The Best Advice From the Happiest People on the Planet

Looking to boost your mood for the rest of your days? Here's some feel-good advice from some of the happiest people on the planet. 

 

How to be happy

by Kate Rockwood
From Health magazine
Psst! Here's a secret that could make even a pessimist smile: Minor shifts in your regular habits can add up to serious joy. We've collected tips and insights from sunny personalities (famous and not) to help you discover more moments of pleasure in your everyday life.

Streamline your mornings

"The beginning of your day shapes how you feel the rest of the time. If you start out discombobulated, it's tough to clean your mental palate and begin again. So look at your morning patterns and think about what the snags are—the moments that make you scramble. Are you always struggling to find your keys? Commit to putting them in the same place. Are you always a little late to work? Time your commute for a week. If it really takes 27 minutes, giving yourself only 20 to get there will leave you feeling rushed."—Gretchen Rubin, author of the best-selling Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits ($10, amazon.com)

Love the skin you're in

"When you're larger-bodied, you're taught to approach physical activity thinking, 'This is not for me.' But when you talk to yourself like that, you don't stand much of a chance.

The first time I did yoga, I was 16, and it felt so new and scary. I really got beaten down. It wasn't until years later that I realized how big a role I had played in my own miserable experience. It took me seven years to even try yoga again.

We're all so obsessed with how others see us. I've been asked, 'What if people stare at me?' They're going to. They just are. But you have to check yourself: 'Why am I here? To worry about all the body issues other people are projecting onto me? Or to do my own thing and exercise?' I just ignore the looks and focus on my practice. If you empower other people's judgment and negativity, it brings you into their mental space. I want to live my life so out loud that I don't give a f--k if anyone is staring."—Jessamyn Stanley, the yoga teacher behind the inspiring Instagram account @mynameisjessamyn

Don't save your good undies for date night

"Underwear is the first thing you put on in the morning and the last thing you take off, so it should be something you love to wear. I think of a pretty bra and panties as a way to take care of myself. They help you feel comfortable, sexy, and luxurious. If someone else is lucky enough to see them? That's even better!"

—Heidi Klum, creative director of Heidi Klum Intimates
 

Flex your nostalgia

"When we study cultures from around the world, we find that the happiest people tend to have a connection to their ancestors and know where they come from. We humans get deep joy from feeling like we're part of a continuum. One surefire way to work in daily flashes of joy is to create what I call a 'pride shrine': Take pictures and memorabilia—a photo of your grandmother as a little girl, your kid's drawing, a seashell from the summer house you escape to with friends—and put them someplace you walk by every day. I have a pride shrine right outside my bedroom, and every day, I tend to linger on whatever catches my eye."

—Dan Buettner, National Geographic Fellow and author of The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer from the People Who've Lived the Longest ($5, amazon.com)
 

Invite people over

"I get such happiness from hosting friends, and I've learned that the parties I love most are the ones where you can take your shoes off, like a casual dinner party or a game night. I like having some sort of shared activity. We did a clambake recently, and it took the pressure off of making small talk."

—Lauren Conrad, fashion designer and author of Celebrate ($19, amazon.com)
 

Make room for the not-so-happy feelings, too

"When someone asks how my day at the hospital was, I feel like I could either dump for 15 minutes and kill the conversation or keep it superficial and say, 'Fine.' It's easier to keep it superficial. But you can't be superficial with yourself. Sometimes at the end of one of those hard days, I'll want to work out or take my dogs to the park. Other times I'll shower and have a good cry. As sad as that sounds, it's a release of emotion. Allowing space for my sadness lets me move forward. After five years of taking care of sick kids, there are still more days that I come home feeling happy and deeply satisfied than not."

—Aileen Griffin, RN, a pediatric intensive care nurse at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago
 

Halt a stress spiral

"The things that we fret about are often the things that are outside of our control: 'My plane is late, I'll miss my connection, I don't know what's going to happen next.' When I notice my thoughts starting to spin out of control, I say to myself, 'Something will happen.' It's a reminder that I can't figure out what that will be, exactly. But I'll still be OK. Something will happen. There's no sense in worrying that I'm going to evaporate in the meantime."

—Sharon Salzberg, co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Mass

Pencil in time for pleasure

"Even if you work 60 hours a week, you probably still have time to do the things you love. The trouble is, most busy women assume they don't. So they make nebulous goals for some distant future, like 'Exercise more' or 'Catch up with friends.' That doesn't help.

But if you decide you want to grab coffee with your neighbor Beth, that's a very clear goal and you're more likely to do it. You'll call Beth and pick a date. When I studied the time logs of professional women, I realized that planning specific activities was key.

This Friday, take 10 minutes to set priorities for the next week. Then look at your calendar. You want to exercise more? How about a spin class on Tuesday at 7 p.m.?"

—Laura Vanderkam, author of I Know How She Does It ($19, amazon.com)

Act like a big shot

"If you have an extra $20 to burn, our research suggests that you can get even more joy from the money if you spend it on someone else. And, ideally, you'd spend it in a way that allows you to see the difference your generosity is making. Treat a co-worker to coffee, or take a friend who's in a rough patch out to a meal. You'll make them feel good—which will make you feel good."

—Elizabeth Dunn, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of British Columbia and author of Happy Money ($8, amazon.com)
 

Smile at a stranger

"Children in preschool get so happy about the littlest things. When they're squeezing orange juice, they're excited about how much they've squeezed. When they're growing pumpkin seeds, they're amazed by every half inch. It's a constant 'aha!' reminder about the uplifting impact even small moments can have. So I make it a point to try to brighten someone else's day. I might compliment the store clerk's sweater or stop to chat with a homeless woman. I might offer a smile to a stranger—and wind up getting one back."

—Darla Pulliam, a preschool teacher at Culver City Unified School District's Center for Early Education in California
 

Love a plant

"I find that having some greenery in my space gives me a little spirit boost. Try an autograph plant. They grow in sun or shade, in droughts or floods—and they're gorgeous. The real deal is awesome, but you can get the same lift from faux greenery. I have two dozen white tulips in a beautiful vase with water right now, and they make me smile every day. They're also fake as hell."

—Alison Victoria, host of HGTV's Kitchen Crashers
 

Enjoy your job, even if it's not your one true calling

"We hear all the time that we should follow our passions. But new research shows that people who believe that and aren't currently in their dream job are more likely to be depressed. The truth is, you can be happy in a lot of jobs. It's often perspective that separates happy co-workers from those who are constantly thinking that life sucks. And when people are in a job long enough to become an expert at it, they typically find that it becomes their passion.

To enjoy the job you're stuck in now, start by writing down three new things every day that you're thankful for at work. Sure, maybe you have a colleague you can't stand. But you got to work from home on Friday and your boss complimented your last report and someone left a box of doughnuts in the break room. We have a bias toward negativity that hard-wires us to focus on the bad stuff. But writing down a list of the good things can boost our resilience and our happiness."

