How to Solve 9 Sleep Problems by Sally Wadyka

Expert advice for anyone who tosses and turns at night.

The Night Waker

Her challenge: After a stressful breakup two years ago, Meredith Crowell, 40, a single real estate property manager and yoga instructor from Boulder, Colorado, would wake up in the middle of the night filled with sadness and anxiety. But even after she felt better emotionally, the sleep troubles continued. Although she typically falls asleep easily around 10:30 p.m., she is wide awake three or four hours later. She falls back into a fitful sleep, then gets up around 6 a.m. to begin her day. "I never wake feeling well rested, because it feels like I don't get more than about four hours of truly deep sleep," she says. To no avail, Meredith has tried myriad remedies―warm baths, hot milk, a glass of wine before bed, no food before bed, relaxation techniques, and prescription and homeopathic medicines. She took a prescription medication, but that didn't give her more than four hours of sleep. She even tried taking the medication when she woke in the middle of the night, but that left her too groggy in the morning.

Expert advice: "The good news is that Meredith's insomnia seems to have a clear precipitant―the breakup," says sleep-medicine specialist David Neubauer, M.D., a sleep-medicine specialist and an associate director of the Johns Hopkins Sleep Disorders Center, in Baltimore. Neubauer calls her situation "conditioned arousal," which, he says, is common. "Her sleep problems may have been initially caused by an external trigger, but over time the sleep problems become self-propagating. Eventually she became conditioned to become anxious about her sleep." Some things that might help:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is often used in cases like this, and the experts agree that it could help Meredith. "CBT aims to stop the behaviors that are perpetuating the insomnia," says Susie Esthera, M.D., a specialist in sleep-disorder medicine at Charlotte Eye, Ear, Nose, and Throat Associates, in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the president-elect of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Typically, a therapist will work with a patient for four to eight weeks―in sessions that last from 30 minutes to two hours―to assess, diagnose, and treat the underlying problem, such as relationship worries. The therapist will teach the patient things like progressive-relaxation techniques and point out actions that are getting in the way of deep sleep, such as rehashing conversations that occurred earlier in the day. (To find a therapist, go to the website of the National Association of Cognitive Behavioral Therapists, at nacbt.org.)
   
• Acupuncture. "Acupuncture may help reduce her anxiety and induce deeper sleep," says Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., the director of sleep programs at the Miraval Resort, in Tucson.
   
• Avoiding wine. "There is a notion that alcohol will help you sleep," says Neubauer. "And while it often does help you fall asleep quicker, your sleep will be more disrupted."
   
• Accepting some awakenings. The experts stress that nighttime awakenings are perfectly normal―much more normal, in fact, than the elusive solid eight hours people think they should be getting. Most people will roll over and go back to sleep, but those with insomnia become conditioned to feel anxious when they awake during the night. "You need to accept that you will arouse some, so reassure yourself in the middle of the night that nothing catastrophic will happen if you are awake for a while," says Esther. To that end, she suggests keeping the glaring electric clock off the bedside table. "Clock watching will only increase your anxiety about being awake," Esther says.

  The Early Bird

  Her challenge: Brooke Brown, 38, is a married prekindergarten teacher with three children from Wellesley, Massachusetts. Given her round-the-clock proximity to small children (her own are ages four, seven, and nine), Brooke is understandably exhausted by the end of the day. So much so that she often falls sound asleep as early as 7 p.m. But she is routinely awakened around 2 a.m.―by a child, her husband snoring, or a need to use the bathroom―and never manages to fall back asleep. She lies in bed with her brain in high gear, eventually giving up on sleep and getting out of bed at 5 a.m. to get a jump on her day.
  
