Single and Lonely? The Truth May Be Exactly the Opposite.

Bella DePaulo Ph.D. Living Single

Eye-opening studies of single people, married couples, and their social bonds.

Posted Sep 14, 2015

If you are single, you know what other people think about you (link is external)—poor thing, you are lonely and alone. That narrative is such a part of our conventional wisdom that we use words like "alone" and "unattached" as synonyms for being single. As more people live single, the story goes, the countries where they live become nations of isolates.
Science tells a different story.
Over the past decade, researchers have analyzed big, nationally representative datasets that tell us whether the single or married people are more likely to be doing what it takes to hold us all together. Some research, such as the most recently published analyses I'll describe below, compare people who have always been single with people who are currently married and those who were previously married. Those studies make it hard to draw any causal conclusions. But there is other relevant research, too, in which people who are single are followed over time as they stay single or get married. That lets us see how the exact same people behave when they go from being single to getting married, and gets us a little closer to suspecting whether getting married might have something to do with any changes in their behavior.
As it turns out, the two kinds of study tell the same story.
Two scholars who have made the most important contributions to this question of whether single people are social isolates or social glue are Natalia Sarkisian and Naomi Gerstel. In their just-published 2015 article, they analyzed one wave of data from the National Survey of Families and Households (1992-1994) and four years of data from General Social Survey (2000, 2004, 2006, and 2012 combined).
The authors were able to determine the percentage of people in each group (always-single; previously married; and currently married) who had:

1. Socialized with their neighbors at least several times a month.
2. Socialized with their friends at least several times a month.
3. In the past 12 months, seen their parents at least once a week.
4. In the past 12 months, seen their siblings at least once a week.
5. In the past month, given to friends, neighbors, or coworkers "any advice, encouragement, and moral or emotional support; help with shopping, errands, or transportation; help with housework, yard work, car repairs, or other work around the house; or help with child care."
6. In the past month, received the same kinds of help from the same kinds of people.
7. In the past month, given the same kinds of help to siblings.
8. In the past month, received the same kinds of help from siblings.
9. In the past month, given the same kinds of help to parents.
10. In the past month, received the same kinds of help from parents.

So, in total, there were 10 different measures of connection to other people. The authors compared always-single people to married people and to previously married people. They did that separately for the men and for the women. That's a total of 40 comparisons. (They also compared the previously married to the currently married, for all 10 measures—and separately for the men and the women.)

Source: Pressmaster/Shutterstock

Despite the huge amount of data and the potential for numbing complexity, the results were about as clear as they could be: In all 40 comparisons, the people who had always been single were most connected to other people. They were more often in contact with others, they socialized with them more often, and they exchanged help more often. That was true for their relationships with their parents and siblings as well as their friends and neighbors. Always-singles were more connected than previously married people were, and they were especially more connected than married people were. Both the men and the women who had always been single had the most robust social ties.
The previously married people were also more connected to others than the currently married people were, in all of the ways that were measured except for some of the results for exchanging help.
Of course, people who have always been single might differ from currently married (or previously married) people in various ways. Could the differences in connecting, staying in touch, socializing, and exchanging help be better explained by one of those other factors? For example, maybe the differences are about having kids or not, and not about marital status.
The authors analyzed the data, controlling for factors such as age, the number of kids people had, employment status, education, income—and, in analyses of connections with parents and siblings, health, and distance from the family members. Mostly, the results stayed the same: The always-single people were the most connected, and the currently married, the least. In some instances, the results were even stronger once other factors were taken into account. This means that always-single people's greater rate of connecting with others cannot be explained by not having kids, working fewer hours, being at a different point in their life course, or any of the other explanations suggested by the factors controlled for in the analyses.
The results describe people of different marital statuses only in the United States and only at certain points in time. As the authors note, we cannot know from these data alone whether the patterns are specific to the ways marriage and single life are practiced just in this country and just in recent decades. The findings, though, are consistent with what has been called the "greedy marriage" hypothesis. Marriage in the United States today seems to gobble up married people's time and attention. It is as if, once married, couples are just not into anyone else any more—not their friends, neighbors, siblings, or parents. Mostly, it is just the two of them.