—Emma Seppala, PhD, science director of Stanford University's Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and author of The Happiness Track ($17, amazon.com)
 

Prioritize movement

"My calendar gets very busy really quickly, but I know that my days don't work unless I find at least some time to be active. I schedule it in like a meeting, and then I have a backup plan in my mind (and on some days a backup plan for the backup plan) just in case conflicts come up. I get this energy from being active that I don't get from anything else. My body craves movement, and it inspires me. Sometimes I even go to a fitness class in the middle of the day just to get my brain working better."

—Payal Kadakia, co-founder and CEO of ClassPass

Replace a bad habit

"With a negative habit, you've got a billion neurons that are used to heading in the same direction, encouraging you to eat the ice cream or gossip with your co-worker or view the glass as half empty. If you want to stop a certain tendency, you have to fill the gap with a new behavior.

Let's say you're a natural complainer with your running buddy. Try starting the run by talking about something positive instead. Research shows that the beginning of a conversation predicts the ending. So with that simple shift, you're off on a different path.

Another tip: Make the new habit as easy as you can. The biggest barrier to starting a new behavior is the energy needed at the outset, like digging your guitar out of the closet before you practice. But if you shave just 20 seconds off the time it requires, the habit is more likely to stick. So move that guitar to a stand right next to the sofa. When you stack the cards in your favor, you'll start defaulting to the habit you want."

—Shawn Achor, a happiness researcher and author of The Happiness Advantage ($15, amazon.com)
 

Keep sex spicy

"In the beginning of a relationship, there is so much mystery and novelty that the newness provides the mental stimulation piece of sexual arousal. Once the neurochemical cocktail of early attraction wanes, people think, 'What now?'

Try to think of sex like food. When it comes to eating a balanced diet, you have a pyramid filled with variety. Sex also has some basic groups: sex that's about emotional intimacy, sex that's a quickie, sex that's really about fantasy, sex that's about the different senses. Consider what's on your personal sex menu—things you always like, but also things you only sometimes like and things you'd like to try. Just talking about it with your partner can heighten your arousal even before you get to the bedroom."

—Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex counselor in New York City and founder of the site Good In Bed

Why It's So Hard for Anyone to Get Over Fear of Flying

Tom Bunn L.C.S.W. Conquer Fear Of Flying

Blame your imagination, and your hormones.

Posted Sep 20, 2015 

 Reason has remarkably little effect on fear of flying, and nothing illustrates this better than looking at the statistics. M.I.T. professor of statistics Arnold Barnett (link is external) tells us that only 1 in 45 million (link is external) flights in the U.S. results in a fatal crash. This is meant to be reassuring. But, due to the way the brain works, it has the opposite effect.
To our emotional brain, 45 million is an abstraction. It isn't personally meaningful. But, the other number—the number 1—hits home. It's personal. It represents the plane that crashed. What did the people on that flight feel? Maybe they boarded expecting that nothing bad would happen. These thoughts trigger the release of stress hormones and a cascade of feelings: Your heart beats faster. There is noticeable perspiration. Mentally, your focus tightens. Physically, you are tense.
Feelings cause a problem. We test reality with our feelings. When we see something, if we can touch it, we intuitively accept it as real. When imagination of crashing causes feelings, it deceives us. Feelings can serve as proof that what is in the mind is real. The person knows they are not on the plane. But feelings make what we picture in the mind so real that the thought arises that this could be an omen.
Even if you can resist the idea of omens, it becomes difficult to look at an upcoming flight objectively if you wake up at 3 a.m. dreaming about a crash. Dreams like that are too close for comfort. It's difficult to struggle your way through the logic of saying to yourself —in a way that you believe it—that it has no meaning.
If this 1-in-45 million statistic is going to be helpful, we have to put it into a meaningful context: How can a person correctly conceptualize this number? Since the emotional mind is highly visual, let's try to conceptualize 1 in 45 million visually.
* A typical highway billboard is 14 feet high by 48 feet wide. If you drew vertical lines across the billboard one inch apart, and horizontal lines from top to bottom one inch apart, how many one inch blocks would you have?
Fourteen feet is 168 inches. That means 168 horizontal lines. Forty-eight feet is 576 inches. That means 576 vertical lines. After drawing those lines on a blank billboard you would have 96,768 blocks. But, we need 45 million blocks. That's 465 times as many. Already, this may be bringing a different view of how safe flying is.
* Let’s try quarter-inch blocks. That means 672 horizontal lines one-quarter of an inch apart, and 2,304 vertical lines one-quarter of an inch apart. That gives us 1,548,288 blocks. If we mark just one of them, that would represent aviation safety in the Third World. But in the developed world, flying is about 250 times safer.
We need more blocks.
* What about lines spaced one-tenth of an inch apart? That would mean 1,680 horizontal lines and 5,760 vertical lines. This is getting to be a lot of work. That gives us 9,676,800 blocks. We need over four times that many.
* What about one-sixteenth of an inch? That means 2,688 horizontal lines and 9,216 vertical lines. That gives us 24,772,608 blocks.
* Maybe we should try millimeters. There are 25.4 millimeters per inch. So that means our billboard has 4,267 horizontal lines one millimeter apart and 14,630 horizontal lines. Oops, that comes to 62,426.210 blocks. Too many. But we are in the ball park. We have something we can conceptualize.
So: Imagine a block smaller than one-sixteenth of an inch but a bit larger than one millimeter, and you've got it. Imagine you carefully mark it with a tiny felt tip pin. You block it out.
Next time you drive down the highway and see billboards, consider the block that represents the chance of crashing. As you pass the billboard, it isn't even close to visible. You can't see it, so you imagine it. Now, though, you imagine it in a different way.
Let's take it one more step: Instead of blacking out that one tiny square, let's use a photograph. Take one of those plane crash images in your mind and reduce it in size to a little over one millimeter by one millimeter. Replace the black mark with the tiny photograph. Yes, the crash exists. But so do 45 million other flights, all of which arrived safely. Airline safety is not perfect, but there are few things you could do that are safer.
Why, then, is flying so difficult to deal with? Again, it has to do with how the mind works. After we release stress hormones, one of three things can happen:

• If you can identify the cause as unthreatening, the stress hormone release ends.
• If the cause does involve a threat—if you can take control of the situation—executive function, or high-level thinking in your pre-frontal cortex, signals the amygdala to stop the release of stress hormones.
• If you cannot control the threat, escape is called for.

On the ground, we can generally control anxiety through these steps. But in the air, few passengers can be sure that every noise or motion is benign. None can end the release of stress hormones via control or escape.
Though there are many ideas about how to minimize anxiety in spite of this situation, the only complete solution (link is external) is to shut down the release of stress hormones at the source—the amygdala. When we produce oxytocin, it inhibits the amygdala. Thus, just as Pavlov taught his dogs to salivate at the sound of bell, we can train the anxious passenger to produce oxytocin when boarding, when seated, when the door closes, when the plane takes off, when there is turbulence, and when landing.
No stress hormones, no problem.

