BAD

See people face to live my daily life.
Some people are so bad.  Change face like turning pages of book.
Life is not easy here.

I am crying today

I am crying today.
I have to pretend that I am not.
That is the most difficult part.
Don't cry Choo.

I want to go back

They are fighting everyday.
Their faces can change within second just like flipping back a page from a book.
I am the one who stand in the middle.
Can do nothing.
My heart is crying very hard.
I wish that I can go home.
But there is nothing I can do at home too.
My mind and body tell myself that I am stressing here.
That is why within 3 months' time here, I am getting sick for 2 times.
My immune system is in a very weak situation.

Still no sign of you

Whoo...whoo.....whoo.....!
It has been such a long way.
I am still waiting.
It looks there is no ending of my long wait.
I don't know whether I can still stand it or not.

When everything don't go my way

At first I am thinking of there is new life in my new environment.
But it look like all the same.
I am wondering is this all because of my own attitude?
My new employment left me idling without any specific work task.
My superior is busy like a headless fly but I am free as a bird.
She says she is extremely busy and I am extremely free.

It look I shall be happy of this.
But looking into the true situation I am earning somebody money without doing any job.
I am not happy of earning this blind money.

What should I do?

I am in such an awkward situation.
I don't know what should I do?
I am thinking of Bible parable of a father receiving his son.
Should I go back? Or should I remain here?
I don't know.

求偶记 - 2

2016年写下这一篇。

因为都没有结果，所以容许猪再试一次。

网络的力量呀，请帮助猪。

明天要出门，今天我在部落客写下我希望在南半球会遇到你。

但遗憾的是在回来的一个月后，啥事都没发生。当真可说我跑遍了东南西北整个地球还是没有办法和你相遇。

很失望。可是我还是抱着希望；或许我不用那样费力的寻觅，因为众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在，灯火阑珊处。

在南半球的时候，一度还怀疑那个人会可能是你吗？有着非常宽阔厚实的肩膀，高大健硕，穿了件大红色的N牌外套，大脸，笑起来眯起眼睛，不算英俊，可是身材英挺，必是天天来往健身房养成的。

在群组活动里，我从来不是主角，没有大众共认的美丽，没貌没才；反之长相抱歉的有点丑陋。因此我天天都高唱’我很丑可是我很温柔’。拍团体照时我的位置大多数都在旁边，都不会在闪光直照下。因为这样所以交际手段等于零，木纳寡言不会主动，都是自己独坐在旁边的角落。

在我的人生里，我从来不是主角，妈妈在生了两个姐姐后又生一个我。外公在我出生时，得知又是一个女儿时，他老人家的反应是哭了，然后说我妈妈是一个这样好的人，怎能又生女儿呢？爸妈因此把我取名为阿小，盼望我真的是家中的小女儿；又让我穿男装。还好，在我之后，妈妈就生了两个弟弟。排行中间的我大概就这样造成了今天这样性格的我。

话说在南半球旅行时，当我与一班团友在白色的长堤上拍照时，刚好你与一个长辈一起走过来，我主动的要求说一起拍。而老实说那张照片是我认为这一次出游最好看的，包括了人和风景。

走在大概2km的长堤上吹着冷风对于我们在热带生活的人，感觉极至享受。回程时，你陪着长辈坐小小火车。当火车经过我身边时，我们还高兴的互相摇手。

第二天在吃早餐时，刚好和你同桌，我主动的和你说了几句话。

一次在一条大马路旁边，在两边都是脱了树皮但仍长的绿油油的大树下拍团体照时，你轻轻的走来，然后就站在我的左手旁边，让我心里有一点点悸动。

又一次在绿油油的大公园里，同样是拍团体照，你又轻轻跑来站在我的后面，让我心里又有一点点悸动。

还有一次在吃早餐时，我站在大桌子前泡着著名的澳州美碌，而你在我后面悄悄的问我要吃冰淇淋吗，在冷冷接近冬天的早上。我说要，你说那先吃冰淇淋，然后才喝热热的美碌。你就到厨房给我拿冰淇淋， 而我因为怕肠胃敏感，拿了保守的巧克力冰淇淋。虽然当时我好想试一试澳州坚果冰淇淋。当我跑回自己的位置，你又随后来把袋子里剩下的冰淇淋都留下，要我决解。