  Expert advice: “She is spending too much time in bed,” says sleep-disorders specialist Susie Esther. Brooke should establish a standard waking time (and stick to it seven days a week), then work backward to figure out what her bedtime should be. So if she wants to get up at 5 a.m., she should plan to be asleep by about 10 p.m.―not 7 p.m. “She should gradually adjust her bedtime so that she is able to stay awake later, and that will help her body adapt to the new schedule,” says Esther. To quell Brooke’s middle-of-the-night worrying, Esther suggests that, instead of lying in bed, she get up and do something relaxing, like having a cup of decaffeinated herbal tea. “Staying in bed and trying to sleep will just wake you up more,” says Esther. “Sleep isn’t something you can ‘try’ to do.”

  The Chronic Insomniac

  Her challenge: Kristy Lewis, 29, a married homemaker and photographer from Hampton, Virginia, can't remember a time when she didn't have trouble sleeping. "I thought it was normal to take an hour or longer to fall asleep, but in 2004 my doctor diagnosed me with insomnia," she says. She also wakes several times during the night and remains awake for anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. She also suffers from restless legs syndrome and frequently talks in her sleep. Sleep medications help to some degree but leave her feeling drowsy the next day. She has also tried practicing yoga, doing vigorous exercise earlier in the day, avoiding caffeine, and reading or writing in a journal before bed.
  
  Expert advice: "I would first want to investigate her restless legs problem," says sleep-medicine specialist David Neubauer. Restless legs syndrome, which has recently been taken more seriously by doctors, can sometimes be caused by anemia. If blood tests show that Kristy has anemia, iron supplementation could help. If anemia is not the cause, she could ask her doctor about medications like Mirapex and Requip, which are often prescribed for restless legs syndrome. Otherwise, Kristy might consider:
  

  • Pay even more attention to her evening routine and her sleep environment. "Good sleep habits don't necessarily solve sleep problems, but they do create a foundation for improved sleep," says Neubauer. Good habits include things such as keeping the bedroom cool and dark, using a fan or a white-noise machine to create a blanket of sound, and using the bed exclusively as a place for sleeping―and not for watching television, for example.
     
  • Making an appointment at a sleep clinic, which can be a smart step for people with a long history of sleep issues. Most often this involves office visits (which will not necessarily be overnight observations), during which the patient will undergo a physical examination and work with a doctor to assess and diagnose the cause of the sleep problems. (For more information or to locate a sleep specialist near you, go to the website of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, at aasmnet.org.)

    The Hormone Sufferer

    Her challenge: Patty Magovern, 53, a married human-resources director from Wall, New Jersey, never had trouble sleeping―that is, until menopause hit last year. “My whole life, I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and sleep through the night,” she says, “but those days are long gone.” Now, no matter what time she goes to bed, she has difficulty falling asleep and, like clockwork, awakens at 1 a.m. For the rest of the night, she tosses and turns before finally getting up at 6:30 a.m. Taking over-the-counter or prescription medications helps but leaves her feeling logy in the morning rather than refreshed. She doesn’t want to take hormone-replacement therapy to treat her menopause symptoms, including the hot flashes that sometimes disrupt her sleep, because she worries about the risks.
    
    Expert advice: There is some evidence that hormonal changes can have an effect on sleep. If hot flashes are a big issue, sleep-medicine specialist David Neubauer, points to recent studies that have shown that sleeping in a cooler-than-normal room can help prevent them. More advice:
  • Use caution regarding over-the-counter sleep medications, since they contain some type of antihistamine, which can stay in the body for a long time. “It takes about 18 hours for your body to clear out 50 percent of the active drug. For most of your waking hours, it will still be in your system, making you drowsy,” says psychologist Rubin Naiman.
     
  • Patty might also benefit from taking 0.3 milligram of an over-the-counter melatonin supplement about 20 minutes before bedtime since the production of melatonin (a naturally produced hormone that helps regulate circadian rhythms) drops off as we age.
     
  • Go for a checkup. “Around the time a woman reaches menopause, other risk factors may emerge, such as sleep apnea,” Neubauer says. Patty should consider that new medications she may be on could also be disrupting her sleep.

5 Reasons to Spend More Time Outside—Even When It’s Cold By Abigail Wise

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. — Albert Einstein 
Mother Nature provides serious benefits to our bodies and minds—even when the temperatures drop. So bundle up, and don’t let snow, ice or arctic chills keep you indoors.