What Science Tells Us About Passionate Love

Answered by Arthur Aron

Sept. 24, 2015

The honeymoon phase doesn't have to end

Love doesn’t last for many people. Studies have found declines in relationship satisfaction, and specifically in passionate love, starting from about the time of marriage and continuing to go down for years. But for some people, passionate love—intensity, engagement, and sexual interest—over time is possible. Research by my collaborators and me has shown that the honeymoon phase can last.

In a 2011 nationally representative U.S. survey led by Dr. Daniel O’Leary, we asked respondents to rate how in love they were with their partner on a seven-point scale from “not at all in love” to “very intensely in love.” To our surprise, more than 40% of those married 10 years or longer selected “very intensely in love.” Of course we don’t know how they defined love, and it’s always possible people are deceiving themselves or trying to make a good impression. Still, the results are striking.

More interesting, in a brain scan study led by Dr. Bianca Acevedo that year, we specifically sought out couples married at least 10 years who claimed to be intensely, passionately in love. We showed them pictures of their partners as well as a familiar neutral person. Our studies, like similar ones with newly in-love couples, found that when people look at a picture of someone with whom they’re intensely in love, the “dopamine reward system” part of the brain is activated. The only notable difference from those newly in love was that the long-term lovers did not also show activation in brain areas associated with anxiety.

What makes passionate love possible after so many years? Studies have shows these factors can help make a relationship work:

• Not being under high stress (which can be tough in high levels of poverty or crime)
• Not being highly depressed, anxious, or insecure (which can be helped through therapy, learning to meditate or medication)
• Having good communication skills and being able to handle conflicts well
• Having strong support from extended family, especially after having children

Beyond just making a relationship work, here are some practices shown to increase relationship quality:

• Doing things with your partner that are novel and challenging
• Celebrating your partner’s successes
• Expressing your appreciation, gratitude for what your partners does for you
• Deepening friendships with other couples

We don’t know yet if every couple can keep the flame going for years. But we do know some can, and we know a lot about what you can do to make your relationship strong and to increase passionate love. So don’t just assume it’s normal if you’re not in a great relationship—do something about it!

Arthur Aron, Ph.D., is Research Professor, Stony Brook University, and Visiting Scholar, University of California, Berkeley

Here's a Reason to Smile: Happy People Live Longer

New research finds happier people live longer, on average, while angry ones are more likely to die early.

Are you one of those people who regularly flies into a rage? If so, you might want to seriously consider taking up meditation, or trying some type of therapy to get a better handle on your temper.

Otherwise, you might pay the ultimate price: an early death.

That's the conclusion of new research published in the journal Social Science and Medicine. The study followed a large sample of American men over time, and found one particular trait—a propensity to get angry—was an excellent predictor of whether they'd still be alive 35 years later.

Meanwhile, a separate study published in the same journal finds a strong relationship between happiness and longevity. It suggests that, the happier you are, the better your chances of living a long life.

"Happiness appears to be inversely related to perceived stress, and may protect against illness through better immune response."

So Lewis Black is hastening his own death, but lengthening the lives of his delighted fans. Who knew he was such a selfless guy?

Let's start with the good news. A research team led by Elizabeth Lawrence of the University of North Carolina–Chapel Hill, examined data on 31,481 Americans, which was collected as part of the General Social Survey between 1978 and 2002. The researchers noted whether each was still alive in 2008, and then looked at their answers to various survey questions decades earlier.

The primary question they looked at was: "Taken all together, how would you say things are these days—would you say that you are very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?" The research team also noted various factors that have been shown to influence well-being, including marital status, education, income, and religiosity.

