2017年8月18日

求偶记 - 2



2016年写下这一篇。
因为都没有结果,所以容许猪再试一次。
网络的力量呀,请帮助猪。

明天要出门,今天我在部落客写下我希望在南半球会遇到你。

但遗憾的是在回来的一个月后,啥事都没发生。当真可说我跑遍了东南西北整个地球还是没有办法和你相遇。

很失望。可是我还是抱着希望;或许我不用那样费力的寻觅,因为众里寻他千百度,蓦然回首,那人却在,灯火阑珊处。

在南半球的时候,一度还怀疑那个人会可能是你吗?有着非常宽阔厚实的肩膀,高大健硕,穿了件大红色的N牌外套,大脸,笑起来眯起眼睛,不算英俊,可是身材英挺,必是天天来往健身房养成的。

在群组活动里,我从来不是主角,没有大众共认的美丽,没貌没才;反之长相抱歉的有点丑陋。因此我天天都高唱我很丑可是我很温柔。拍团体照时我的位置大多数都在旁边,都不会在闪光直照下。因为这样所以交际手段等于零,木纳寡言不会主动,都是自己独坐在旁边的角落。

在我的人生里,我从来不是主角,妈妈在生了两个姐姐后又生一个我。外公在我出生时,得知又是一个女儿时,他老人家的反应是哭了,然后说我妈妈是一个这样好的人,怎能又生女儿呢?爸妈因此把我取名为阿小,盼望我真的是家中的小女儿;又让我穿男装。还好,在我之后,妈妈就生了两个弟弟。排行中间的我大概就这样造成了今天这样性格的我。

话说在南半球旅行时,当我与一班团友在白色的长堤上拍照时,刚好你与一个长辈一起走过来,我主动的要求说一起拍。而老实说那张照片是我认为这一次出游最好看的,包括了人和风景。

走在大概2km的长堤上吹着冷风对于我们在热带生活的人,感觉极至享受。回程时,你陪着长辈坐小小火车。当火车经过我身边时,我们还高兴的互相摇手。

第二天在吃早餐时,刚好和你同桌,我主动的和你说了几句话。

一次在一条大马路旁边,在两边都是脱了树皮但仍长的绿油油的大树下拍团体照时,你轻轻的走来,然后就站在我的左手旁边,让我心里有一点点悸动。

又一次在绿油油的大公园里,同样是拍团体照,你又轻轻跑来站在我的后面,让我心里又有一点点悸动。

还有一次在吃早餐时,我站在大桌子前泡着著名的澳州美碌,而你在我后面悄悄的问我要吃冰淇淋吗,在冷冷接近冬天的早上。我说要,你说那先吃冰淇淋,然后才喝热热的美碌。你就到厨房给我拿冰淇淋, 而我因为怕肠胃敏感,拿了保守的巧克力冰淇淋。虽然当时我好想试一试澳州坚果冰淇淋。当我跑回自己的位置,你又随后来把袋子里剩下的冰淇淋都留下,要我决解。

又一次在参观巧克力厂时,你又在后面轻轻跟我说,前面的chocolate 是免费试吃的。
因为你的主动和对我说的这几句话而让我的南半球之旅生色许多。

可是在最后一天,你在一群人里,完全忽视了我。你帮助美丽又会说话的出色女团员提着大行李。而失落的我只有自己提着重重的行李。

那样的感觉就像那年读七号班时,美术老师叫我们作类似batik的手工。用蜡油在白布点上图画后,再把白布浸入放满了黑色颜料的大桶里。几个美丽的女同学都有男同学主动伸出手帮忙她们把布料浸入看来很肮脏的颜料大桶里;轮到我时,那些手都不见了,我只有自己来。
我们的相遇其实什么事都没有发生,而我好失望。

回来后,我开始在脸书里寻觅你的踪影,其实如果真的要联络也不是不能,因为手机里有你的微信联络,可怎样都没有勇气主动的跟你联系,只能在网络的背后默默的看着你。

爱情我没有谈过,暗恋却一直随着我。而这一次也一样。

远在南半球的你若发现有人一直这样的掂记的你,会怎样呢?