A Walk Outside Can Boost Creativity and Concentration

Studies show that a stroll outdoors can actually improve brain function and mental focus. Walking not only results in increased physical activity, it also promotes the free flow of ideas, according to Stanford University researchers.
Another study by psychologists from the University of Utah and University of Kansas​ found that backpackers scored 50 percent higher on creativity tests after spending four full days in nature without any electronics. “Burying yourself in front of a computer 24/7 may have costs that can be remediated by taking a hike in nature,” co-author David Strayer said in a statement.
Research also suggests that time outside can improve focus. Children with ADHD are likely to score higher on concentration tests after time outdoors. Those children who strolled through a park saw a greater increase in focus than those who walked through a residential neighborhood or urban area.

Going Outdoors Can Improve Your Mood

It’s no secret that winter can bring on the blues. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is the cause of reoccurring depression in 10 to 20 percent of women in the U.S. Symptoms of SAD can include anxiety, exhaustion, and overwhelming sadness. Researchers believe SAD is a result of shorter days in the winter, and the fact that there is less natural light. The cold can also keep even regular exercisers indoors, reducing their sun exposure. One quick and easy treatment for SAD: more time outside (even when it’s chilly or cloudy), according to the Mayo Clinic.

More Outdoor Time Means More Vitamin D

In addition to easing SAD symptoms, time spent in natural light gives our bodies a chance to soak up vital rays. Vitamin D helps ward off heart attacks, and may even improve conditions including osteoporosis and some types of cancer. Although we can obtain vitamin D from foods like salmon and cheese, we get 80 to 90 percent of it from the sun. But don’t forget to smear on some SPF if you’re going to be outside for longer than a few minutes. Just because it’s winter doesn’t mean the sun won’t damage your skin.

The Outdoors Can Recharge Your Exercise Routine

Working up the motivation to exercise outside is trickier when it’s windy, snowy, or just plain cold. But being outside gives runners a better workout, burns more calories for cyclists, and makes physical activity more enjoyable overall, according to The New York Times. That means enduring the elements to jog on a frosty day may actually help us relish our workouts.
“The number one best part of going outside during winter is the solitude and space,” says Sarah Knapp, founder of OutdoorFest, a New York-based organization that encourages city dwellers to go outdoors. “The trails are significantly less crowded, a layer of snow quiets the world down, and when the trees lose their leaves, views are more expansive."

Banish a Bad Mood in 15 Minutes by Lisa Ann Smith

Pull yourself out of a funk, pronto, with these 3 surprisingly simple steps.

Decode Your Mood

Ask yourself these key questions to figure out what’s wrong.

• What’s really bugging me? You’re irritable and sad, but you’re not sure why. “Think about what happened earlier in the day or in the week,” says Larina Kase, author of Anxious 9 to 5: How to Beat Worry, Stop Second Guessing Yourself, and Work with Confidence (New Harbinger, $15, barnesandnoble.com). “Keep going back until you hit on the most upsetting thing, something that resonates with you.” This will help you address the underlying problem rather than just focusing on the latest snafu in your life.
   
• Am I avoiding something? It’s easier to pin your bad mood on stalled traffic than on, say, your stalled romantic life. If you still don’t feel that you’ve arrived at the root problem, ask yourself if there’s something big going on that you’re unwilling to address. Is there someone―your new love, for instance, or your best friend―whom you’re reluctant to show anger toward? Is there a nagging problem that has been building for months that you’ve been hoping would simply go away? Merely acknowledging the bigger issue will take some pressure off.
   
• Could it be more than one thing? Say you had a bad fight with your sister. It might be a simple case of cause and effect: You argued, and now you’re angry. But the fight might have been aggravated by a problem you’re dealing with at work or compounded by the fact that your father is sick. In those instances, you might be angry but also feel sad or hopeless. It’s common to have multiple emotions cropping up at the same time. When you have two or more pressing problems bringing you down, try to address them one by one.