3 Ways Your Unconscious Mind May Be Keeping You Single

Madeleine A Fugère Ph.D. Dating and Mating

2. You could be hung up an ex without even realizing it.

Posted Feb 11, 2016 

 Many people are consciously and happily single. But if you are interested in finding a mate, consider these unconscious factors which may be affecting your status:
1. The Preference for Physical Attractiveness

When looking for a romantic partner, we all desire a certain physically attractive ideal. Although men are more likely than women to say they are looking for an attractive partner,¹ a variety of experimental and speed-dating research shows that women value attractiveness as much as men do.² This preference for physical attractiveness is rooted in our evolutionary history and may help to steer us toward partners who are healthy and able to reproduce.³ However, this preference may also be keeping you single.
Consider the case of my friend "Jason." (His and all names following have been changed.) I have known him for 20 years and he has remained single throughout that time, engaging in only a few brief relationships. Jason is moderately attractive, but he will only date women who are extremely attractive. This preference for attractiveness may be the reason why Jason is still single: Research shows that when we date more attractive partners, our partners recognize the disparity in physical attractiveness and are less committed to our relationships. They also think more about breaking up and show more interest in dating alternative partners.⁴
In contrast, couples who are matched in physical attractiveness are much more likely to enjoy long-term relationships.⁵ Rather than looking for the most attractive mate, then, you might want to consider seeking a mate who matches your physical attractiveness. These relationships can be less rife with jealousy⁶ and more likely to endure over the long term.

2. Hung Up on an Ex

Do you have an ex-partner you can’t forget? Interestingly, research suggests that even if you think you are over your ex, your unconscious attitude toward that person may still be positive.⁷ Researchers studying “implicit” attitudes, which are unconscious “gut” reactions,⁸ have found that these positive associations with an ex may lead to increased feelings of distress and unhappiness following a break-up, and an increased desire to reunite with the ex.⁷
My friend Sonia and her boyfriend of one year broke up a few months ago. Her ex was clear from the start that they could not have a long-term relationship because of their religious differences, but Sonia liked him and was content to date him knowing that their relationship would likely not be permanent. Although it has been six months since the split, Sonia continues to resist starting a new relationship. Given that they did not break up because of relationship problems, we can assume that Sonia’s implicit attitudes toward her ex remain positive.
Research suggests that one of the best ways to alleviate distress following a break-up is to find a new partner.⁷ Those individuals who are able to move on not only feel less distress and less desire to reunite with exes, they delight in their new partners and relationships.

3. Unfavorable Gender Ratio

If you are a student on a college campus, if you are online dating, or if you work in a setting primarily with members of your own sex, your perceived gender ratio may appear to be unfavorable. That is, in each of these environments, there may seem to be many more members of your own sex than the opposite sex. Recent research shows that when women perceive an unfavorable gender ratio, they may unconsciously adopt more positive attitudes toward short-term mating strategies such as engaging in casual sex. Interestingly, though, when respondents perceived more men than women, both male and female respondents were more likely to endorse a long-term mating strategy.⁹
My friend Laila is currently looking for a partner. She has tried the bar scene as well as online dating. (Yes, I have tried to fix her up with Jason, but she is apparently not more attractive than him.) Laila has noticed that there are more women than men using online dating sites. Although she is nor consciously aware of how this gender ratio may be impacting her attitudes, she has engaged in casual sex more often over the past few years. She even has a “boy toy” whom she sees occasionally just for sex. Although Laila enjoys casual sex, she is also looking for a long-term relationship.
Researchers suggest that an imbalanced gender ratio can lead to increased feelings of competition with others of the same sex, as well as a feeling that one has to adopt the sexual strategies of the gender in the majority.⁹ However, the perceived gender ratio is just that—perceived. According to U.S. Census data, the gender ratio for those aged 15-64 is ... 1-to-1.¹⁰ If you perceive an unfavorable gender ratio, seek out the opposite situation: For example, my friend Jason (an engineer) used to take psychology courses just to meet (ideally, highly attractive) women.

Although such unconscious influences may impact our dating and mating decisions without our knowledge, once you know about them, you can exercise conscious control and use this knowledge to attain your desired dating outcomes.

單身女的10大魅力，這麼優質還沒來追的你一定是瘋了

http://www.beauty321.com/post/9116

文：春春

西洋情人節才剛過，怎麼感覺轉眼間就要到白色情人節了，到底是要逼哭單身女子幾次呢！這篇其實是偏自肥文，就讓小編來娓娓道出單身女的10大魅力，保證讓你驚訝原來自己如此完美(笑)～

1.超級獨立

圖片來源：www.dahong.co.kr

她們通常都自己包辦生活大小事，舉凡自己煮飯、組裝新的家具等等，從來不會讓人擔心，總是可以一人完成許多事情。

 

2.沒有公主病

圖片來源：www.dahong.co.kr

單身久的女孩，因為獨立慣了，從來不知道什麼是「公主病」，不會有驕縱的一面，也不會有包包需要男人提的狀況發生。

3.很有行動力

圖片來源：kongstyle.co.kr

因為單身，想要做什麼就會去做，那個模樣看起來特別的有魅力，她可能上個月說想出國讀書，這個月就立馬出國了，這樣的積極人生觀非常值得學習。

4.有自己的生活

圖片來源：kongstyle.co.kr

她的生活步調她自己最懂，一周要去兩次瑜珈課、一次語言課程，她們不喜歡過於黏膩的兩人關係，適當的保有個人興趣及生活。

5.特別神秘

圖片來源：www.naning9.com

你永遠無法掌握她的下一步會做什麼，所以總讓你感覺她很難以捉摸。

6.社交範圍大

 

圖片來源：instagram@kongst0907

 因為單身所以可以自由交友，生活圈中不乏新朋友，到哪都可以結交朋友的一面，讓人覺得特別好相處及個性好。

7.注重自己的形象

  今天出門要擦上流行的冷調粉紅唇膏、明天要穿上縮水褲展現時髦力，她們分分秒秒都很注重自己的形象，讓你每天都可以看到漂亮且百變的一面。

8.熱愛自由

圖片來源：instagram@kongst0907

不喜歡被綁住、無拘無束才是她們心中的最佳守則，通常單身久了的女性對於自由的嚮往度更高，即使她們交了男友，也會給對方很大的空間。

9.很會運用時間

圖片來源：http://korean-oppa.tumblr.com/

對於時間的掌握度很高，會獨立分配自己的計畫表，從來不會讓你感覺她正在鬆懈。即使忙了一天下班筋疲力竭，他們也懂得生活中的品味，譬如說來杯紅酒、讀本喜愛的書。

10.充滿自信

圖片來源：instagram@kongst0907

如果你現在也是單身，建議你最好成為一個充滿自信的人！這樣你的神采奕奕大家都看的見，自然而然會發現你不為人知的另外9大魅力。

Your Status as a Single Person Is a Diversity Issue

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. Living Single

Although it is rarely recognized as such, unmarried status is a diversity issue.