假如电脑会说话,它一定会说我一直重复的在开着那张我们在许多棵脱了树皮的大树下所拍的那张团体照和白色长堤照。而电脑虽然不会说话,可是记录一直在那里吧。

看着你的脸书记录,之前你原来已经和一个女孩订婚了,可是所有的记录都停顿在2014年。
没有最新消息。而我也在你的朋友圈里疯狂的寻觅,却没有任何最新讯息。我的结论是你们可能分开了。

我很想念你,尽管你将永远不属于我。

在最近的一个短途旅程里,突然非常想念南半球之旅。在长长无尽头的高速公路上,非常想念那一次我们坐的那辆车紧跟随在你前面所驾驶的车,沿着永无尽头的道路驾驶;我在做个梦,也许有一天我们会再次重复做同样的行程。就咱俩。

不知道是那一个年代的事,报纸副版上总会刊登短短的寄语,好象某天某时,我在某某地方遇见某个穿上某个颜色的A,过后没有再联络,看到寄语后请联络电话xxxxxx

哈哈,我也突然想这样。

20164xx日在南半球的某条大马路旁,在许多棵脱了树皮的大树下,我们一起拍了一张团体照,而你就穿着大红N牌外套站在我的左边。再加个小提示,在白色长堤上,在被大风吹的乱七八糟下,我们还有其他人也拍了照;在同样的地方你坐在火车上,我走在长堤上,我们高兴的互相摇手。另附加:你在冷冷接近冬天的早上请我吃冰淇淋。如果你看到,请联络我的电邮:joylim16@yahoo.com

这样的寄语效果怎样,我不知道。不过感觉仿佛水底捞针。


2017年8月11日

指明灯



种种迹象说出猪该离职了。
可猪这只笨猪却一直拖延..一直拖延..
不知道为什么猪就是鼓不起那一股勇气去向上司说:“我要辞职。”
如果说我爱你那三个字很难启齿,那我要辞职这四个字却令猪说不出口。
猪的原因之一可能是猪在第一次辞职时有很不好的经历。
猪向来有焦虑症。
猪简单猪满怀雄心的觅职面试,成功取得工作机会后,猪向旧公司呈辞职信。
猪当时还向上司说即便加薪也不会再留职。
猪万万想不到在当晚猪上床睡觉,到了半夜却突然醒来。
然后就一波又一波的恐慌来袭。
猪被这个心理障碍困扰。
最终跟上司收回辞职信,继续在旧岗位留任。
现在环境改变,公司没有任何前路。
猪有了新工作机会,猪还是害怕辞职。
猪该怎么办呢?
一些人轻而易举的事,对猪却另一回事。
猪渴望一个指明灯。
如果有人曾经有这样的经历,可以和猪分享吗?
或许这分享,就是猪的指明灯。