Calm Down

Start by taking a few deep breaths to get your emotions under control. Then choose one or more of the following techniques to help clear your mind.

 

• Focus on breathing. Take 10 deep breaths. Breathing may help restore the balance between the parasympathetic (or restorative) and sympathetic (fight-or-flight) nervous systems, buffering your body’s natural reaction to stressful situations, says Brian Knutson, an assistant professor of psychology and neuroscience at Stanford University.
   
• Make a pie chart. Draw a circle and create slices of a pie chart to represent all the things that are upsetting you, suggests Kase. Include everything you can think of, even if it’s as mundane as the nonstop rain outside. The act of presenting your concerns visually clarifies things, she says, making the problems easier to identify and therefore to manage.
   
• Find a quiet place. “Ideally, go someplace where you can have privacy to shut down the stimulation to your brain,” says Pierce Howard, a cognitive psychologist in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the author of The Owner's Manual for the Brain. ($30, amazon.com). If you’re at a busy place, like your office or a restaurant, he suggests, head to the bathroom and take a few minutes for yourself. If you’re at home, go to your bedroom or a place that feels comforting.
   
• Distract yourself. Read a favorite funny website, play with your dog, fold laundry, or wash dishes for a few minutes. “Diversions allow your emotions to calm down,” says Peter Ubel, a professor of medicine and psychology at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. “And because your brain keeps processing the problem even when you’re not consciously thinking about it, you’ll be better able to deal with the issue once you return to it.”
   
• Get some exercise. If possible, go out for a brisk walk, or do some yoga poses. “Just 10 minutes of an active and distracting activity breaks the flow of rumination and lifts

  Create a Strategy

  The tips below will help you fix the situation that caused your bad mood. Do all three in sequence. If you’re still in a funk, consider making an appointment with a therapist.
  
  

  • Talk to a problem-solver. “People often think they should be able to handle problems on their own, and they don’t want to burden others,” says Kase. “But it’s easier to strategize with support.” Discuss things you can do to feel better as well as fix the problem.
     
  • Make a list. It should include things that will make you feel better, like sending flowers to your husband, calling Dad’s doctor to discuss his progress, or going to the gym at lunchtime. “Lists force you to structure your concerns and help you move into problem-solving mode,” says Nolen-Hoeksema. Number the items in the order that you want to accomplish them.
     
  • Visualize your ideal. Take a few minutes to close your eyes and picture what you want in the moment, as if it’s actually happening. This visualization technique is “basically a form of rehearsal,” says Howard. For instance, after you and your sister argue, imagine the two of you having a great time over dinner at your favorite restaurant. The memories of the fight will be replaced by a positive picture of harmony and fun.
  people’s moods,” says Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, a professor of psychology at Yale University and the author of Eating, Drinking, Overthinking ($16, amazon.com). “This leads them to think more clearly.”
  
• Blow off steam. Call a patient friend. Be sure to tell her you’re not trying to fix anything―you just want a listener. “Talking through your concerns makes them seem more manageable,” says Kase. “But once you’ve vented, it’s important to let it go.”

花好月圆/Cinderella’s Dream

自从婆婆得急病去世后，美丽的心情一直坏的不得了。

美丽原以为健壮的婆婆离死总还有一大段距离。

虽然美丽晓得生老病死是人生必经的循环，但美丽从没想到至亲的婆婆会这么快离开她。

约好婆婆要看着美丽长大毕业成家生儿育女，如今美丽长大毕业了，学以致用的在一家私人公司当会计师，真正一步一步朝向灿烂的人生迈进。

突然间婆婆就这样撒手离尘了。

美丽只记的婆婆那天晚上睡到半夜，捂着胸口拍打美丽的房门，大叫：“胸口痛。”

美丽来不及换衣服就扶着婆婆飞车赶到医院。

然后一连串的办手续，填表格再后来就看见医生严肃的脸孔告诉她：“汪女士去世了。”

