骂人

觉得很失望。

A能够一天工作7小时，却有4小时以上都是在外面开遛。

他的藉口是上银行，实际上是在咖啡店喝茶聊天，看人打桌球等等。

而我一天工作7小时，却要7小时被困在办工室里。

工作这样久，只是今天一个下午没来（通知了A），还回答的极之不爽快。

说：“若是K市的老板要他出外办事，办工室没人，他办不了，怎么办？”

这样的藉口都敢说的出来的乌龟王八蛋。

作帐的人怎么现在都不会算了。

自己天天迟到早退，一直外出，都不算。

我的缺席就算的清清楚楚。

10 Things to Say to Generate Good Feelings

The more you give, the more you'll get.

Post published by Susan Heitler Ph.D. on Jul 20, 2012 in Resolution, Not Conflict

 At any moment, you can send people positive vibes or negative vibes. You can hug, connecting with people in a positive way, physically and also verbally. Or, you can push people away or knock them down, again either physically or via verbal complaints, disagreement, or blame. (link is external)
Love as a verb involves the emanation of positive energy. Expressions of thanks, gratitude and appreciation, along with a sincere interest in others' lives—and warm smiles—all send forth positive energy. The more positive emanations you send people, the more they will feel appreciated, and appreciate you in return.
Overdoing the positivity with excessive gushing, like sunshine that is too intense, can be off-putting, but for the most part, people who emanate positive vibes feel "warm." Whether it's your boss, employee, or colleague, or your friend, relative, or partner, warm people feel safe to share with, and, like gentle sunshine, radiate good feelings. Their positivity makes you want to talk with them more; they establish good vibes as a relationship standard.
Positive people avoid being critical or argumentative, negating what you say, or responding dismissively to what you say. Those are the habits of negative people. Interacting with someone who is often negative, or being in a group with a leader who sends forth negative words and vibes, can be a downer. Their energy makes others feel insecure, ignored, criticized, irritated, or depressed. Time shared with someone who exudes toxic energy can be downright unpleasant. (If you are living in a household with bickering or outright fights, you'd best learn how to stop arguing (link is external).) Positive individuals and leaders, by contrast, convey interest in your perspective and well-being, along with an appreciation of what you do and say.
You can decide to be more positive. 
The following is a list of sentence starters that launch good vibes. (I'm sure you could add more.) Consider deciding to add some of them to your conversational routine, especially if it feels like your close relationships need a bit of rekindling (link is external), and see what happens:

1. Yes...
   "Yes, going swimming sounds great." ["Yes... but.." has the opposite impact; but negates the positivity of the Yes.]
    
2. I agree...
   "I agree that it's too hot to do any exercise other than swimming today."
    
3. I appreciate...
   "I appreciate your willingness to pack a lunch."
    
4. Thank you for...
   "Thanks so much for getting me moving. I was stuck on my couch all day."
    
5. I like (love, enjoy) ...
   "I like that suit! Looks terrific!"
    
6. That makes sense to me...
   "Bringing lunch makes sense to me because the food at the pool is so expensive."
    
7. I'm pleased (happy, delighted) that...
   "I'm delighted that you invited those guys to join us."
    
8. Good! (Excellent! Great! Wow! Cool! Terrific!, etc.)
   "Great! Let's hop in the car."
    
9. How...?/What...?
   These open-ended question words convey warmth and positive views of the other person: "How have you felt about driving since your accident?" "What have you heard lately from your Mom?"
    
10. Positive non-verbals. Positive words have even more impact when spoken in an enthusiastic tone of voice, with positive facial expressions. Smiles, laughter, playfulness, "eye hugs" from eye contact—and, with intimates, hugs and other physical expressions of affection—go a long way toward generating good feelings.

Another tip: Eliminate as many negatives as you can, including words like but, no, not, don't like, and attitudes that are critical, sarcastic, or blaming, all of which will drag down the emotional tone of an interaction, undermining whatever positives you bring.
Of course, every sentence you say need not radiate good vibes; overdone or insincere gushing would be counter-productive. But sprinkling a generous seasoning of positive expressions into your interactions can warm your relationships and brighten how people feel when they talk with you, whether you're dealing with a salesperson or co-worker, or a loved one or child at home.
Emanate positive vibes, even to yourself, and affection and appreciation will return your way. Everyone will enjoy the sunshine!
(Note: Giving positivity is one of four essential arenas of skills that keep relationships positive. Be sure also to develop your skills in the other three communication skill-sets (link is external). That way your smiles and positive words will express genuine inner feelings of well-being as well as outward expression of goodwill.)