又一次在参观巧克力厂时，你又在后面轻轻跟我说，前面的chocolate 是免费试吃的。

因为你的主动和对我说的这几句话而让我的南半球之旅生色许多。

可是在最后一天，你在一群人里，完全忽视了我。你帮助美丽又会说话的出色女团员提着大行李。而失落的我只有自己提着重重的行李。

那样的感觉就像那年读七号班时，美术老师叫我们作类似batik的手工。用蜡油在白布点上图画后，再把白布浸入放满了黑色颜料的大桶里。几个美丽的女同学都有男同学主动伸出手帮忙她们把布料浸入看来很肮脏的颜料大桶里；轮到我时，那些手都不见了，我只有自己来。

我们的相遇其实什么事都没有发生，而我好失望。

回来后，我开始在脸书里寻觅你的踪影，其实如果真的要联络也不是不能，因为手机里有你的微信联络，可怎样都没有勇气主动的跟你联系，只能在网络的背后默默的看着你。

爱情我没有谈过，暗恋却一直随着我。而这一次也一样。

远在南半球的你若发现有人一直这样的掂记的你，会怎样呢？

假如电脑会说话，它一定会说我一直重复的在开着那张我们在许多棵脱了树皮的大树下所拍的那张团体照和白色长堤照。而电脑虽然不会说话，可是记录一直在那里吧。

看着你的脸书记录，之前你原来已经和一个女孩订婚了，可是所有的记录都停顿在2014年。

没有最新消息。而我也在你的朋友圈里疯狂的寻觅，却没有任何最新讯息。我的结论是你们可能分开了。

我很想念你，尽管你将永远不属于我。

在最近的一个短途旅程里，突然非常想念南半球之旅。在长长无尽头的高速公路上，非常想念那一次我们坐的那辆车紧跟随在你前面所驾驶的车，沿着永无尽头的道路驾驶；我在做个梦，也许有一天我们会再次重复做同样的行程。就咱俩。

不知道是那一个年代的事，报纸副版上总会刊登短短的寄语，好象某天某时，我在某某地方遇见某个穿上某个颜色的A，过后没有再联络，看到寄语后请联络电话xxxxxx。

哈哈，我也突然想这样。

在2016年4月xx日在南半球的某条大马路旁，在许多棵脱了树皮的大树下，我们一起拍了一张团体照，而你就穿着大红N牌外套站在我的左边。再加个小提示，在白色长堤上，在被大风吹的乱七八糟下，我们还有其他人也拍了照；在同样的地方你坐在火车上，我走在长堤上，我们高兴的互相摇手。另附加：你在冷冷接近冬天的早上请我吃冰淇淋。如果你看到，请联络我的电邮：joylim16@yahoo.com

这样的寄语效果怎样，我不知道。不过感觉仿佛水底捞针。

指明灯

种种迹象说出猪该离职了。

可猪这只笨猪却一直拖延..一直拖延..。

不知道为什么猪就是鼓不起那一股勇气去向上司说：“我要辞职。”

如果说我爱你那三个字很难启齿，那我要辞职这四个字却令猪说不出口。

猪的原因之一可能是猪在第一次辞职时有很不好的经历。

猪向来有焦虑症。

猪简单猪满怀雄心的觅职面试，成功取得工作机会后，猪向旧公司呈辞职信。

猪当时还向上司说即便加薪也不会再留职。

猪万万想不到在当晚猪上床睡觉，到了半夜却突然醒来。

然后就一波又一波的恐慌来袭。

猪被这个心理障碍困扰。

最终跟上司收回辞职信，继续在旧岗位留任。

现在环境改变，公司没有任何前路。

猪有了新工作机会，猪还是害怕辞职。

猪该怎么办呢？

一些人轻而易举的事，对猪却另一回事。

猪渴望一个指明灯。

如果有人曾经有这样的经历，可以和猪分享吗？

或许这分享，就是猪的指明灯。

How to Make a Major Life Decision, in 9 Steps

Elaina Giolando

Jun 23, 2016

 I spent weeks preparing the application, went through two rounds of interviews, and finally, after months of anticipation, received an offer to join the 2016 class of a prestigious business fellowship. I was one of a dozen selected from hundreds, if not thousands, of applicants. And in the end, I said no.