美丽震惊过度，自那时刻起一直堕在另一个空间，只觉的头重脚轻，似踩在云里脚不着地。

美丽忘了哭泣，只是抱着婆婆一直喊：“婆婆，醒醒！”

旁边的护士告诉她婆婆不会再醒来了，美丽苍白的脸盯着护士良久，哭不出来，因为她根本不相信。

美丽自五岁父母不幸车祸丧生后，就一直与婆婆相依为命。

婆婆是她的至亲至爱，美丽犹记得当年双亲去世后，每一个晚上婆婆总是在临睡前紧紧拥抱美丽入眠。

婆孙俩的感情一直是那么亲密，美丽连大学都选择在本地念就是因为舍不得亦是双亲的婆婆。

美丽最后拨了电话给好友幸蒂。

幸好在幸蒂与大卫的帮忙下，美丽安排婆婆的丧事

几晚的不眠不休，等婆婆下葬后，美丽精疲力尽。

坐在还是依旧的四房一厅老房子里，美丽不知所措。

如今只身一人的美丽该怎么办？

美丽望着镜中的自己，自己张罗一切的日子，被搞老了。

头发发黄枯燥，身上套着一件运动衣，美丽觉得自己至少老了十年。

公司放了美丽两星期的假，美丽足不出户，守着一间房子，饿了就吃厨房里婆婆买的干粮。

幸蒂、大卫、几同事们到访，对着伤心的美丽除了安慰，根本不能作什么。

伤心其实是一个人的事，未经那种切肤之痛的人实在不能明白所谓刻苦铭心的痛楚。

等到美丽重新整装上班时，同事们都特别对她友爱，毕竟可怜的美丽现在真的无依无靠了。

幸蒂的电话一早就响起：“美丽不准推辞，今晚来我家吃饭。”

下班后美丽直接上幸蒂家。

“美丽快进来。”幸蒂又递茶、糕点、水果。

幸蒂与大卫这对夫妇已换好便服在厨房大展手艺。

晚饭时间，一上桌，美丽这才醒觉已是多久了她没有正式的吃一顿三菜一汤的正餐。

门铃这时候响起来。

“谁？”美丽问。

大卫站起来笑答：“是我的一位老同学，刚从KL回来。”

他去开门，一个高大年轻男人走进来。

大卫介绍一个名字，美丽胡乱的朝他方向点点头，坐在一边不出声。

一顿晚饭，气氛还过得去。

美丽因为饿，又因为实在是几天都无白饭下肚，所以特别吃了两大碗。

丧失至亲的悲伤仍在美丽那纤瘦的身子里，她有点心不在焉，精神并不集中。

末了再吃水果喝咖啡，四人消磨至晚上十时就各自打道回府。

整晚美丽话并不多，方倒是大卫和他的老同学话题不断。

数日后，幸蒂打电话来问：“你觉得文生怎么样？”

美丽丈金刚模不到脑：“谁，谁怎么样？”

“文生，大卫的同学，那天与你一同吃晚饭的男人，你忘了？”

“我从来没有记得过他。”美丽不以为然。

“明天我们一起出去吃晚饭。”

“幸蒂我心情不好，那里都不想去。”

“不想去也得吃饭呀，你看你天天泡面饼干，吃得又枯又黄又瘦，似个难民。”

美丽泄气沮丧。

因为她所需要的并不是一顿晚饭能够解决的。

美丽需要一个能让她停泊的港湾。

尽管案头的工作堆的高过头，美丽作不下去。

美丽再婆婆去世的两个月后，决定向公司再拿一个月假期，出门旅行散心去。

美丽不必再牵挂着家里的婆婆无人作伴，潇洒的她在外竟一通电话都没有拨回，连幸蒂都免了。

旅行回来从新振作的美丽，风采依旧，只是眉头一样深锁、

那天下班，时间仍早，美丽逛百货商店。

购了日常用品，美丽提着大包小包，再经过P商行时，与迎面而来男士碰个正着。

美丽的东西洒满地，她连声说：“对不起。”心里却嘀咕对方走路不带眼。

对方却同时也道：“对不起。”并且立刻蹲下帮她取东西。

美丽与他面对面，只觉的他面熟却不极的他叫什么名字在那里见过面。

尴尬之际只听对方说：“美丽，实在对不起，我叫文生，在大卫家见过面。”