They report that 31.4 percent of adult Americans described themselves as "very happy," while 56.9 percent called themselves "pretty happy," and only 11.6 percent "not too happy." More to the point, they found "the level of happiness reported at the time of the interview is related to the risk of death years later."

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"Compared to very happy people, the risk of death over the follow-up period is 6 percent higher among those who are pretty happy, and 14 percent higher who are not happy, even after controlling for an array of demographic, socioeconomic, and lifestyle-related factors," they write.

In hindsight, this isn't too surprising. As the researchers point out, "Happiness appears to be inversely related to perceived stress, and may protect against illness through better immune response."

The anger study was conducted by a research team led by Iowa State University's Amelia Karraker. These researchers looked at "35 years (1972-2007) of data from men ages 20 to 40 in the Panel Study of Income Dynamics, a nationally representative sample in the U.S."

The 1,307 male heads of households were asked a series of questions annually from 1968 through 1972, including whether they "get angry fairly easily" or, conversely, if it takes "a lot to get them angry." Their answers for each of the five yearly surveys were averaged.

The researchers report that, being among the angriest 25 percent (that is, men who reported that they angered fairly easily on at least two of the five surveys), "is associated with a 1.57 fold increase in the risk of dying at follow-up, compared with those in the bottom quartile."

What's more, the relationship between self-described anger and mortality remained robust after taking into account such factors as income, marital status, and whether they smoked cigarettes.

Again, the reasons for this are not really a mystery. "Prior work has linked anger with a variety of negative physiological processes, including atherosclerosis and endothelial dysfunction," they note, "which can lead to serious and potentially fatal health events such as heart attack."

Now, it's important to remember that repressing anger has also been linked with poor health. So the remedy is not to stuff the rage down, but rather to get at the deeper emotions it's likely covering up, such as fear, hurt, and even guilt.

Feeling those emotions—and admitting them to others—can be awfully painful, especially for men taught it's wrong and unmanly to be vulnerable. But aren't a few minutes of pain a decent trade-off for a few extra years of life?

Findings is a daily column by Pacific Standard staff writer Tom Jacobs, who scours the psychological-research journals to discover new insights into human behavior, ranging from the origins of our political beliefs to the cultivation of creativity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom Jacobs

Sep 25, 2015 

5 Simple Tricks to Make Stress Good for You

Parenting worries? Work anxiety? Sometimes they can actually help (really!).

By Abigail Wise

 