Posted Jan 28, 2016 

 Note from Bella: I first wrote this as a column for Unmarried Equality (link is external). Because it was viewed by so many people there, and got picked up by several other publications that were also interested, I wanted to share it here, too.]

Source: DW labs Incorporated/Shutterstock

Get married. Have kids. Stay married. That's the script for how adult lives are supposed to unfold. Never mind that in the U.S., the script maps onto the real lives of fewer and fewer people all the time. Nearly half of all adults 18 and older are legally single, and growing numbers will never marry, often by choice. Even with the legalization of same-sex marriage throughout the land, significant numbers of committed couples will keep their commitment but skip the marriage. And of those who do marry, close to half won't stay that way. The kid part of the script has been upended, too: A growing number of single people have kids, and an increasing number of couples do not.
I. The Script That Remains Powerful, Even as Fewer People Actually Follow It
Even as the way we live now has become strikingly diverse—with nuclear family households accounting for an astonishingly low 20 percent (or less) of all households—the power of the script still prevails. Our laws, our politics, our workplaces, and our places of worship all seem to take that outdated script as a given. It is as if we all really were living our lives that way, or should be, or should want to be. That standard life script also dominates the media, advertising, academia, and the experiences of our everyday lives.
Thoughtful people attuned to issues of social justice know one of the most consequential implications of the supremacy of the standard life script: It is the overwhelming numbers of laws and policies that benefit and protect only those people who follow it. Those who stray from the valued life path are disadvantaged in all the ways that the advocates for same-sex marriage described so compellingly—and in other ways as well.
But the lesser status of the Americans who do not follow the golden brick road—well over 100 million of them—is not just a legal matter. It is also a diversity issue. There are exquisite sensitivities in the U.S. and elsewhere to all sorts of categories of people who lay claim to consideration in diversity programs. However, the case for those who are not married can be difficult to make.
I was reminded of this when Kevin Markey, a member of the Community of Single People from the U.K., described his unsuccessful attempt to get some recognition for single and unmarried people in his workplace. I'll share his story, then explain why his "Diversity Champion" was anything but, and why the status of not being married deserves consideration as a serious diversity issue. Unmarried status is a diversity issue in the workplace, but it should also be an issue in many other arenas as well.
II. An Example of a Workplace That Prides Itself on Valuing Diversity, But Offered Only Dismissiveness Toward Unmarried Employees
Kevin Markey should have had an easy time having people hear him. His organization prides itself on the diversity of its membership and the seriousness with which it considers issues of diversity. His workplace has "Diversity Champions" who are "responsible for supporting and encouraging progress of our diversity agenda." The Champions focus on eight categories:

1. Age
2. Careers
3. Disability
4. Gender
5. Lesbian, gay, and bisexual
6. Race
7. Religion or belief
8. Transgender

So when Markey wrote a letter explaining the importance of valuing and recognizing people who are not married, and sent it to the Chief Executive and Diversity Advocate of his organization, he didn't expect them to dismiss him out of hand. The person responding on behalf of the Diversity Advocate explained that they chose the eight categories based on "evidence of the need to:

• Eliminate unlawful discrimination, harassment, and victimization.
• Advance equality of opportunity.
• Foster good relations between people who share a protected characteristic and those who don't."

The responding person added that the organization had conducted a survey that indicated no need for a Champion for people who are unmarried, single, or in civil partnerships.
III. Why Unmarried Status Is a Diversity Issue
Markey's diversity advocate found no evidence of a need to "eliminate unlawful discrimination" against unmarried people. At least as it applies to people in the U.S., this claim is the easiest to knock down. We all know that at the federal level alone, there are more than 1,000 ways in which only those who are legally married receive full benefits and protection. We also know, from systematic research, that there is housing discrimination against people who are not married, including unmarried couples. We also know that married men often have higher pay than single people—sometimes much more—even when the married and single men are equal in seniority and accomplishments. That sounds like a violation of "equality of opportunity" to me. If we had a more robust and far-reaching inquiry into the status of married and unmarried Americans across many domains, I think we would find even more evidence for unlawful discrimination.
The other "need" on the list is to "foster good relations between people who share a protected characteristic and those who don't." On the face of it, that might seem to be the silliest case to try to make. Do we really need to teach married and unmarried people how to relate to each other?
What I think we do need is a recognition of the value of the lives of people who are not married. We need to appreciate the people and the pursuits that make the lives of single people meaningful. Unmarried people in the workplace should face no greater demands to justify their lives than married people do.
For example:

• If your employer believes that the wishes of your married coworkers (or your coworkers with children, if you don't have any) deserve greater priority than your own with regard to leaving work early, choosing vacation times, or covering for the holidays, that's a diversity issue.
• If your employer believes it should allow your married coworkers special consideration when their spouse dies or becomes seriously ill, but cannot fathom why an unmarried person would want the same consideration for the most important person in their life, that's a diversity issue.
• If your employer wants to know why you want particular vacation times, or why you don't want particular travel assignments, but never asks your married coworkers to justify comparable requests, that's a diversity issue.
• If your employer believes that married men are more responsible than single men, and promotes and pays them more even when their work is no better than that of comparable single men, that's a diversity issue.

Those are some of the more obvious ways that unmarried status should count as a diversity issue. There are many others, relevant to the friendliness or hostility of a workplace. Micro-aggressions have gotten a bad name, amidst all the complaints about people being overly sensitive and too politically correct. Most of the whining, I suspect, comes from people who are not targets of the rude, insensitive, or just plain uninformed remarks.
Consider, for example, just a few of the kinds of workplace interactions that many unmarried Americans have told me (and others) that they have experienced:

• If you are a solo single person, do your coworkers assume that what you want, more than anything else, is to become unsingle? Do they try to "fix" you up, as if you were broken? Do they try to get you to entertain them with stories of your dating life or your sex life? Do they do these things even when your responses to previous instances should have made it clear that you don't like any of it?
• If you are in an unmarried couple, do your coworkers badger you with inquires about when you are going to make it official, even if you've discouraged such inquiries in the past?
• If you are a solo single, do you find that mostly couples-only topics of interest dominate informal conversations? Do your coworkers ask about the people and pursuits that are important to their married colleagues, but can't think of anything to ask you other than "are you seeing anyone" or "how did that date go on Friday night?"
• Have your coupled coworkers ever planned a social event in front of you, while making it clear that it is a couples-only event?