美丽总算对他有了印象。

文生问：“有空赏脸吃顿饭赔不是吗？

对方如此大方，美丽再拒绝就显的小气，只好答应：“该由我来请客赔不是才对。”

文生替美丽挽起大包小包往邻近餐走去。

到了餐厅，文生按置了美丽的包包又转来替美丽拉椅子，叫茶水食物。

美丽被文生服侍的妥妥贴贴，第一次被人如此服侍，既然感觉极佳。

文生问：“度假后，心情好点了吧？”

“现在总算慢慢习惯了，只是你怎么又知道我度假去了呢？”美丽突然想起幸蒂问她觉得文生怎么样。

坦白说，第一次在大卫家里见过你以后，我曾经向幸蒂打听过你，当时还在极度哀伤中的你一句话都不想说，给我的印象是骄傲，极之骄傲。“

文生接着说：“到后来我自幸蒂处得知原来那天晚上那个骄傲的女郎是在极度哀伤中，我巴不得能向你伸出手，保证这一切都会过去，因为我也曾经经历过极痛的创伤。”

美丽：“的确，没有经过痛的人根本不知道那种悲伤不是时间可以冲淡的，只有慢慢跟着时间习惯下来。习惯后就得起来重新做人，继续前面的道路。”

文生：“看来往后，我们真需要彼此共勉之了。”

自那晚起，文生开始公开的约会美丽。

当一个男人肯花时间追求女人时，那就证明他的确对她发生了兴趣。

只是美丽仍迟疑，不知道是他吗？

美丽致电幸蒂反问：“你觉得文生如何？”

“文生无残无疾是最佳人选。”

“可是我就是不知道该不该试一试，我一直向往一个可以把我自困境中打救出来白马王子。”

“醒醒吧美丽！还在做梦哩，天下象文生这样的人早已被例入受保护的动物Protected animal了！”

美丽：“可是………”

“如果你有两个理由不接受文生的追求，你就可以放弃他。”

“…………………”

“好，无话可说，that’s mean 没有理由了，好好珍惜机会吧，一个伴侣其实不需要穿着白华服骑着白马来打救你。许多时候，爱一个人并不能改变你现在的状况，但是那个人却能改变你的心境，难处还在，但你已懂的如何处之泰然。”

“美丽加油吧，文生追定你了，只等你放开怀抱接受他。” 幸蒂继续。

听过幸的忠言，美丽开始对文生的态度大大的改变。

美丽开始不拒绝文生，什至开始主动提出约会。

美丽与文生渡过了一段快乐的日子，虽然还是在老地方，困境仍在。

但现在那几棵林立的椰子树对她来讲都变的诗情画意。

美丽与文生天天见面，许多时候美丽与文生各做各的事，美丽照样看她喜欢的电视节目，文生躺在沙发上看最新的国家地理杂志。

时间到了，他们各自回家，虽然他们彼此在离去后会越越想念对方。

美丽第一次在异性面前显的如此自在。

日子依旧，但美丽踏实多了，眉头之接在无形中打开了。

当爱情成熟时，文生向美丽求婚。

两人在浪漫的餐厅里吃饭，文生非常自然的说：“我们结婚吧。”

美丽不经思索的点头道：“好啊。”