Why Writing by Hand Could Change Your Life

New research makes a strong defense of a dying art.

Post published by Temma Ehrenfeld on Apr 23, 2015 in Open Gently

 The debut of the Remington typewriter in 1873 radically altered how people could communicate thoughts. Since then, we have debated whether handwriting was still necessary. Today, kids tap keyboards and phones but rarely, if ever, write by hand even a thank-you card.
However, there’s still good reason for mastering this diminishing craft.
Writing by hand is easier than using a keyboard—and more fruitful. In one study, (link is external)second-graders wrote more words, faster, by pen than by keyboard; fourth- and sixth-graders were more likely to write complete sentences with a pen. Other research (link is external)found that kids produce more ideas when writing by hand and that hand-written essays are more coherent and thoughtful—as well as grammatical.
Does this phenomenon affect us only after we learn to read or at the onset of our education? In another experiment (link is external), five-year-olds who couldn’t read or write printed, typed, or traced letters and shapes. When they saw the letters and shapes during a brain scan, a part of the brain known as the “reading circuit” lit up only after printing, not after typing or tracing.
While literate adults recognize letters despite changes in font, size, or case, children may learn to do that by writing, the authors suggest. The reason may lie in the fact that writing by hand requires several finger movements, compared to hitting a key. According to co-author Virginia Berninger, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Washington, those finger movements activate parts of the brain that help us think.
The case for teaching children cursive, however, is less clear, since at that stage of development they have already learned to recognize letters. According to a report from the Miami-Dade public school system, most schools currently teach cursive handwriting for 10-to-15 minutes a day in the spring of second or third grade. Until the 1970s, penmanship was typically a distinct daily lesson from first through sixth grade—and a separate grade entry on report cards. When handwritten essays were introduced on the SAT in 2006, only 15 percent of the almost 1.5 million students who took the test wrote their answers in cursive, the Miami-Dade report notes; the others printed. (The Common Core curriculum doesn’t require cursive at all, and some states have abandoned teaching it altogether.)
Even many adults who grew up learning to write by hand hate it and have long since abandoned trying to write legible cursive. But their ineptitude should not prevent them from articulating their thoughts; Victor Hugo, James Joyce, and Lord Byron were all scrawlers. Mastering cursive again would actually make it easier to write—the fastest hand-writers use a mix of cursive and print, according to literacy and handwriting expert Steve Graham. Some argue (link is external) that learning cursive is helpful for people with dyslexia. It is also a form of self-expression, since writers develop idiosyncrasies, although there is no good evidence (link is external) that we can reliably assess personality by examining handwriting samples.
Will we have lost something important if the next generation of Americans never send hand-written thank-you notes or post a shopping list on a refrigerator? Could you recognize your own child’s handwriting? In a completely non-scientific poll, I asked several parents and none could definitively say yes. While the art of handwriting is dying out, and may require additional effort to learn initially, that extra attention could benefit both children and adults in terms of literacy, retention, and articulation.
— Virginia W. Berninger, Ph.D.
Robert D. Abbott, Ph.D.
Amy Augsburger, Ph.D.
Noelia Garcia, Ph.D.

How We Decide Who's Creepy

New research into our 'creepiness detector' explains a lot.