Maybe these examples sound pretty trivial, each as light as a feather. But a ton of feathers is just as crushing as a ton of sterner stuff. Interactions with unmarried people should not be surround stereotypes, myths, and misconceptions any more than interactions with other categories of people should. Stereotyping, stigmatizing, mocking, marginalizing, or ignoring people based on race, ethnicity, age, gender, sexual orientation, social class, religion, or disability should all be unacceptable. So should the same, as they applied to unmarried people. These are all diversity issues.
IV. What It Would Take to Advance Unmarried Status as a Diversity Issue
The U.K. diversity advocate mentioned three ways of addressing diversity issues: eliminating discrimination; advancing equality of opportunity; and fostering good relationships. Typically, representation is also a core diversity issue, and that matters, too. It matters not just as a matter of fundamental fairness, but also as a way of giving everyone the gift of deeper, clearer, and more expansive ways of thinking. A diverse workplace saves organizations from mental ruts.
For unmarried people—or people in any groups that are not the culturally dominant ones—to think about their lives in ways that standard scripts do not constrain, it helps to have resources dedicated to their lives. With regard to race and ethnicity, for instance, universities now often have entire programs of study devoted to people who are not European whites. The media has public intellectuals, such as Ta-Nehisi Coates, who will talk about his experiences in ways that people who do not share them never could.
But even numerical representation and cultural resources are not enough. Can students raise their hands in classrooms and safely make the points that Coates makes? What would happen if they tried to broach such issues among a diverse group of peers? On matters of race, though, we are further along than we are on matters of unmarried status. We still don't have much by way of scholarly research and writings on life outside of marriage—or not much that takes single life, rather than marriage, as its starting point and true focus. We don't have public intellectuals getting serious media attention, either. So in our classrooms and workplaces, and in all of the pathways and domains of our everyday lives, people who are not married still face dismissive treatment when they ask that their lives be taken seriously.

10 'Bad' Habits That Can Sometimes Be Good for You

Mark D. Griffiths Ph.D. In Excess

... in moderation, that is.

Posted Oct 13, 2015 

 All of us have bad habits. Occasionally, we feel guilty about them. But some bad habits—at least when carried out in moderation—might actually benefit our psychological or physical well-being. Most bad habits alter our mood state and reduce stress (at least in the very short-term) but tend to become less helpful, the more we engage in them. Some of these bad habits turn into addictions, with the short-term benefits outweighing the long-term costs.
But here are 10 common "flaws" that could be helpful:
1. Fidgeting: Helps burn calories.
While fidgeting might be annoying for individuals and those around them, it expends energy and burns calories. Fidgeting is one of a number of activities (along with walking, gardening, typing, tidying up, etc.) that are known as non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT). In basic terms, NEAT is any activity that is not eating, sleeping, or sporting exercise. A number of studies carried out by obesity expert James Levine at the Mayo Clinic have shown that individuals who fidget burn up about 350 kcal a day. This is because fidgeting speeds up an individual’s metabolism by stimulating neurochemicals in the body, thus increasing the ability to convert body fat into energy. So, if you are a compulsive foot tapper, an excessive thumb twiddler, or a restless doodler, remember: All of these activities burn calories.