If you're always trying to fight stress, you're going about it all wrong, according Stanford psychologist Dr. Kelly McGonigal. Her new book The Upside of Stress, focuses on how stress can actually be good for you and how to get good at stress. We often hear about how deadly stress is for our hearts, blood pressure, and overall well being. But it turns out that stress might only be toxic when people believe it's harming them.
In one study that McGonigal cites in her book, high levels of stress increased participants' risk of dying by 43 percent, but the risk only applied to people who also thought that their stressful lives were harming their health. Those who reported stress, but did not feel it was hurting them, actually had the lowest risk of death of any in the study—even lower than those who reported less stressful lives.
Other research has suggested that the same may hold true for the connection between heart disease and stress, says McGonigal. It all boils down to stress mindset, a term coined by Dr. Alia Crum that means the way we perceive stress. In short, we need to stop thinking of it as the enemy. "The message that a stressful life is toxic makes you feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with you for experiencing stress or there's something fundamentally wrong with your life," says McGonigal.
The upside of stress is a concept most people understand at some level, especially the idea that we grow from adversity or that going through something difficult can bring us closer to people we care about, says McGonigal. Stress can also help us engage with challenges and perform better in trying situations. "If you talk to people about the benefits of stress, most people know it exists," she says. "But it's not what they're thinking about in moments of stress."
The trick is to remember a few simple mind resets when you find yourself in stressful situations. These exercises, recommended by McGonigal, can help you turn stress from something negative into something positive that benefits you:
1. Reframe your anxiety as energy. While most men experience stress in the form of anger, women more commonly feel anxiety as a result of stress. We feel physical symptoms, like sweating, heart pounding, and that adrenaline rush. When you experience those symptoms, it's important to remind yourself that your body is working with you, not against you. Research shows that feeling anxious can actually help you perform the task at hand better—even though many people believe the opposite to be true, says McGonigal. So the next time you feel your palms sweating before a big presentation, tell yourself that your body is ramping up to help you stay more alert and do your very best.
2. Remind yourself that you're not alone. When you find yourself awake at night, feeling overwhelmed by chronic worries, such as financial problems or a difficult health diagnosis, think of others who are going through the same struggle. "When stress feels isolating, it becomes toxic," says McGonigal. Focusing on others faced with similar obstacles will serve as a reminder that your life is not uniquely screwed up. And that extra moment can create a little breathing room between you and your stress.
3. Lend a hand. The next time you feel overwhelmed by stress, try this simple trick: Do something nice and unexpected for someone else. By turning your attention away from yourself and onto something bigger, you can reduce anxiety and increase hope and courage, says McGonigal. It's called the tend and befriend response, and that feel-good energy can give you a better perspective. 
When it comes to lending a hand, bigger doesn't necessarily mean better. You can walk a friend's dog or simply smile at your barista when you drop a few extra dollars in the tip jar. The most important part is that you do something nice, unexpected, and outside of your regular responsibility. "It's more likely that you'll get that warm glow boost of hope and self confidence when it's something that feels like you chose it," says McGonigal.
4. Pay attention to how others worry. Pay attention to how your friends and family deal with anxiety. When someone is anxious about an upcoming job interview, remind him or her that stress shows how important the opportunity is. By sharing this perspective, your friend may do the same for you the next time you feel worried (or you might be able to do it for yourself).
5. Reflect on your growth. Dwelling on a situation that didn't go as planned can cause major stress. In situations like these, it's a good idea to think about what you've learned. Use it as an opportunity to reflect and grow. Approaching stress with this mindset has two benefits: In the short-term, it takes some of the negativity out of the worry you're feeling. In the long-term, it has the power to change how you'll handle tough situations next time. "It's easier than people think because you don't have to be 100 percent committed," says McGonigal. "Even being aware that you're trying can make a difference."

先讓自己成為對的人，你就能吸引正確的人

九月 27, 2015 0

一個人的人生效率怎麼樣才能是最高的，同時對人生的滿意度也是最高的呢？
那就是你今天喜歡的東西正好就是你的職業，而這個職業就是你學的那個專業；
你愛的人正好就是你嫁的人，你嫁了很多年之後發現你嫁得還真的很對
——這就是理想的人生。
——袁嶽

怎樣找到自己喜歡的工作呢？
先從喜歡你自己的價值開始，你就能順著你的心找到你喜歡的工作
怎樣找到自己的真命天子或天女呢？
先讓自己成為對的人開始，你就能吸引正確的人出現在你生命裡
閱讀主編  鄭俊德