没有浪漫的情节和道具，两人却觉的温馨甜蜜。

从陌路到相识到相恋到相爱到结婚，两人都保持低调。

美丽连婚纱都省了，注册后请大卫和幸蒂吃一顿饭，两人旅行去了。

美丽依然保持着她与婆婆同住的那间老房子。

只是现在此间房子成了美丽的暂居之所。

美丽结婚后就一直有那种感觉，她与文生将会相爱到老。

病从口入

很小时候一家人与婆婆同住。

记得曾经吃过婆婆栽种的一种果子，家人都叫仙桃。

小小一颗果子，好像小粒苹果那样的大小。

等到果子成熟时，是微软的深黄色。

削掉簿皮，露出果肉。

切一半，中间会有一大颗的深巧克力色种子。

果肉粉粉的，吃起来有点像吃这里著名的山榴裢那样。

这种罕见的果子，几十年都没有吃了。

一个月前在台湾，就曾买了三粒未成熟的带回来。

包上报纸，熟了才切开享用。

怀念至极那样的味道。

因为极至想念，就开始在巴刹果子摊寻觅。

发现它的纵影，赶快买回来。

未成熟时，果子有点硬。

放置待软后，晚餐后享用。

吃的如痴如醉，终又尝到它的味道。

那知第二天早上起床，发觉肚子非常不舒服。

有种类似得了肠胃炎。

拉肚子、反胃、乏力、肚子一阵阵绞痛。

拉了七八次，好像止了。

坚持洗刷起来去上班。

在办公室吹了空调，忽然觉的好冷，披上毛衣，还是寒气无法挡。

手上的皮肤开始起鸡皮疙瘩。

几分钟后，又觉的开始发热。

肚子又一阵阵绞痛，那种痛，是非常的痛。

耐不住，赶快和同事说要看医生。

好心的同事还问，需要他用车载去医疗所吗，问我耐得住走那十分钟的路吗。

我看自己还可以，就道谢拒绝。

看了医生，拿了一包药。

医生建议我拿病假，还要暂时不吃油改吃粥。

我看自己服了药还可以，就没交上病假单。

药到病除，虽然还是懒洋洋的没力气，不过还好。

病从口入，不好过。

却因祸得福。

虽然我现在还是单身，但身旁还有家人嘘寒问暖。

还不至于病的凄凉。

感恩中。

10 Thinking Errors That Will Crush Your Mental Strength ... and how to overcome them

Mental strength requires a three-pronged approach—managing our thoughts, regulating our emotions, and behaving productively despite our circumstances.
While all three areas can be a struggle, it's often our thoughts that make it most difficult to be mentally strong.
As we go about our daily routines, our internal monologue narrates our experience. Our self-talk guides our behavior and influences the way we interact with others. It also plays a major role in how you feel about yourself, other people, and the world in general.
Quite often, however, our conscious thoughts aren't realistic; they're irrational and inaccurate. Believing our irrational thoughts can lead to problems including communication issues, relationship problems, and unhealthy decisions.
Whether you're striving to reach personal or professional goals, the key to success often starts with recognizing and replacing inaccurate thoughts. The most common thinking errors can be divided into these 10 categories, which are adapted from David Burns's book, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (link is external).
1. All-or-Nothing Thinking
Sometimes we see things as being black or white: Perhaps you have two categories of coworkers in your mind—the good ones and the bad ones. Or maybe you look at each project as either a success or a failure. Recognize the shades of gray, rather than putting things in terms of all good or all bad.
2. Overgeneralizing
It's easy to take one particular event and generalize it to the rest of our life. If you failed to close one deal, you may decide, "I'm bad at closing deals." Or if you are treated poorly by one family member, you might think, "Everyone in my family is rude." Take notice of times when an incident may apply to only one specific situation, instead of all other areas of life.
3. Filtering Out the Positive
If nine good things happen, and one bad thing, sometimes we filter out the good and hone in on the bad. Maybe we declare we had a bad day, despite the positive events that occurred. Or maybe we look back at our performance and declare it was terrible because we made a single mistake. Filtering out the positive can prevent you from establishing a realistic outlook on a situation. Develop a balanced outlook by noticing both the positive and the negative.
4. Mind-Reading
We can never be sure what someone else is thinking. Yet, everyone occasionally assumes they know what's going on in someone else's mind. Thinking things like, "He must have thought I was stupid at the meeting," makes inferences that aren't necessarily based on reality. Remind yourself that you may not be making accurate guesses about other people's perceptions.
5. Catastrophizing