Source: Konstantin Yolshin/Shutterstock

2. Chewing gum: Helps boost thinking and alertness.
Watching people chew gum is not a pretty sight, but if English football managers are anything to go by, chewing gum appears to be a stress relieving activity. In fact, there appear to be many cognitive benefits. In the book Senescence and Senescence-Related Disorders, Kin-ya Kubo and colleagues noted that chewing gum immediately before performing a cognitive task increases blood oxygen levels in the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus—important brain structures involved in learning and memory—thereby improving task performance. Kubo argues that chewing gum may be a simple, drug-free method of helping those with senile dementia and stress-related disorders often associated with cognitive dysfunction. Another study by Yoshiyuki Hirano and colleagues showed that chewing gum boosts thinking and alertness, and that reaction times among chewers were 10% faster than for non-chewers. The research team also reported that up to eight areas of the brain are affected by chewing—most notably, the areas concerning attention and movement. As Andy Smith of Cardiff University neatly summed up: “The effects of chewing on reaction time are profound. Perhaps football managers arrived at the idea of chewing gum by accident, but they seem to be on the right track.”
3. Playing video games: Helps relieve pain.
Many individuals who do not play video games view the activity as a potentially addictive waste of time. While excessive play may cause problems for a minority of individuals, there is much scientific evidence that playing video games can have beneficial effects. A number of studies have shown that children with cancer who play video games after chemotherapy take less pain-killing medication. Video games have also been used as a pain-relieving therapy for burns victims and individuals with back pain. Playing video games is an engaging, engrossing activity, distracting the player from anything else—what psychologists refer to as a "cognitive distractor task." Pain has a large psychological component; individuals experience less if they are engaged in an activity that consumes all of their cognitive mind space. There are also many studies showing that playing video games increases hand-eye coordination and reaction times, and that games can deliver educational learning benefits.
4. Eating snot: Helps strengthen the immune system (maybe).
What do you feel when you see someone picking their nose and then eating what they have found? Disgust? Contempt? Amusement? In 2008, Friedrich Bischinger, an Austrian lung specialist, claimed that it was good for you. He claimed that people who pick their noses were healthy, happier, and probably better in tune with their bodies than those who didn’t, and that eating the dry remains of what you pull out of your nose is a great way to strengthen the immune system. He explained that the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works like medicine. "People who pick their nose and eat it," he said, "get a natural boost to their immune system for free. I would recommend a new approach where children are encouraged to pick their nose. It is a completely natural response and medically a good idea as well.” (He went on to suggest that if individuals could do it privately.) This view is also shared by biochemist Scott Napper of the University of Saskatchewan. He theorized that hygiene improvement has led to an increase in allergies and autoimmune disorders and that eating snot may boost the immune system by ingesting small and harmless amounts of germs into the body. The same theory has also been applied to biting fingernails—again because the activity introduces germs directly into one’s orifices.
5. Daydreaming: Helps problem solving.
Daydreaming can occupy up to a third of our waking lives and is often viewed as a sign of laziness, inattentiveness, or procrastination. However, research has shown that the "executive network" in our brain is highly active when we daydream. A study by Kalina Christoff and colleagues, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found activity in numerous brain regions while daydreaming, including areas associated with complex problem solving. These regions were more active during a daydream than during routine tasks. It is believed that when an individual uses conscious thought they can become too rigid and limited in their thinking. The findings suggest that daydreaming is an important cognitive state in which individuals turn their attention from immediate tasks to unconsciously think about problems in their lives. "When you daydream," Christoff says, "you may not be achieving your immediate goal—say, reading a book or paying attention in class—but your mind may be taking that time to address more important questions in your life, such as advancing your career or personal relationships.” In addition, Eric Klinger of the University of Minnesota has argued that daydreaming also serves an evolutionary purpose: When individuals are engaged on one task, daydreaming can trigger reminders of other, concurrent goals so that they do not lose sight of them.
6. Swearing: Helps reduce pain and relieve work stress.
Although swearing has become increasingly commonplace, most people would still agree that it's a bad habit. However, research has shown that swearing can help alleviate pain. In an study led by Richard Stephens of Keele University (UK) and published in Neuroreport, results showed that individuals who swore (as compared to individuals that didn’t) could endure the pain of putting their hand in a bucket of ice-cold water nearly 50% longer (nearly two minutes for those that swore compared to 1:15 for those that said a neutral, non-swear word instead). Stephens thought of the idea for the study after accidentally hitting his thumb with a hammer while building a garden shed and realizing that simultaneous swearing appeared to help reduce the pain. The researchers speculated that swearing might trigger our natural "fight-or-flight" response by downplaying a weakness or threat in order to deal with it. However, there appears to be a caveat: Swearing may only be effective in helping reduce pain if it is a casual habit. Stephens cautioned that swearing is emotional language but if individuals overuse it, it loses its emotional attachment, and is less likely to help alleviate pain. Research published in the Leadership and Organization Development Journal by Yehuda Baruch of the University of East Anglia found that regular swearing expressed and reinforced solidarity among staff members. The acts of profanity enabled employees to express feelings such as frustration and develop social relationships.
7. Being messy: Helps boost creativity.
A messy work desk or bedroom is often perceived as a sign of being disorganized. However, recent research published in Psychological Science by Kathleen Vohs and colleagues at the University of Minnesota Carlson School of Management, suggests that being messy can boost creativity. Vohs and her team carried out a number of experiments for the paper, "Physical order produces healthy choices, generosity, and conventionality, whereas disorder produces creativity." In one experiment, 48 participants were assigned to either a messy or tidy room. Participants were asked to think up as many uses for ping pong balls as they could and to write them down. Independent judges then rated the participants’ answers for degree of creativity. Results showed that participants in both tidy and messy rooms produced the same number of ideas, but those generating ideas in the messy room were more creative. Those in the messy room were (on average) 28% more creative and five times more likely to produce “highly creative” ideas. Vohs concluded that messiness and creativity are strongly correlated, and that “while cleaning up certainly has its benefits, clean spaces might be too conventional to let inspiration flow.”
8. Having a lie-in: Helps reduce heart attacks and strokes.
While the old proverb, "The early bird catches the worm," might be true, the saying, "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy and wise," may not be. According to Mayuko Kadono of the Kyoto Prefectural University of Medicine, getting up too early in the morning may have serious health consequences. Kadono has led a number of studies on sleep and its relationship with health. In one study of 3,017 healthy adults, it was reported that individuals getting up before 5 a.m. and engaging in vigorous exercise have a 1.7 times greater risk of high blood pressure, and were twice as likely to develop cardiovascular disease, as those who got up two-to-three hours later. The number of hours slept did not make a difference, only the time of getting up. Kadono said the results were “contrary to the commonly held belief that early birds are in better health. We need to find what the causes of this are, and whether exercising after waking early is beneficial." A study by researchers at Stanford found that the most restorative sleep occurs between 2:00 a.m. and 6:30 a.m. More general research has found that getting enough sleep can help individuals’ reduce their stress and boost their memory. In short, it’s better to wake up when your body feels ready (i.e., aligning with your body’s natural circadian rhythm) rather than waking up because your alarm clock has gone off.
9. Gossiping: Helps friendships and relieves stress.
Gossiping is often perceived as malicious and untrustworthy behavior but most individuals appear to like it—particularly if it is about someone else's misfortunes. One reason we like to hear about other people’s problems is that it makes us feel better about ourselves. And there is growing psychological research that gossiping may actually have positive benefits: It is important in helping us bond with other people, promoting cooperation, friendship, and learning about cultural norms. These consequences of gossip make us feel good, helping us relieve stress, tension, and anxiety. In a recent study published in the Psychological Science by Matthew Feinberg of Stanford University and colleagues, it was reported that gossip and ostracism can have positive effects within group situations. According to Feinberg, "Groups that allow their members to gossip sustain cooperation and deter selfishness better than those that don't. And groups do even better if they can gossip and ostracize untrustworthy members. While both of these behaviors can be misused, [the] findings suggest that they also serve very important functions for groups and society.” Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar of Oxford notes that because language is principally used for the exchange of social information and that such topics are so overwhelmingly important, "Gossip is what makes human society as we know it possible."
10. Burping and farting: Help relieve bloating and stomach pain.
Both activities are a normal part of the body digestion process, both help release unwanted gas that builds up inside the stomach, and both are vital for good gastric health. Farting is particularly beneficial for relieving bloating; preventing oneself from breaking wind can be incredibly painful. Nick Read, a British gastroenterologist, warns, “If you don’t belch and the gas stays on the stomach, this can cause the valve that separates the gullet and the stomach to relax, allowing stomach acid to splash up into the gullet, triggering heartburn.” As for farting, "We evacuate wind for a reason—it forms in the bowel and we need to get rid of it. Holding it back can also trigger pain. A colleague used to call it Metropolitan Railway Syndrome—all these commuters suffered pain and bloating because they were too embarrassed to break wind on public transport.” All this leads to the conclusion that it’s the act of not burping or farting that should be considered bad habits. As I was often told by one of my aunts: “It’s better out than in.”

Can You Fall for Someone Over Their Texts?

Kira Asatryan The Art of Closeness

A fascinating new study reveals some new romantic wrinkles.

Posted Feb 08, 2016.

 In a previous post, I discussed the ways in which texting can get in the way of modern relationships. While texting is undoubtedly useful for maintaining relationships that are already established, I’ve always wondered: Does texting help or hurt the early progression of a relationship? Or, more to the point: Can people really get to know each other over texts?
I was interested to read a recent study by infographic maker tool Venngage— (link is external)a study that aimed to answer a very similar question: Can people fall in love through text conversation?
In the author’s words:

"Can you get to know someone through text conversation as quickly as you can get to know someone in person? How much of our feeling of closeness relies on seeing the other person’s face—their reactions, their mannerisms, their movements? And how much of our attraction to a person is reliant on looks?"

To address these questions, the company took 32 participants ranging in age from 21 to 34 and paired each one with a potential romantic match. Then, without having spoken or even exchanged pictures, the pairs began to communicate over the real-time communication tool, Slack.
Their conversations were guided by the famous "36 questions that lead to love" (link is external) that Dr. Arthur Aron developed in the 1990s. These questions, proven to act as “intimacy accelerators” in person, provided the basis for each pair’s 55-minute text conversation.
Did the 36 questions create quick closeness between two people over text, as they do in person? In Aron’s original study, 30% of participants reported feeling “the same level of closeness to their [question-asking] partner as they do to the closest person in their life." But in the Venngage study, only 16% reported feeling that way. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the 36 questions were less effective at sparking quick intimacy when discussed over text as opposed to in-person.
However, one finding from the study is quite surprising: While most participants in Venngage’s study said they still preferred in-person conversation over text, 50% said they found it easier to talk about personal things over text. Somehow, then, ease of conversation does not necessarily translate into closeness. As the author describes it:

“What I’m inferring from this is that while it may be easier to get into personal topics when you’re not facing your partner, most people would not want their interactions to stay strictly electronic.”

And more pointedly:

"[O]ur results show that text-only conversation actually acts as a barrier when attempting to reach accelerated closeness, despite making it easier for more reserved people to discuss personal topics.”