Post published by Frank T McAndrew Ph.D. on May 19, 2015 in Out of the Ooze

 "That guy is so creepy," we occasionally say about other people. But what does that really mean and why do we say it? Our “creepy” reaction is both unpleasant and confusing, and according to one study (Leander, et al, 2012), it may even be accompanied by physical symptoms such as feeling cold or chilly. Following casual conversation with colleagues about the psychology underlying creepiness, I decided explore what's been studied about the phenomenon. Given how frequently creepiness is discussed in everyday life, I was amazed that no one had yet studied it in a scientific way. The little bit of research that was at all relevant focused on how we respond to things such as weird nonverbal behaviors, and being socially excluded. These studies did not use the word creepiness, but their results implied that our “creepiness detector” may in fact be a defense against some sort of threat.
Creepiness may be related to the “agency-detection” mechanisms proposed by evolutionary psychologists. These mechanisms evolved to protect us from harm at the hands of predators and enemies. If you are walking down a dark city street and hear the sound of something moving in a dark alley, you will respond with a heightened level of arousal and sharply focused attention and behave as if there is a willful “agent” present who is about to do you harm. If it turns out to be just a gust of wind or a stray cat, you lost little by over-reacting, but if you failed to activate the alarm response and a true threat was present, the cost of your miscalculation could be high.
We evolved to err on the side of detecting threats in such ambiguous situations.
What, then, does our creepiness detector warn us about? It cannot just be a clear warning of physical or social harm. A mugger who points a gun in your face and demands money is terrifying. A rival who threatens to destroy your reputation by revealing secret information about you fills you with dread. Most of us would not use the word “creepy” to refer to either of these situations, yet in both cases there is no ambiguity about the presence of threat. I believe that creepiness is anxiety aroused by the ambiguity of whether there is something to fear, and/or by the ambiguity of the precise nature of the threat—sexual, physical violence, or contamination, for example—that might be present.
Only when we are confronted with uncertainty about threat do we get “creeped out." Our uncertainty paralyzes us about how to respond. For example, it would be considered rude, and strange, to run away in the middle of a conversation with someone is sending out a creepy vibe but is actually harmless; it could be perilous to ignore your intuition and engage with that individual if he is dangerous. This ambivalence may leave you frozen in place, wallowing in creepiness. Yet this reaction could still be adaptive if it helps you maintain vigilance during such periods of uncertainty and manage the balance between self-preservation and social obligation.
I began to identify the components of creepiness. Since there was no previous body of research to build upon, I decided to pursue this question in a study with one of my students, Sara Koehnke. Our study was unavoidably exploratory in nature, but we had a few hypotheses:

1. If creepiness communicates potential threat, males should be more likely to be perceived as creepy than females, since males are generally more violent and physically threatening to more people (see McAndrew, 2009).
2. Related to the first prediction, females should be more likely than males to perceive some sort of sexual threat from a "creepy" person.
3. Occupations that signal a fascination with threatening stimuli, such as death or "non-normative" sex, may attract individuals that would be comfortable in such a work environment. Hence, some occupations should be perceived as creepier than other occupations.
4. Since we hypothesize that creepiness is a function of uncertainty about threat, non-normative nonverbal behaviors and behaviors or characteristics associated with unpredictability will be positively associated with perceptions of creepiness.

We recruited volunteers to fill out an online survey through Facebook, and ended up with a sample of 1,341 individuals (1,029 females, 312 males) ranging in age from 18 to 77 with a mean age of 28.97 (SD = 11.34). In the first section of the survey, our participants rated the likelihood that a hypothetical “creepy person” would exhibit 44 different behaviors, such as unusual patterns of eye contact or physical characteristics like visible tattoos. In the second section of the survey, participants rated the creepiness of 21 different occupations, and in the third section, they simply listed two hobbies that they thought were creepy. In the final section, participants expressed their level of agreement with 15 statements about the nature of creepy people.
Our study confirmed the following:

• Perceived creepy people are more likely to be males than females.
• Females are more likely to perceive sexual threat from creepy people.
• Occupations do differ in level of perceived creepiness. Clowns, taxidermists, sex-shop owners, and funeral directors were at the top of the list.
• Unpredictability is an important component of perceived creepiness.
• A variety of non-normative physical characteristics and nonverbal behaviors contribute to perceptions of creepiness.
• Participants did not believe that most creepy people realize they are creepy, nor did they believe that creepy people necessarily have bad intentions. However, they also believed that creepy people could not change.
• The most frequently mentioned creepy hobbies involved collecting things, such as dolls, insects, or body parts such as teeth. Bones or fingernails were considered especially creepy; the second most frequently mentioned creepy hobby involved some variation of "watching," such as taking pictures of people, watching children, pornography, and even bird watching.