Even as I write this I feel a tinge of regret. I mean, how could I say no to something that would have looked so good on my resume? And after all that work to finally get accepted? The network it would open up for me? The money?

Essentially my decision boiled down to a more important set of questions: Am I doing this because I really want to, or because it would look good? Am I doing this because I’m just too scared to say no?

Here’s a quick rundown of the strategies I used to find answers. Not only did they give me the confidence to turn down the fellowship, but they’re helpful for making a variety of major life decisions.

1. Try meditation.

For me, this involved 10 days of intense, silent meditation in rural India. But you don’t have to travel to the other side of the world for the same effects. Instead, set aside a quiet meditation space where you can listen to your heart. What does it communicate when it’s not panicked and inundated with other people’s ideas?

Temporarily removing yourself from all external stimuli and ideas of who you should be and what you should do allows you to access your own values and take ownership of the direction you want your life to take.

Related: Your Uber Driver Is Probably Working on a Hot New Startup

2. Monitor your physical reactions.

When I read the email offering me the fellowship, I immediately began to process it on an intellectual level. But then I took a step back to pay attention to the sensations in my body, an idea I learned in meditation. As it turns out, my mind was terribly confused, but my body had already given a clear answer.

When I thought about accepting the offer, all the muscles in my body became tense, but when I imagined saying no, I felt a physical wave of relief. By pausing to listen to the body, we can tap into our subconscious instincts about life.

3. Consider the best-case scenario.

We often envision the worst-case scenario before making a decision. But this line of thinking can quickly spiral out of control: “I should take this job because maybe another one won’t come along and then I’ll have a huge gap on my resume and I’ll never get hired again and will have to live in a van down by the river and then no one will ever love me and I’ll die alone with a lot of cats and chickens.” Oh, come on!

Instead of getting bogged down in theoretical disasters, I chose to envision the best-case scenario and make decisions based on that. This allowed me to make a decision unclouded by destructive, crippling doubt. Instead of the above, van-by-the-river scenario, when ruminating over whether to accept the fellowship offer, I thought the following: “If this opportunity came into my life, so will many others. My priority is to stay on purpose.”

I’m still figuring out what that purpose is, but I know this particular option isn’t it.

4. Avoid asking for direct advice.

Instead, I asked a few people close to me how they would make a decision like this, not what they would decide if they were me. It’s an important distinction: I solicited frameworks of decision-making, rather than the decision itself. In the end, I needed to make the call because I was going to live with the consequences.

5. Cultivate an “abundance mentality”

We’re taught there are never enough jobs, resources, money, time and space. Instead of succumbing to this scarcity-driven mindset, tell yourself: “If I work as hard to secure the next opportunity as I did for this one, I’m bound to be successful.” Hear that? Bound to be successful. Where there’s one opportunity, a dozen more await.

6. Analyze your tone.

When I listened to the voice in my head telling me to accept the fellowship, I heard empty justification. When I listened to the voice telling me to say no, I heard sincere conviction. Listen to the quality of your thoughts when decision-making -- sometimes, it’s just as important as the content.

7. Resist FOMO

Ah, the epidemic of our generation. Pursuing things out of the “fear of missing out” is like taking medicine when you’re not even sick.

Life moves forward, not backward. Even if we miss out and feel regret, we have to keep moving forward. We can’t do everything that comes our way because we’re scared of what regret tastes like. Regret is part of life, and our time is finite. Choosing how we want to spend our days is an art we must all master.

Related: 7 Words That Can Help You Figure Out Your Life’s Purpose

8. Ask yourself: “Is this my exit?”

A friend put it this way: If you’re on the highway and the car in front of you takes the next exit, does that mean you also get off the highway? Of course not. You have your own destination, and you have to be clear-minded about where that is -- or, at least, isn't.

9. Embrace your fears.

Sometimes you must identify what you fear and then proceed in that direction. In my case, accepting the job would have been the safe, easy thing to do on a short-term basis. Saying no to something I knew I only wanted for the wrong reasons was the riskier choice. But I’m convinced it’s where the real opportunity lies.