To me, this is the major take-away from the Venngage study: Intimate conversations may be easier over text, but they’re less fruitful. Texting may feel less scary in the moment than talking face-to-face (or even over the phone)—especially when you’re revealing something private. You can think very carefully about how you phrase things and avoid seeing the other person’s reaction, making personal revelations via text nearly painless.
But the painless nature of text may also be its biggest drawback, as it may be exactly the risk involved in revealing oneself in a real-life interaction that creates intimacy. Or as the old saying goes, “No risk, no reward.”

14 Lifestyle Changes That Make You Look Younger

Turn back the clock with easy changes to your everyday habits. 

 

Look younger now

by Jessica Migala
You can't stop time, you can turn back the clock to achieve more youthful-looking hair, hands, and skin. And you don't need to submit yourself to plastic surgery, buy expensive salon treatments, or stock a medicine cabinet full of lotions and potions, either. All you need to do is examine your everyday habits and make simple anti-aging tweaks to your routine.
 

Skip the heat styling

Youthful hair has bounce and shine, but using a flat iron, curling iron, or hair dryer can lead to dull, flat strands that add years to your overall appearance. "I’m seeing lots of damage and breakage from women using multiple heat styling tools," says Francesca J. Fusco, MD, assistant clinical professor of dermatology at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai.

Turn back the clock: Declare a two-day-a-week heat-free holiday where you give your locks a rest from heat styling tools, suggests Dr. Fusco says. Master the wet bun, let your hair air-dry, or skip washing your hair altogether and spritz on a dry shampoo if needed. 

Apply SPF every day

Dermatologists always preach about wearing sunscreen every single day to protect against skin cancer, but slathering on the SPF is also the most effective tool in your anti-aging arsenal. A 2013 study in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that people who applied SPF three or four days a week were less likely to suffer from skin aging compared to those who applied it at their discretion after a 4.5-year follow-up.

Turn back the clock: SPF 30 is the gold-standard dermatologists recommend. Apply it every day, rain or shine. And use more than you think you need—most people apply as little as one-quarter of the recommended dose, says the American Academy of Dermatology. Rule of thumb: use a shot-glass worth of sunscreen every time. 

Use lotion on your hands

The skin on the backs of your hands is very thin, which makes it prone to accelerated aging compared to the rest of your body. And when dry air saps moisture from skin, your hands look even older than they should. Using lotion helps; pick one that contains sunscreen, suggests Dr. Fusco: "It will greatly reduce sun damage, which appears as brown spots and wrinkles."

Turn back the clock: Rub an SPF 30 moisturizer onto the backs of your hands every morning.

Avoid foods that stain your teeth

White teeth are seen as a sign of good health and youthfulness, says Emanuel Layliev, a dentist at the New York Center for Cosmetic Dentistry. Dark, hot, sticky foods like barbecue sauce or soy sauce are some of the worst stain-causing culprits, he says. Red wine, coffee, and cola are also notorious tooth-stainers.

Turn back the clock: Teeth-saving swaps are easy—and can be delicious. Instead of using barbecue sauce on your chicken breast, for example, top it with a fruity mango salsa or fresh herbs. Skip the dark soda in favor of seltzer (you shouldn't be drinking soda anyway, even diet.
 

Paint your nails

The part of your body that often reveals your real age isn't your face—it's your hands, according to a study from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. One trick for fooling others into thinking you're younger than you really are: wear nail polish. Along with wearing jewelry, polish offers a welcome distraction from imperfections, the study says.

Turn back the clock: For an anti-aging mani, go for jewel-toned hues (think rich purples and reds), which offer a burst of color without being too intense, says Lynette Cenée, a StyleSeat professional in Beverly Hills, CA. She likes the new Nordic collection by OPI ($10; macys.com.)
 

Exercise regularly

"Exercise improves healthy circulation, which allows skin to look its best," says Dr. Fusco. (Bonus: it’ll also improve circulation to reduce undereye bags.) Plus, a new study from McMaster University in Canada found that exercise may reverse skin aging. Besides, when you’re in shape, you naturally look younger.

Turn back the clock: Count it as one more reason to clock your 30 minutes of exercise every day. Follow these steps to make exercise a lasting habit.
 

Watch your sodium intake

Eating salty foods can make you retain water, resulting in a puffy look—especially in the area below the eyes.

Turn back the clock: Banish the bloat by searching for hidden sources of sodium in your diet. Salt lurks everywhere—bread, cereal, condiments, sauces, deli meats, and even some sweet baked goods are loaded with it.
 

Keep your smartphone addiction under control

Over time, keeping your head down when you’re texting or scrolling through Facebook promotes wrinkles that ring your neck, notes Dr. Fusco. Any movement you repeat over and over eventually etches in lines permanently.

Turn back the clock: Think about where you text most—in your office, on your couch—and hang photos (of family, friends, places you’ve been) nearby at eye-level and use those as a reminder to keep your head up while using your phone.
 

Rinse with mouthwash daily

If you’re already in a daily mouthwash habit, you’re on the right track. These bacteria-killing rinses flush away particles on and between teeth, while also cleaning gums, says Dr. Layliev. The result: cleaner teeth free of yellowing and pinker gums (as opposed to red, a sign of gum disease).

Turn back the clock: Rinse with an alcohol-free and artificial dye-free mouthwash, like The Natural Dentist Healthy Teeth and Gums Anti-Cavity Fluoride Rinse ($12; walmart.com).
 

Eat high-protein foods

When you want hair that looks healthy, you’ve got to start at the basics, and that means eating an adequate amount of protein to maintain normal hair production, says Kevin Pinski, MD, a dermatologist at Pinski Dermatology & Cosmetic Surgery in Chicago. The nutrient serves as the building block of strong hair.

Turn back the clock: Most women should eat about 46 grams of protein a day (more if you're pregnant, breastfeeding, or a competitive athlete). For reference, a 3-ounce serving of salmon supplies 22 grams, while a glass of low-fat milk contains 8 grams.
 

Take care of wet hair

If you've laid off the heat styling and pumped up your protein intake but still are dealing with dull, thin hair, then your post-shower habits may be to blame. Brushing wet hair—when strands are at their weakest—can cause breakage that leads to flyaways and unruly strands.

Turn back the clock: Never brush wet hair. When you get out of the shower, use a wide-toothed comb with blunt tips, says Dr. Pinski.
 

Eat your greens

Greens are nature’s toothbrushes. "Fiber-rich vegetables like spinach, lettuce, and broccoli help naturally clean teeth," says Dr. Layliev. Their fiber can prevent plaque from sticking to enamel. (Of course, you still have to brush every morning and night and floss daily, he says.) Another bonus: a diet brimming with veggies perks up your complexion, shows a study in PLOS One. People who ate about three servings of carotenoid-packed produce—found in dark leafy greens and broccoli—were perceived as having a healthier and more attractive skin tone.

Turn back the clock: Just as the USDA suggests, aim to fill half your plate with vegetables. That will help you get the 2.5 cups of vegetables they recommend women younger than 50 eat per day.