Sometimes we think things are much worse than they actually are. If you fall short on meeting your financial goals one month you may think, "I'm going to end up bankrupt," or "I'll never have enough money to retire," even though there's no evidence that the situation is nearly that dire. It can be easy to get swept up into catastrophizing a situation once your thoughts become negative. When you begin predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself that there are many other potential outcomes.
6. Emotional Reasoning
Our emotions aren't always based on reality but we often assume those feelings are rational. If you're worried about making a career change, you might assume, "If I'm this scared about it, I just shouldn't change jobs." Or, you may be tempted to assume, "If I feel like a loser, I must be a loser." It's essential to recognize that emotions, just like our thoughts, aren't always based on the facts.
7. Labeling
Labeling involves putting a name to something. Instead of thinking, "He made a mistake," you might label your neighbor as "an idiot." Labeling people and experiences places them into categories that are often based on isolated incidents. Notice when you try to categorize things and work to avoid placing mental labels on everything.
8. Fortune-telling
Although none of us knows what will happen in the future, we sometimes like to try our hand at fortune-telling. We think things like, "I'm going to embarrass myself tomorrow," or "If I go on a diet, I'll probably just gain weight." These types of thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies if you're not careful. When you're predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself of all the other possible outcomes.
9. Personalization
As much as we'd like to say we don't think the world revolves around us, it's easy to personalize everything. If a friend doesn't call back, you may assume, "She must be mad at me," or if a co-worker is grumpy, you might conclude, "He doesn't like me." When you catch yourself personalizing situations, take time to point out other possible factors that may be influencing the circumstances.
10. Unreal Ideal
Making unfair comparisons about ourselves and other people can ruin our motivation. Looking at someone who has achieved much success and thinking, "I should have been able to do that," isn't helpful, especially if that person had some lucky breaks or competitive advantages along the way. Rather than measuring your life against someone else's, commit to focusing on your own path to success.
Fixing Thinking Errors
Once you recognize your thinking errors, you can begin trying to challenge those thoughts. Look for exceptions to the rule and gather evidence that your thoughts aren't 100% true. Then, you can begin replacing them with more realistic thoughts.
The goal doesn't need to be to replace negative thoughts with overly idealistic or positive ones. Instead, replace them with realistic thoughts. Changing the way you think takes a lot of effort initially, but with practice, you'll notice big changes—not just in the way you think, but also in the way you feel and behave. You can make peace with the past, look at the present differently, and think about the future in a way that will support your chances of reaching your goals.

爱错

是什么样的一种感情，我实在不懂。

因为我不是爱狗人士。

实在无法明白为什么有人会爱狗如命。

你惹到他的狗，他会跟你拼命，

爱到那种极端的爱。

不就是一只动物吗？

阿容婶住在乡下，养了三只狗，放任他们到处走动。

乡村房屋没篱笆，狗儿自由趴趴走。

最喜欢到隔壁弟弟阿福的菜园玩。

狗儿不懂可以玩的东西或不可玩的东西，本来就是动物。

所以狗儿一到菜园，就满地走动，跑跳滚，无一不作。

可怜阿福辛苦种的空心菜、菜心、茄子等物，那经得起狗的放肆动作。

农耕本来就属劳作，日晒雨淋，还要受蚊虫叮咬，兼看天吃饭。

不是种瓜就能得瓜的。

所以一旦看见自己的劳苦被这样的破坏，那种痛可想而知。

跟隔壁家姐姐阿容婶讲，要她把狗绑住。

阿容婶绑了几天，又打回原型，任它们到处趴趴走。

阿福看了这样的姐姐，爱狗多于爱弟弟。

怎么也想不通。

狗与弟弟，姐姐竟选着了有四只脚的狗。

阿容婶是爱错了吧？