They criticize their own social skills.
People with social anxiety spend a lot of time analyzing their social interactions. They replay conversations in their minds over and over and scrutinize their communication. They exaggerate their flaws and judge themselves harshly.
7. Their thoughts often become a self-fulfilling prophecies.
The negative thoughts associated with social anxiety often turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. Someone who thinks, "People always think I'm weird," may stick to himself during social engagements. His aloofness may discourage others from talking to him, reinforcing his belief that he's socially awkward.
How to Get Help
Social anxiety is a very treatable condition. Therapy, medication, or a combination of the two can often alleviate the symptoms. If you think you may have social anxiety, talk to your doctor. A physician can rule out medical issues that could be contributing to the symptoms and can refer you for appropriate psychological treatment if necessary.

鍛練自律神經的九個習慣

• 文章出處：Web only
• 2015.09.14
• 作者 ： 《甦活力》作者 南和友
• 圖片來源 ： 黃明堂

每當我告訴別人，平衡良好的自律神經「臨界值」升高，就能提高自癒能力時，就會被問到：「要鍛練自律神經的話，該怎麼做才好？」我會建議養成以下九個習慣。

一、調整生活的節奏。
二、吃飯八分飽。
三、運動。
四、使用五種感官。
五、有意識的控制呼吸。
六、感動。
七、維持熱情。
八、適度使用藥物。
九、休假。

九個習慣彼此息息相關，沒辦法一次全部到位，請先從能做的事情慢慢做起。

開始練習「調整生活的節奏」的患者中，不乏這樣的聲音：「因為一直都是起得很晚，偶爾早起時，沒事可做。」心裡想著：「現在吃早餐太早了，又沒辦法去上班」於是倒頭繼續再睡。

其實，身體從早上五點就進入活動模式。如果在這個時間醒來，不妨去散個步，同時養成「運動」、「使用五種感官」的習慣。在清爽的早晨活動，會讓人心曠神怡。然後六點吃早餐，會覺得比平常還要美味。此時可練習「吃飯八分飽」和「感動」等習慣。

如此一來，九個習慣彼此相輔相成，就會變得健康，逐漸活力飽滿。

不少心臟病患都有生活不規律的毛病。當我對他們說：「明天早上八點來看診哦。」他們的回答是：「醫師，八點時我還在睡覺啊。」相較於開藥，還不如要他們調整生活節奏，效果更佳。

檢視他們服用的藥物，不乏大量的安眠藥。長夜漫漫，輾轉難眠，晝夜交會之際，掛念著「明天一定得去醫院不可」，因此服用了安眠藥。因為藥的副作用，早上又起不來了。

這是很多五十歲中壯世代的通病。全職的主婦也是如此，不少人在先生上班後，就在家睡回籠覺，睡兩、三個鐘頭，晚上就無法提早就寢。

大白天睡覺而能早睡早起的人，當然也是有的，不過，身體在活動模式時，卻花很多時間睡覺，會破壞自律神經的平衡，「臨界值」無法提升，下次就會陷入「不管做什麼都覺得很麻煩」的無力狀態。

首先使用五種感官

九個習慣該從何者下手？我會建議「使用五種感官」。可以輕鬆上手，而且是現代生活中不可或缺的習慣。

五種感官，隨時隨地都有機會進行鍛練。在餐廳吃飯時，傾聽流瀉的背景音樂，仔細想想：「這是誰的曲子？」光是這麼做，就會注意到平時容易忽略的事情。

觀察旅館或百貨公司的裝置藝術品也不錯。前一陣子，在旅館的酒吧附近，我發現一個有大量水流的裝置藝術品，一時職業病發作，開始想像：「這個水流量是多少 呢？心臟每小時大概有七千兩百公升左右的血流，這個應該有一百倍吧。」一旦有了充分使用五種感官的經驗，不管以後看了什麼，體驗了什麼，都可能想到「跟當 時看到的藝術品好像」，如此一來，就會觸發感動，想要嘗試新的體驗。

現在我的住處和工作地點，都在群馬縣，感受自然、使用五種感官的機會很多，能夠到這裡工作，我覺得真是太好了。

當初回日本的契機，就是要打造日本第一的心臟中心，但是沒有成功，有好幾個星期心情都很低落，感到十分遺憾；不過，在現在的環境中，可以全心照顧病患，傾力培育後進，附近又有溫泉和高爾夫球場，可以盡情沈浸在我的嗜好中，與大自然接觸的機會也不少。

只要充分使用各個感官，每一刻都會變得多采多姿，帶來人生的充實感和活力。

九大習慣相互作用

就我所知，九大習慣中，沒有人單獨只做「感動」或是「維持熱情」。比方說，因為吃到八分飽，胃腸消化良好，讓身體很想動一動。因為產生了運動的念頭，觸動了熱情，因此早早起床，健健康康地度日，如此一來，因為心情很好，小小的感動也能讓人回味再三。