 

Handle your stress head-on

Stress not only makes you freak out on the inside—it shows on the outside. It shores up inflammatory processes in skin that can exacerbate conditions like psoriasis, acne, and eczema, says a report in the journal Seminars in Cutaneous Medicine and Surgery.

Turn back the clock: Social support plays a huge role in stress levels, the researchers note, so make sure you’re meeting up with friends. Also consider relaxation techniques like breathing exercises or journal writing.
 

Get enough sleep

"During deep sleep, the body produces greater quantities of estrogen and progesterone," says Dr. Pinski. These boost your skin’s natural repair mechanisms, so you look more radiant when you wake up. "The hormones also help prevent acne," he says.

Turn back the clock: If you stay up watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory (even though you’ve already seen the episodes) because you’re avoiding going to bed, set a strict TV curfew. Try more soothing bedtime rituals that help you unwind mentally, like drink a mug of hot milk and honey, suggests Dr. Pinski.

Instantly Improve Your Day With These Happiness Hacks

February 22, 2016 | By News & Views.

You slept through your alarm. You’re PMSing big time. Unfortunately, crawling back under the covers isn’t a viable bad-mood solution. But there are a number of minimal-effort fixes to help you face the day with a smile (a false one counts, too). Use these strategies to rewire a lousy mood—or even amp up a good one.

Go for a run

Post-jog euphoria extends beyond the release of endorphins; recent animal research suggests that running leads to a rush of endocannabinoids, chemicals in the brain linked to pleasure. You could feel perked up within five minutes of finishing a run. Research also shows that running may help alleviate symptoms of depression.

Crack a grin

Even if it’s totally fake. Research out of Clark University in Worcester, Mass., revealed that smiling appears to activate the happiness centers of the brain. A different study found that smiling during a tense moment may help reduce your body’s stress response, whether or not you actually feel happy.

Take a bath or shower

It’s an old natural health remedy known as hydrotherapy. A review published last year in the North American Journal of Medical Sciences suggests that 10 minutes of whirlpool bathing increases feelings of well-being and decreases anxiety, while cold showers may have an antidepressive effect.

Eat chocolate

The sweet snack contains the compound phenylethylamine, as well as caffeine, both of which are stimulants with mood-enhancing abilities. Cocoa also boosts levels of serotonin—nicknamed the “happy hormone”—in the brain. Stick to a square (or two) of dark chocolate; it typically packs more antioxidants and less sugar than milk chocolate.

Hug or high-five a pal

Touching releases oxytocin (the love hormone) and lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can make you feel more at ease.

5 Weird Ways Ovulation Can Affect Your Body

July 13, 2015 | By Amanda MacMillan

Photo: Getty Images

Once a month, women of reproductive age go through ovulation—the process in which an egg is released from an ovary into the fallopian tubes, which can then be fertilized by sperm. At the same time, our hormones begin to fluctuate and our brain chemistry shifts, which may be an attempt to help the baby-making along. These changes are thought to increase chances of conception, with research in recent years revealing that ovulation may affect your brain, body, and behavior in surprising ways.
“Hormones affect the entire body, not just the reproductive organs, so it makes sense that our thinking, our behavior, even our appearance can change throughout our cycles,” says Carol Gnatuk, MD, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Penn State Milton S. Hershey Medical Center. Here are some of the more surprising, even mysterious, symptoms you may notice during your most fertile time of the month.
RELATED: What’s a Normal Period? 8 Questions, Answered

Your face may get (ever so slightly) redder

First, a new study published in the journal PLoS One found that women’s faces become slightly more flushed in the days leading up to and during ovulation. This makes sense, Dr. Gnatuk says, since hormones affect blood flow throughout the body. “Higher estrogen levels during ovulation can cause blood vessels to dilate, and when vessels dilate close to the skin you get more of a glow,” she says.
The study authors had assumed this affect might be noticeable to men, and might begin to solve the mystery of how and why men seem to find women who are ovulating more sexually attractive. But the slight increase in redness was only detectable via very sensitive cameras—not to the naked eye, which means the jury’s still out.
RELATED: 4 Ways to Pamper Your Sensitive Skin

You might feel more frisky (and express it in interesting ways)

Evolutionarily, it makes sense that a woman’s libido goes up during the time of the month she’s most fertile. But ovulating women don’t just consciously think more about sex; it’s on their mind in sneakier ways as well. According to a 2010 study in the Journal of Consumer Research, during ovulation women may be more likely to unconsciously buy and wear sexier clothing.
Research has also suggested that women dream more about sex in the first half of the menstrual cycle, when the body is gearing up for ovulation, compared to the second half, when your body prepares for your period. One small study found women may even have more erotic interpretations of abstract artwork (think Georgia O’Keeffe flower paintings) when they’re ovulating versus later in their menstrual cycles.
“Libido isn’t totally driven by hormones—if it were, sex would only be about when and not where or with who,” Dr. Gnatuk says. “But certainly, estrogen and testosterone, both of which are higher during ovulation, can increase a woman’s desire.”
RELATED: Low Libido? 11 Drugs That Affect Your Sex Drive

You may be more attracted to a certain type of guy

Not only might you feel more “in the mood” during ovulation, but you may also be more interested in some guys over others. Studies have shown that women tend to prefer men with sterotypically masculine traits and pay more attention to traditionally attractive guys during fertile times of the month, especially if their current partners lack manly facial features, like a square jaw.
“When we’re in reproductive mode, we look for traits that we associate with good health,” Dr. Gnatuk explains—and that includes healthy testosterone levels, she says, which suggest that a man is well able to produce and protect offspring.
Another 2011 study from the journal Psychological Science suggests women are better at judging men’s sexual orientation when they are ovulating, perhaps since, from an evolutionary perspective, there’s no sense in going after a guy who isn’t interested.
RELATED: The Hilarious Way Sofia Vergara Stays Motivated to Work Out

Your senses might seem heightened

Ovulating women seem to be better able to detect musky odors and male pheromones than those taking oral contraceptives (which prevent ovulation), according to a small 2013 study in the journal Hormones and Behavior; another study that same year found that women may have a heightened sense of smell in general during ovulation than during other times of the month.
You may even be better at detecting potential threats to yourself and your future offspring: A preliminary 2012 study by Kyoto University researchers found that women in the luteal phase of their cycles (which begins with ovulation) were better at finding snakes hidden in photographs of flowers.
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You could avoid male relatives

And finally, here’s perhaps one of the most bizarre side effects of ovulation found in the research: According to a 2010 UCLA study, women avoid talking to their fathers on the phone during their most fertile times of the month. (Those who were ovulating or about to ovulate were half as likely to chat with Dad, on average.)
The researchers speculated that historically, it was in a woman’s (and her offspring’s) best interest to avoid male relatives—and potentially incestuous couplings—while they were fertile. Dr. Gnatuk has an alternate interpretation: “You might also argue that you don’t want to talk to Dad right now because he always told you you couldn’t go out with guys, and now’s the time you want to do that.”
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