2017年8月3日

How to Make a Major Life Decision, in 9 Steps

Jun 23, 2016
 I spent weeks preparing the application, went through two rounds of interviews, and finally, after months of anticipation, received an offer to join the 2016 class of a prestigious business fellowship. I was one of a dozen selected from hundreds, if not thousands, of applicants. And in the end, I said no.
Even as I write this I feel a tinge of regret. I mean, how could I say no to something that would have looked so good on my resume? And after all that work to finally get accepted? The network it would open up for me? The money?
Essentially my decision boiled down to a more important set of questions: Am I doing this because I really want to, or because it would look good? Am I doing this because I’m just too scared to say no?
Here’s a quick rundown of the strategies I used to find answers. Not only did they give me the confidence to turn down the fellowship, but they’re helpful for making a variety of major life decisions.
1. Try meditation.
For me, this involved 10 days of intense, silent meditation in rural India. But you don’t have to travel to the other side of the world for the same effects. Instead, set aside a quiet meditation space where you can listen to your heart. What does it communicate when it’s not panicked and inundated with other people’s ideas?
Temporarily removing yourself from all external stimuli and ideas of who you should be and what you should do allows you to access your own values and take ownership of the direction you want your life to take.
2. Monitor your physical reactions.
When I read the email offering me the fellowship, I immediately began to process it on an intellectual level. But then I took a step back to pay attention to the sensations in my body, an idea I learned in meditation. As it turns out, my mind was terribly confused, but my body had already given a clear answer.
When I thought about accepting the offer, all the muscles in my body became tense, but when I imagined saying no, I felt a physical wave of relief. By pausing to listen to the body, we can tap into our subconscious instincts about life.
3. Consider the best-case scenario.
We often envision the worst-case scenario before making a decision. But this line of thinking can quickly spiral out of control: “I should take this job because maybe another one won’t come along and then I’ll have a huge gap on my resume and I’ll never get hired again and will have to live in a van down by the river and then no one will ever love me and I’ll die alone with a lot of cats and chickens.” Oh, come on!
Instead of getting bogged down in theoretical disasters, I chose to envision the best-case scenario and make decisions based on that. This allowed me to make a decision unclouded by destructive, crippling doubt. Instead of the above, van-by-the-river scenario, when ruminating over whether to accept the fellowship offer, I thought the following: “If this opportunity came into my life, so will many others. My priority is to stay on purpose.”
I’m still figuring out what that purpose is, but I know this particular option isn’t it.
4. Avoid asking for direct advice.
Instead, I asked a few people close to me how they would make a decision like this, not what they would decide if they were me. It’s an important distinction: I solicited frameworks of decision-making, rather than the decision itself. In the end, I needed to make the call because I was going to live with the consequences.
5. Cultivate an “abundance mentality”
We’re taught there are never enough jobs, resources, money, time and space. Instead of succumbing to this scarcity-driven mindset, tell yourself: “If I work as hard to secure the next opportunity as I did for this one, I’m bound to be successful.” Hear that? Bound to be successful. Where there’s one opportunity, a dozen more await.
6. Analyze your tone.
When I listened to the voice in my head telling me to accept the fellowship, I heard empty justification. When I listened to the voice telling me to say no, I heard sincere conviction. Listen to the quality of your thoughts when decision-making -- sometimes, it’s just as important as the content.
7. Resist FOMO
Ah, the epidemic of our generation. Pursuing things out of the “fear of missing out” is like taking medicine when you’re not even sick.
Life moves forward, not backward. Even if we miss out and feel regret, we have to keep moving forward. We can’t do everything that comes our way because we’re scared of what regret tastes like. Regret is part of life, and our time is finite. Choosing how we want to spend our days is an art we must all master.
8. Ask yourself: “Is this my exit?”
A friend put it this way: If you’re on the highway and the car in front of you takes the next exit, does that mean you also get off the highway? Of course not. You have your own destination, and you have to be clear-minded about where that is -- or, at least, isn't.
9. Embrace your fears.
Sometimes you must identify what you fear and then proceed in that direction. In my case, accepting the job would have been the safe, easy thing to do on a short-term basis. Saying no to something I knew I only wanted for the wrong reasons was the riskier choice. But I’m convinced it’s where the real opportunity lies.

猪还是犹豫了

原来猪是这样的一个人。
但一切准备就绪,猪还是犹豫了。
怎样看A计划还是最好的,可是猪就是还不要跨出那第一步。
猪采取的行动,就是保持不动。
当初怎样的对自己堂堂的保证一有机会就会出去,现在机会就在眼前,而猪却又胆怯了。
一而再,再而三的埋怨现有的,都说猪没有机会发挥自己。
可是机会来了,猪还要拖延。
就是不敢果断的做决定。
怎么办呢?这样懦弱的猪。
机会不会永远等待在那里,猪,醒醒吧!
不勇敢的出去,猪将一辈子怎样懦弱下去。