The results are consistent with the idea that creepiness is a response to the ambiguity of threat. Non-normative non-verbal and emotional behaviors, unusual physical characteristics and hobbies, or suspect occupations set off our “creepiness detector." Men are considered more likely to be creepy by males and females alike; women are more likely to perceive sexual threat from creepy people.
We have not yet published our results, but we have presented at several conferences. And I plan to expand my study from creepy people to creepy places: We become uneasy, for example, in environments that are dark and/or offer a lot of hiding places for potential predators and also lack clear, unobstructed views of the landscape. These environmental qualities have been called “prospect” and "refuge” by British geographer Jay Appleton. Fear of crime and a pervasive sense of unease are experienced in environments with less than optimal combinations of prospect and refuge. In creepy places as with creepy people, I expect to find that it is not the clear presence of danger that creeps us out, but rather the uncertainty of whether danger is present or not.

肩頸一直都這麼硬！！ 「9個動作」解救你的頸椎，低頭族的福音！

2015-05-25 / 作者 : 貝貝 / 77120

今天小編要推薦9個簡單的小動作，回家的捷運上就可以開始做，有助於緩解一天工作和學習的疲勞，解救頸椎哦~

This Simple Trick Can Help You Concentrate at Work

One step closer to becoming employee of the month.

By Samantha Zabell

 

 

Feeling trapped at work? Head to the nearest window and try to find a park or tree to stare at for a bit—new research from University of Melbourne suggests that looking at greenery could boost concentration. What’s more, you don’t even need to take a long break—just 40 seconds can make a difference.

Researchers gave 150 students a boring computer task, and then offered them a 40-second break halfway through the experiment. Half of the students were shown an image of a plain, concrete roof; the other half saw a roof with a flowering meadow. Once they resumed their number-punching activity, the students who saw the greenery made fewer errors and demonstrated higher levels of concentration than the other group. While this experiment used students, these findings, published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, seem to apply to anyone spending all day indoors at a desk.

"It's really important to have micro-breaks. It's something that a lot of us do naturally when we're stressed or mentally fatigued," lead researcher Dr. Kate Lee said in a statement. "There's a reason you look out the window and seek nature, it can help you concentrate on your work and to maintain performance across the workday.”

If you don’t work near a park, there are other ways to reap the benefits of greenery while sitting at your desk—a recent UK study, for instance, found that office plants were correlated with a 15 percent productivity boost. And even just looking out the window can help, according to researchers from Northwestern Medicine, who found in one study that workers who were exposed to natural light slept better and experienced higher quality of life.

Next, Lee’s team plans to investigate the relationship between green workplaces and employee creativity and helpfulness.

先練習小退休，安排時間享用人生

先練習小退休，安排時間享用人生
最好的退休準備，就是趁年輕的時候，給自己「小退休」的機會，練習一旦自己完全擁有時間跟自由，要怎麼享用人生。
「小退休」可以用很多種不同的方式，在不同的人生階段出現。可以是年輕人的「間隔年」（gap year） ， 可以是青年的海外打工度假， 也可以是在職涯中脫離傳統朝九晚五、尋找適合自己的工作模式。
一位原本在台灣是穩定的上班族， 工作了幾年後決定於二○一三年出發到韓國打工度假的讀者朋友，曾經跟我分享她的韓國經驗：
「因為考慮到服務業多少會有業績壓力，不想在國外賺錢賺得有壓力，我選擇了沒有壓力、安全、又高薪的工廠。工廠大部分在京畿道，距離首爾才一個多小時，我 在工廠工作了八、九個月，存了不少錢，中途還出國玩呢！當然我也很會花，因為韓國的化妝品、衣服真的很好買，又有一堆美味甜點。我現在把存的那些錢拿來繳 學費，去語言堂上課，真的很開心又充實地享受首爾生活，我很開心自己撐過來，也感謝自己當初選擇先苦後甘是對的。」
在年輕的時候， 有過這樣的練習， 知道如何做選擇， 就好像學會騎腳踏車， 一旦學會了，無論中間有多久沒有再騎車，你的身體都不會忘記那種感受。在醫學上，這種記憶叫做程序記憶（procedural memory），又稱為內隱記憶（implicit memory），指關於技術、過程、或「如何做」的記憶，一旦內化，可以非常持久。除了騎腳踏車之外，鍵盤打字、使用樂器或是游泳都屬於程序記憶，通常不 容易改變，且可以在不自覺的情況下啟動。
聽起來雖然簡單，但是只知道理論上怎麼騎腳踏車（還不簡單？不過就是保持平衡，一直踩踏板嗎？）卻沒有實際上學習過騎腳踏車的人，在需要的時候，就不可能有這種能力。
這是為什麼，在海外打工度假的人，學習的不只是年輕人的自立，同時也學會了退休後如何享用人生的方法。
《1份工作11種視野：改變你未來命運的絕對工作術》
褚士瑩◎著