說到感動，很多人聯想到的是看電影時，感動到潸然淚下的畫面，其實，感動存在於日常生活的點點滴滴中。試著從日常生活中去尋找心動時刻吧。

請想一想，感動到全身起雞皮疙瘩的經驗。首先是交感神經先工作，分泌出腎上腺素，讓血管收縮，血壓上升。過了一陣子，為了不讓血壓過度上升，副交感神經上場，鬆弛血管，讓血流恢復正常，再透過腦內啡的分泌，讓人獲得愉悅感，而就是所謂的「感動」。

自律神經若能正常運作，交感神經開始作用後，副交感神經一定逆向運作，這種平衡喪失的話，最典型的現象，就是生活節奏大亂。

我前面已經提到，人體的生活節奏，是「日出而作、日落而息」，也就是說，早上五點，交感神經優先運作，自然而然，就會醒來；到了晚上九點，輪到副交感神經 優先運作，就變得想睡覺了。當然有人說：「我是夜貓子。」但這是後天習慣所造成。從交感神經和副交感神經的生理時鐘來看，每個人一開始應該都是早起的鳥 兒。

要把亂掉的作息調整回來，需要相當的時間。根據我從事健康指導的經驗，恢復正常的生活節奏，差不多要花將近一個月的時間。從現在開始練習的話，與其早睡， 不如早起。剛開始不論睡了多少，一定要強迫自己起來。當天應該一整天都想睡覺，但忍耐一下，不要在白天睡覺，撐到晚上，早一點上床，應該就可以好好睡一 覺。

原本抱怨「早睡早起真是太辛苦了，實在沒辦法」的人，經過這樣反覆練習，有一天突然說：「最近，早起變得很輕鬆了。」

更多內容請見《甦活力 － 調節自律神經，血管有彈性的養生術》
  http://www.commonhealth.com.tw/article/article.action?nid=70596&fullpage=true

15 Ways Exercise Makes You Look and Feel Younger

Want to turn back the clock? Ditch the creams and potions and start sweating off the years.
 

Age in reverse

by Esther Crain
The powers of a steady fitness routine are impressive: regular exercise can help you build stronger muscles, stave off chronic illnesses, and make your clothes fit a whole lot better. But there's another benefit of physical activity that deserves a shout-out: the way even moderate amounts seem to shave years off your age, no matter how many birthdays you've actually celebrated. Of course, you can't change your chronological age, but exercise can improve your health to the point where you look and feel younger than you are, says Frank Frisch, PhD, director of kinesiology at Chapman University in Orange, Calif. Behold the 15 physical and mental effects a sweat session can have on your brain and body. Just reading this list will motivate you to never blow off a gym session again.
 

Exercise gives you more vim and vigor

A workout is like nature's energy drink, firing up your brain and body so you feel more alert and alive. "Exercise puts your body in a state of arousal, which translates into more vitality and a greater sense of well being," says Frisch. "Daily tasks become less strenuous and require less exertion." It's the kind of pep in your step that makes you feel like you've peeled off a decade or two.
 

Exercise jumpstarts your sex drive

A sweat session improves blood flow all over your body, including below the belt, and the extra blood surge makes you feel more responsive and increasing arousal, says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale School of Medicine. Exercise also powers your sex drive in a psychological way. "Working out brings on more confidence about your appearance and body, and that puts you in a sexier mindset," says Dr. Minkin. And don't forget the all-over energy surge exercise offers, which gives you extra fuel so you can rock the sheets. 

 

Exercise keeps your skin soft and glowing

A dewy sheen on your cheeks thanks to all the sweat dripping off your forehead may not be the only way fitness keeps your skin young. Researchers at McMaster University in Ontario studied a small group of adults between ages 20 and 84. The frequent exercisers who were over age 40 had skin that resembled the more supple, elastic skin of people in their 20s and 30s. The difference had nothing to do with sun exposure (which would age your skin faster if you didn't wear sunscreen), reported the research team; they theorized that exercise creates body substances that help slow aging in skin, though they say more research is needed to learn how exercise changes skin composition.
 

Exercise improves your posture

Thanks to muscle loss and bone density changes, your posture takes a hit as you age. Counteract this with strength training, which builds muscle and bone health, especially in your core and along your spine, so you naturally stand taller and shave years off your appearance, says Amie Hoff, personal trainer and founder of Hoff Fitness in New York City. Working out also makes you feel more psychologically powerful, so you naturally stop slouching and straighten up, she adds. 

Exercise improves your flexibility

Aging doesn't just make your opinions more inflexible—it makes your muscles and joints more fixed in place as well, leaving you feeling stiff and rickety. Regular workouts, especially stretching-oriented routines such as yoga and Pilates, keep you loose and bendy, says Hoff. "If cardio workouts are your preference, you can still boost your flexibility by warming up and cooling down with foam roller exercises," she suggests. This foam fitness tool gets rid of the knots that form in muscle, reducing rigidity. 