2017年8月2日

40 Ways to Trigger Positive Thinking

Think good, feel good, do good

Five ways to stop anxiety winning



Five ways to stop your anxiety winning
As anyone who suffers from anxiety knows, there is no quick fix or miracle cure.
I’ve experienced it throughout my life: overwhelmingly negative thoughts, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, night terrors.
Why does the tiny barman in my brain insist on serving me such an exciting symptomatic cocktail?
Everyone’s different obviously: I’m only qualified to talk about my own anxiety.
But here are five ways I’ve personally discovered not to let anxiety win:
Understand it
Go to the doctor.
Yes I know, it’s Anxiety 101, but it took me years to finally go and get some help.
I had a session with a psychiatrist, which was surprisingly un-scary (although newsflash: it’s not like the movies – there was no couch and I had to slum it in an upright chair!), and was referred for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
It really helped, as gradually I started to understand my anxiety and learn how to deal with it better.
Own it
Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.
I used to worry that people would think I was less fun.
But the way I see it now, this isn’t part of my personality.
I didn’t mean to put it in my shopping basket, it’s just an unexpected item in my bagging area.
What I mean by this confusing and lazy metaphor is that anxiety doesn’t define you. Own it, accept it, but don’t be embarrassed by it.
Share it
I’m not saying shout it from the rooftops (although actually, that does sound therapeutic: see you all on the roof!).
But if you’re finding it hard to cope, talk about it. Over a cuppa. And those posh German biscuits.
Mental illness shouldn’t be a taboo topic but it still is for many people.
Confide in your friends, family, colleagues, milkman. Help them understand what’s going on – it always makes me feel better.
Five ways to stop anxiety winning Dave Anderson
(Picture: Dave Anderson for Metro.co.uk)
Deflect it
When those negative thoughts are having a party inside my brain they are almost impossible to switch off, but I’ve discovered little distractions can dim the volume a bit.
I find colouring particularly calming.
It helps if you have some truly excellent pens and enjoy shopping for stationery more than any grown woman should admit to.
Laugh at it
At it, with it, just laugh. This is honestly the one that’s helped me the most.
Back in January 2013 my anxiety was trolling me hard.
I was in a permanent state of what I call ‘Towel Face’ (spending a prolonged amount of time in your towel post-shower because getting dressed is too overwhelming) and on a whim I signed up to an improvised comedy course.
Best decision I ever made. Spending three hours a week playing and laughing in a room full of funny people is an utterly joyous experience and I’ve never looked back.
I continued to throw myself into comedy and I’ve just written my own one-woman show, which is inspired in part by my own anxiety.
It’s a cliché for a reason – laughter IS the best medicine. So make it a top priority.
You can catch Naomi’s comedy show I Am Telling You I’m Not Going at The Edinburgh Festival Fringe from August 3-29 at The Pleasance Courtyard.

5 Things Most People Get Wrong About Hormones: A Doctor Explains


5 Things Most People Get Wrong About Hormones: A Doctor Explains Hero Image
Hormones drive so many actions in the body, from your metabolism to mood to whether hair stays on your head. They’re complex. They’re interdependent. And in the decades that I’ve spent as a board-certified gynecologist helping women balance their hormones naturally, I’ve found that most people believe one or more of the following hormonal myths:

1. "I’m too young to have a hormone problem."

The problem: When I was younger, I also figured that menopause was some future cliff I’d fall from, around age fifty or so, in the distant future.
The truth: Not so. Your body has been prepared for the menopausal cliff for decades before, and it will pay future dividends for you to understand the more subtle hormone imbalances that begin as early as your late 20s. Most commonly, testosterone, DHEA, progesterone, and even estrogen can start to wane. In my 30s, I had signs of hormonal imbalance already—more frequent periods (every 26 days instead of the usual 28), PMS, deteriorating libido, and a growing waistline were the big clues.

2. "I feel flat (or fat, or fatigued). I must be doing something wrong."

The problem: It breaks my heart when a patient assumes that her moodiness or sense of depletion are a moral failure, and doesn’t look first for a biological explanation.
The truth: Before you go popping antidepressants or hunting down a therapist, know that biology is most likely to blame for many of your emotional symptoms. (That’s not to say you shouldn’t seek expert help if you have severe, long-term symptoms—please do.) But about 20 percent of women with mood issues and depression have problems with their thyroid. Low estrogen and progesterone can also cause your mood to tank.
For many women, a few tweaks to your hormones can help you feel like a completely different person.