猪还是犹豫了

原来猪是这样的一个人。

但一切准备就绪，猪还是犹豫了。

怎样看A计划还是最好的，可是猪就是还不要跨出那第一步。

猪采取的行动，就是保持不动。

当初怎样的对自己堂堂的保证一有机会就会出去，现在机会就在眼前，而猪却又胆怯了。

一而再，再而三的埋怨现有的，都说猪没有机会发挥自己。

可是机会来了，猪还要拖延。

就是不敢果断的做决定。

怎么办呢？这样懦弱的猪。

机会不会永远等待在那里，猪，醒醒吧！

不勇敢的出去，猪将一辈子怎样懦弱下去。

40 Ways to Trigger Positive Thinking

Think good, feel good, do good

By Zuzu Perkal

  

 Each day you wake up with a choice. Reality is yours to create and transformation is at your doorstep. Will you decide to be grateful, spontaneous, enlightened, and joyous, or will you choose the alternative? We all have the power to set the tone for our own lives. The power of positive thinking cannot be underestimated. Each moment we are granted another opportunity for greatness.
Barbara Fredrickson, a positive psychology researcher at the University of North Carolina, uses the example of stumbling across a tiger to explain how negative thoughts can inhibit us. If you were to come face-to-face with a tiger, you would probably have immediate negative thoughts and feelings. Your body and mind would freeze up, as your awareness fine tunes itself to the tiger in front of you and the fear within you. In this moment, nothing else in the world would be of importance and your mind would tell you to run. When we experience negative emotions, our mind and focus narrows. Negativity is like survival instinct, we can only see what’s in front of us: Tunnel vision.
Instead of seeing the whole picture, we are only in tune to the things directly surrounding us. This example can be taken into everyday experiences when we have negative thoughts and emotions and our focus becomes directed on what’s right in front of us rather than being able to see the big picture. Imagine a time when you have been overly stressed about something. It’s possible, in the whirlwind of stress, you may not be able to be productive or indulge in happy thoughts. We become paralyzed in our negativity.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the law of attraction: the idea that what we put out into the universe, comes back to us. When we open ourselves up to the possibility of good things happening, they do! We have a choice. Every fleeting moment is another chance to switch thing around and to tap into the power of positivity.

Here Are A Few Ways to Stay Positive:

1. Think happy thoughts!
2. Call someone you care about and tell them something nice. When we are kind to others, we feel better about ourselves.
3. Wake up and tell yourself that you’re beautiful and you’re going to have a great day.
4. Do something that makes you feel good. Play outside, write in a journal, join a yoga or gym class, listen to your favorite song, or hang out with people you enjoy being around.
5. Find positive affirmations that make you feel good and repeat them throughout your day.
6. Listen to your gut. Do what feels right.
7. Remind yourself of how hard you’ve worked to get to where you are and be proud of yourself.
8. Daydream.
9. Tell yourself that it’s all going to work out… because it is!
10. Don’t forget that everything is temporary.
11. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy whatever moment you are in for what it is. The future is a series of “nows.”
12. Find happiness in the small things.
13. Praise the sun, moon, and stars—they’re watching over you.
14. Meditate!
15.  Take a vacation and spend the whole time spoiling yourself.
16. Play outside.
17. Move slower and enjoy more.
18. Exercise regularly.
19. Breathe.
20. Focus on what you want, not the things you don’t want.
21. Go to a museum or art gallery and take in the beauty that surrounds you.
22. Spark up a conversation with a stranger.
23. Give someone a compliment.
24. Smile at yourself in the mirror.
25. Be present. You are here now for a reason.
26. Let go of things that don’t really matter.
27. Live with gratitude.
28. Free yourself from fear of the unknown. Be adventurous.
29. Foster new relationships with positive individuals and absorb their energy.
30. Let go of old memories that no longer serve you.
31. Sit somewhere quiet and pay attention to your five sense. Settle in.
32. Tell someone you love them.
33. Believe in the magic that surrounds you.
34. Laugh!
35. Find things that inspire you and let them in.
36. Don’t forget that you’re awesome!
37. Expect less.
38. Live simply.
39. Every day is a new day filled with limitless possibilities.
40. Love yourself just the way you are.