 

Exercise boosts your mood

You've heard of runner's high, and that blissful mood boost can happen during any sweat-inducing cardio workout. It seems to come down to endorphins: the body chemicals your system cranks out when you're active. "Endorphins are like natural opiates," says Eric Sternlicht, PhD, associate professor of kinesiology at Chapman University. Some evidence shows that gym sessions can trigger changes in other neurotransmitters linked to pleasurable feelings, such as dopamine. And the confidence kick you get helps you feel happier too.
 

Exercise helps you sleep soundly

Restful sleep is like a fountain of youth, and exercise helps you achieve it. "Research shows that regular exercisers fall asleep more easily and are more likely to experience deep REM sleep," says Frisch. A heart-pumping workout tires you out, sure, but there's more to it than that. Sleeping well helps all the systems in your body function optimally, so you're less likely to feel stressed and then toss and turn all night. A recent study bears this out, finding that getting at least 150 minutes of exercise per week improved sleep quality by 65%.
 

Exercise keeps your metabolism high

Metabolism naturally slows as you age, so it's harder to avoid pound creepage as the years pass. Luckily scheduling regular workout sessions helps you increase the total number of calories you burn, helping you maintain a steady, healthy weight. You'll torch more calories if you add in resistance training to your routine at least a few times a week, since working out with free weights or doing bodyweight exercises helps build muscle mass. "The more muscle you have, the higher your calorie burn is," says Sternlicht. "And it stays higher all day long, even after you've stopped exercising."

 

Exercise slows cell aging

Exercise doesn't just make you feel younger—it may actually turn off the aging process in your chromosomes. It has to do with telomeres, the caps at the end of chromosomes that control aging. Telomeres become shorter as you get older, and longer telomeres are associated with longevity. Recent studies have found a link between regular exercise and the lengthening of the telomeres, suggesting that exercise can slow the clock so you live longer. "Though exercise won't guarantee you a long life, it can greatly improve your odds," says Frisch.
 

Exercise reduces belly fat

As you creep into middle age, fat that used to primarily land on your hips and thighs starts to increasingly show up along your belly; this is especially true after menopause. Unlike fat on other body areas, this visceral fat, as it's known, can increase your risk of chronic conditions such as diabetes and heart disease. It's stubborn, but regular cardio sessions appear to reduce or erase it. A 2011 Duke University study found that cardio workouts can lead to more belly fat loss than strength training workouts or a combo of strength training and cardio. 

 

Exercise relieves stress

A long outdoor run or scenic hike can distract you from anxiety and worries. But there may be a physiological reason exercise lowers stress levels. "The endorphin release prompted by a workout has a relaxing effect and reduces anxiety," says Zonoozi. Also, more meditative forms of exercise, such as yoga or Tai Chi, encourage mindfulness along with moving your body. Staying in the moment so you focus on your breathing and heart rate make it a lot harder to mentally freak out about a stressful work project or that fight you had last night with a friend.
 

Exercise enhances your memory

As years pass, it's normal to become forgetful. But research suggests that you can fight brain fog with fitness. Researchers writing in the British Journal of Sports Medicine in 2014 found that regular aerobic exercise seems to increase the size of the hippocampus, a part of the brain associated with memory. Previous research has also linked exercise to sharper cognitive skills. If you're experiencing more senior moments these days, dial them back by getting on the treadmill.
 

Exercise makes your heart more efficient

Like all muscles, your heart gets weak and flabby with inactivity. As a result, it has to work harder to pump blood throughout your body, racking up more stress and leaving you feeling easily fatigued and winded. Good thing even moderately intense exercise (like a brisk 30-minute walk) can make your heart stronger, so it pumps oxygen-rich blood more efficiently through your system, resulting in less strain, says Rhonda Zonoozi, exercise physiologist and certified health and wellness coach at the Sun Health Center for Health and Wellbeing in Arizona.
 

Exercise protects you from heart disease

Exercise's heart-healthy benefits don't stop there. Regular workouts also reduce your risk of cardio problems that tend to crop up with age, such as high blood pressure and high levels of triglycerides, a type of fat in the blood that can block or harden arteries. Both are big-time contributors to heart disease, the number one killer of men and women, according to the CDC. "Exercise also improves levels of HDL, or good cholesterol, the kind that protects your heart from cardiovascular disease," says Zonoozi.

 

Exercise improves your blood flow

As you age, it's not only joints that can get stiff—the blood vessels in your body can lose their flexibility. This makes it harder for them to expand and contract as needed to deliver oxygen-rich blood to parts of the body that need it the most (like the brain, heart, and muscles.) And stiffer arteries can raise your blood pressure, meaning your heart has to work harder to pump blood through them. Exercise can lower blood pressure and improve circulation, and some research suggests that even simple stretching—think yoga, Pilates, or any stretching moves—can help boost flexibility of blood vessels.