3. "My doctor says hormones change too much for measurement to be meaningful."

The problem: In my medical education and residency, I was taught that measuring hormone levels is a waste of time and money, because hormone levels vary too much.
The truth: We track hormones such as estrogen, progesterone, thyroid, and testosterone when women are trying to conceive or are in the early months of pregnancy. I wondered why these numbers would be important indications of a woman’s health in one situation but not another? Wouldn’t my hormone levels be as reliable an indicator of my health after my pregnancies, as before them? Why the double standard?
In my 30s, when I was a frazzled new mom, harried wife, and busy doctor, I struggled with low energy, belly fat, a nonexistent libido, and a less-than-sunny disposition. It was only when I tested my hormones that I found they were seriously out of whack. In fact, my blood cortisol was three times what it should have been. I wouldn’t have known that hormones were the main culprit if I didn’t measure them.
You should measure your levels. too. What you measure improves. Your hormones may just be the most important plants in your garden for us to nurture and help bloom.

4. "I’m tired and gaining weight—I just need to accept that I’m getting older."

The problem: You may think it’s normal to feel this way as you get older. And if you’ve heard this from your doctor, you may be afraid to disagree for fear you don’t have any data to back you up. Don’t disempower yourself.
The truth: Too often, we think the problems we're having are age-related, but a simple test can indicate if they are hormone-related. For example, fatigue and weight gain are classic examples of low thyroid. Additionally, too many doctors mistake the symptom for the problem, and may put you on a nutritional and exercise regimen to manage your weight without going deeper and looking for the root cause of your symptoms.
This reminds me of the diagnosis for cataracts. Doctors used to tell patients complaining of blurry vision that they were just getting older, but now we take them seriously and send them straight to an ophthalmologist for further testing.

5. "My doctor says my hormone levels are normal."

The problem: Your doctor is old school and looking at the normal reference range for 95 percent of the population, not the optimal range.
The truth: Your doctor may be well intentioned, but under-informed. They may be using an outdated reference range, using "normal" reference ranges from their medical school days, and are unfamiliar with newer guidelines that in fact have a narrower optimal range (see the conventional versus optimal lab ranges below).
They may also be unaware of current findings, or they may just rely on the myth that numbers don’t lie. Too many doctors rely on a limited lab test more than what the patient is telling them.

Conventional lab ranges:

Free T3 (blood spot): 2.5-6.5 pg/ml.
Free T4 (blood spot): 0.7-2.5 ng/dL.
Estradiol (serum): Premenopause: depends on timing with cycle. Overall 15-350 pg/mL in premenopause. Postmenopause and not on hormones < 32.
Progesterone (serum): Luteal phase: 8 to 33 ng/mL.
Cortisol (serum): 7-28 ug/dL morning, 2-18 ug/dL afternoon.

Optimal lab ranges:

Free T3 (blood spot): Top half of normal range (varies by lab), 4.5-6.5 pg/ml.
Free T4 (blood spot): Top half of normal range (varies by lab), 1.45-2.5 pg/ml.
Estradiol (serum): Day 3: < 80; Day 14: 150-350; Postmenopause approximately 50 for bone strength.
Progesterone (serum): Luteal phase: 15-33 ng/mL.
Cortisol (serum): 10-15 ug/dL morning, 6-10 ug/dL afternoon.
“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. 
Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as self-evident.”
—Arthur Schopenhauer

吃斋的猪

猪现在的三餐多是吃蔬菜瓜果类。 偶尔蔬菜碗中加几片薄薄的肉片或鸡蛋增添点滋味。 吃素吃多了脸色也绿黄绿黄的。 本来都正在步入中老年人的步伐,脸色已经非常灰暗了,再加上营养不均匀的三餐。 猪脸越见丑陋,自己都不想看到镜中的自己。 这样的伙食也使猪脚步乏力,整天缺乏动力。 只想躺着不...