生命和諧的2項原則：莫為小事抓狂、這些都是芝麻小事 文字：tianesu VOGUE.TW | 圖片：TPG | 來源：時報出版《練習當好命人》 | 更新：4/29/2015 29 DAYS AGO

我這一代最偉大的發現就是，一個人可以藉由改變自己的態度，來改變一生。──美國心理學、哲學始祖 威廉．詹姆斯（William James）
在《練習當好命人》書裡，分享非常明確的策略，幫助你用更優雅的態度來面對人生。這些也是作者最喜歡的人生態度：隨順因緣的人生 態度。每一條方法其實都很簡單，但是卻很有用，可以指引你走向更寬廣的視野，以及更放鬆的生活態度。你會發現，許多策略不僅可以用來應付個別事件，還可以 用來處理許多生命中的難關。只要你願意試試這些方法，你將能學會生命和諧的兩項原則：（一）莫為小事抓狂，（二）這些都是芝麻小事。當你把這些想法納入你 的生活時，你就可以開始創造一個更心平氣和、更有愛心的自己。



別浪費精力為小事抓狂
我們經常為了一些事情抓狂，但其實仔細想一想，這些都不是什麼大不了的事。我們只是在鑽牛角尖，把問題擴大而已。比方說，有個陌 生人在路上突然超車到我們前面，就一整天無法釋懷，還說服自己應該要生氣。我們不斷地在心中假想衝突的畫面，有些人還會四處告訴別人這件倒楣事，就是不肯 輕易忘懷。
不妨同情一下這個人，並且記住匆匆忙忙有多痛苦。這樣一來，我們既可以維持自己內心的平衡，還可以避免把別人的問題扯到自己的身上來。
我們的日常生活中，每天都有許多類似的「小事」，像是不得不排隊，或是聽偏頗的批評而無法辯白，或是吃重的工作都落到自己頭上 等。如果我們能學會不要為小事煩惱，就可以獲得莫大的回報。許多人就是浪費了太多的精力在「為小事抓狂」，結果完全忽略了生命的神奇與美妙。當你決心朝這 個目標去努力，你就會發現，你有更多的精力可以讓自己變得更慈愛溫柔。

不必執著於非得完成所有事情不可
有許多人過日子的方式，好像有一個祕密目標，非要把一切事情都做完不可。我們熬夜、早起、不敢放縱逸樂、讓我們所愛的人一直等下 去。可悲的是，我看過太多人就是因為讓他們所愛的人等太久，最後對方終於放棄了這段感情。以前，我就是這個樣子。我們通常會說服自己，忙得不可開交只是暫 時的，一旦做完了該做的事，我們就能平靜放鬆，並且心情愉快。事實上，這樣的境界永遠不會到來，因為舊的事情剛做完，新的立刻接踵而至。
「待辦清單」只意味著你有些事情尚待處理，並不表示你得全部辦完。人永遠都有沒打完的電話、未結案的計畫、未完成的工作。事實 上，我們甚至可以說，一個滿滿的待辦清單才是成功的要素，因為這表示你的時間很寶貴！人生的目的並非完成所有事情，而是去享受生命旅途上的每一步，過著充 滿愛的生活，我就比較不會執著於非得完成所有事情不可的念頭。記住，在你離開人世的那一天，還是會留下未辦完的事需要別人代勞，而且也一定會有人來代勞 的！別浪費生命中的每一分每一秒，在做無謂的惋惜。


停止怪罪他人，你會重新獲得掌控權
當事情不符合我們的期望時，許多人都會做這樣的假設：「這一定是別人的錯。」放眼望去，到處都可以看到這樣的事情：東西不見了， 一定是有人動了它；車子狀況不對，一定是修車廠沒修好；入不敷出，一定是你的配偶太會花錢了；房子一團糟，所以一定只有你一個人在收拾整理；計畫耽擱了， 所以你的同事一定沒盡到他該盡的責任等等。
這類怪罪他人的想法已經在我們的文化中變成稀鬆平常的事。在個人的層面上，它讓我們不必為自己的行為、問題或幸福負全責；從社會 層面說來，它導致了草率的訴訟與荒謬的藉口，讓罪犯消遙法外。當我們陷入怪罪他人的習性時，我們會將自己的憤怒、挫折、沮喪、壓力和不快樂都歸咎到他人頭 上。
說到個人的幸福，當你怪罪別人時，你是無法得到安寧的。有時別人和或環境當然也加重了我們的問題，可是，我們自己應該利用這個機 會為自己的幸福負責。時勢不會造就一個人，時勢只是讓人流露出本性。當你不再怪罪他人時，人生也會變得比較有趣，比較容易掌握。試試看會發生什麼事。


即使離開人世，還是會有沒做完的事
你什麼時候會死亡呢？五十年後，二十年後，十年後，五年後，今天？上次我問這個問題時，沒人答覆我。我常常在想，每次聽新聞的時 候，都不曉得那個在下班途中出車禍的人，是否記得告訴家人他有多愛他們？他生前不知過得好不好？懂不懂得愛？或許唯一可以確定的是，他一定還有尚未完成的 事情。
事實上，沒人知道我們能夠活多久。但悲哀的是，我們的所作所為，卻好像以為自己可以活一輩子。我們拖延了內心想做的事：告訴我們 深愛的人我們有多關心他們、花一些時間獨處、拜訪好朋友、徒步旅行、跑馬拉松賽跑、寫一封真心誠意的信、帶女兒去釣魚、學打坐、成為一個懂得傾聽的人等 等。我們想出各種複雜的理由來讓自己的行為合理化，浪費時間和精力去做一些無關痛癢的事。我們一再說自己不行，結果自己就真的不行。
建議你把每一天當作臨終之日來活，應該是很恰當的。這個建議不是要你去冒險，或是拋棄責任；而是要提醒你，生命何等珍貴。
有位朋友曾經說過：「人生太重要了，不應該過得太嚴肅。」十年後，我終於知道他是對的。我希望這本書能夠繼續幫助你。請不要忘記最基本的訣竅：別為小事抓狂！

設計 居然差這麼多？只要 3 個步驟 教你把女友拍成身高 170 的長腿正妹！

 你時常聽到女孩對男生說：「你怎麼把我拍得照麼醜！這麼矮啦！」，很多女生都需要一個會拍照的男朋友，居住在上海的大陸女生「蕾蕾爱上纯天然 」就在網路上分享自己如何把別人調教成拍照高手，讓自己美一張照片出來都是長腿正妹，即使拍照的人都是完全不會用相機，也能夠輕鬆上手。

1.拍照設備－廣角（有拉長的效果）
廣角在我們的生活中隨處可見，手機，自拍神器都是廣角，當然如果你有單反的廣角鏡那就更加的完美了。

2.構圖比例
經過這幾年地不斷實踐，總結了黃金比例給大家參考，只要記住：腳貼底，頭留空，腿交叉，170就在眼前。

a) 腳要貼底
如左圖腳一定要緊貼照片底邊，不要裁掉，右圖的錯誤示範就是千萬別把人物放在中間，不然差不多的姿勢，瞬間就矮了 20 公分。

▼腳貼到底的重要性

b) 頭要留空
腳貼邊很重要，但是只有腳貼邊還是不夠的，頭上要留空間，我對比了很多自己和別的照片，留空在30%到70%都可以，但最好的還是40%-50%，如果空 間留的太多會顯得人小，如果少了，人就明顯有壓迫的感覺，所以從下圖不難可以看出，第一張天空留60%人比較小，而最後一張留25%的顯得明顯擁擠了。

3.腿並攏交叉

▼同樣的原理都可以用在橫過來坐著和站著的照片

女孩們看完是不是覺得超實用？沒想到原來要把腿拍長，居然只要這麼簡單的 3 個步驟，快將這篇傳給男朋友看，親手把他調教成拍照達人，拜託把我拍高一點，姐的長腿就靠你了！
 http://www.juksy.com/archives/45341

4 Steps to Shake a Bad Mood

Expert advice to retake control of your mood, and your day.

Post published by Gregory L. Jantz Ph.D. on May 12, 2015 in Hope for Relationships

 Everyone experiences a bad mood or a case of the blues sometimes. If you wake up feeling down, or catch yourself slipping into a state of melancholy throughout the day, remember that we each have ultimate control over our moods. Regardless of what is going on around you, these 4 steps can quickly help lift your spirits:

1. Go outside. Sometimes the last thing we want to do when we’re feeling down in the dumps is to step outside of our current situation. But instead of dwelling in your funk, try going for a quick walk, even just for five minutes around the block. Draw in a few deep breaths of fresh air. Notice the natural world around you; observe any flowers blooming, animals being active, and the sound and feeling of the wind. Whatever the weather, nature has an amazing healing effect on the human psyche and spirit.
    
2. Listen to uplifting music. Music can instantly transport you to a different state of feeling and being. Try creating a playlist of favorite songs that put a smile on your face. Try to select songs that have an upbeat tempo and lyrics—songs that would make up the score to sunlight piercing through dark clouds. When you feel down, push PLAY and let this soundtrack get you back on a happier path.
    
3. Make a gratitude list. That which we focus on becomes our reality. Sometimes we feel blue because we get bogged down thinking about our shortcomings and misfortunes. Instead, make a list of 10 things you are grateful for, right now, in this very moment. Who are the people that support you? What events in your life have brought you lasting joy? In what ways is your life abundant? Everyone has real answers to these questions. Dig deep and reflect on the things and people that bring light to your life.
    
4. Call a friend. It’s easy to compartmentalize our friendships and assign them exclusively to texts and Facebook messages. While these types of communication are easy and convenient, they lack the human connection that truly fuels our souls. Sometimes, the thing we need most when we are in a funk is to hear the sound of a friend’s voice, as a reminder that you have real connections in this world. Think through your Rolodex of friends and relatives—especially the most upbeat and positive people—and give one a call.

While simple, these four activities can provide relief from a bad mood or a case of the blues. For some of us, however, the dark cloud never lifts. If you or someone you love is struggling and constantly feeling down, they could be suffering from depression and may need professional help.

To: Choo

珠，

你的情绪化、不平、妒忌、愤怒、不安、紧张、失眠等等消极的感觉，这一切都是暂时的。

面对环境，人们难免会有坏情绪。

珠，你已经做到最好了。

珠，其实你很棒。

你说，你一无所有。

其实物质的丰足并不是一切。

身外物，生不带来死不带去，只要有衣有食，我们也就应当知足。

你说，为什么别人怎么在工作上会获得如此成就，而自己却没法做到。

工作就是一分工作罢了，尽自己最大的努力，如果成绩依然未获得赞赏，那也可以通过自己那一关，我已经尽力了。

没升职没加薪，这一次不要紧。

不怕，因为下次一定轮到你。

那只是时间上的问题。

退一步海阔天空。

你说，老久了至今仍情归无处。

不，不是时间的问题。

你的等待只为了得到一个更好的人。

等时间到了，转角处，必然遇见。

现在所有的预备都是为了那日的相遇，所以，珠，不急。

给自己多一点时间，多一点沉淀。

珠，你就会好象美酒，越久越醇。

所以，一切事慢慢来，不急不急。

沉着的应对生话上面临的大小事。

快乐的，乐观的，带着微笑生活着，虽然有时候真的没有什么可以笑的事。

珠，试着在平淡的生活里发现可以让你微笑的事物。

也许偶尔你发觉不到，不要紧，这一次伪装的微笑，肯定会带来下一妙真诚的微笑。

珠，快乐要自己去寻找，勇敢的出去。

如果这一天你失败了，也不要紧。

一试再试，成功必定属于你。

珠，祝你快乐。