恐懼讓我們都看不清自己

九月 26, 2015 174

雖然不喜歡，可是我們無法否認的是再堅強的人都會有覺得恐懼的時候。恐懼的源頭有很多，可能來自於死亡、疾病、事業、將來、別人目光、自我期許等等。有時候，適當的危機感能帶給人們前進的動力，讓人進步；但當那一點危機感變成恐懼，人很容易看不清楚自己，甚至乎失去自已。
試想想你現在做的事，你的工作，你的生活模式，你的感情關係，你的人際網絡，有多少是真的乎合你喜歡的，你想要的？可能你會說，人生在世，哪有這麼 完美，一切盡如你想。可是，我又好奇，人生在世，為什麼我的生活不能盡如我所想？如果我的一生只有匆匆80載，難道我的人生就只為了一句世事豈能盡如人意 而將就將就？
我喜歡睡到自然醒，卻為著工作每朝6點鐘爬起床；我喜歡旅行，卻因為工作而抽身不得；我喜歡家庭，卻因為工作而將其忽略。我們喜歡很多，但做的往往 是我們不喜歡的。原因何在？因為我們恐懼未知的將來。我們一直覺得我們現在的犧牲，是為了將來一個安穩的幸福。現在的犧牲了我想要的生活，但我有一份穩定 的工作，穩定的收入，不用害怕將來會有任何不測。所以，你為了一個未知的將來，將你現在可能擁有的幸福扼殺掉，而諷刺的是當你終於到達你那未知的將來時， 發現你依然是過著你不太喜歡的生活，做著一份你不太喜歡的工作，為著你那更遙遠的未知將來而過著將就將就的生活。慢慢地，一生便過去了。
當然，人是要為未來而計劃。錢，是要儲備的；家庭，是要照顧的；將來，是要考慮的。只是能做到上述的，是否只有將就將就才能達成？還是，其實只要我們放下對未知的恐懼好好思考，會發現其實我們是可以為自己而活得好一些，找到一個兩全其美的生活法則。

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作者：豬豬仔仔
本文由創作者投稿授權閱讀社群 http://www.read-life.com 轉載請標明作者與出處

13 Valuable Skills That You Won’t Learn in School

Kathleen Elkins / Business Insider @businessinsider Sept. 25, 2015

 

  

 

Master the ability to accept and move on

Many of life’s most important skills cannot be taught in a classroom. They’re acquired by living, observing others, and making mistakes.

The great thing about being surrounded by people who have experienced more than you is being able to pick their brains. We turned to a recent Quora thread that asked users for the most valuable skill a person can have for their entire life.

After sorting through the responses, here are our 13 favorites:

1. Articulating what you think and feel

“It’s extremely important for a person to learn to put into words what he thinks. It makes a relationship last. It creates an impression on the person you’re talking to. It gives you a chance to explore what others think about your ideas.” —Quora user Abhishek Padmasale

2. “Stealing” from the greats

“If you want to be successful, you must learn to steal! Or, ‘model.’ Modeling is a process of going in and figuring out what the expert does. If you want to be successful in life, find someone who is great and attach to them at the hip. As Pablo Picasso said: ‘Good artists copy. Great artists steal.'” —Quora user Martin Armstrong

3. Self-discipline

“With self-discipline and perseverance you can acquire any skill. We all make resolutions throughout the year. The only thing stopping us from completing all these resolutions is ourselves. An inner voice within us stops us from waking up early in the morning or meeting new people. If we have proper self discipline we can suppress this voice and live a life that is defined by our own rules.” —Quora user Nikant Vohra

4. Knowing what you don’t know

“The only difference between the guy who achieves his own definition of success and the guy who doesn’t, is that one of them knew what questions to ask. One of them knew what needed to be improved upon. One of them decided to be honest about what it is they don’t know.”

—Quora user Nicolas Cole

5. Charisma

“You can be broke, unintelligent, foolish, and physically unattractive and still be successful if you have the ability to make other people genuinely want to help you. Charismatic people are easy to recognize; they’re the ones you can’t help but like. They make other people feel good about themselves, are always present in the moment in your conversation, and have an uncanny ability to inspire trust.” —Quora user Michael Graham

6. The ability to accept and move on

“Accept that life can’t always be the way you want. Accept that everyone in the world can’t behave the way you want them to. Accept that you can’t keep everyone happy. Accept that worrying won’t do any good. Accept that your happiness lies in your hands.” —Quora user Shruti Chopade

7. Thinking differently

“Do something better than anyone else in the world, even if what you do best has a very tiny niche. Being able to do something that 100 million other people can do, while potentially important, is likely not nearly as valuable as having a skill that is unique.” —Quora user Auren Hoffman

8. Empathy

“We all have our demons. Being able to recognize that everyone is fighting their own battle (regardless of how trivial it may seem to you) is a formidable skill to have. It allows for understanding, which often paves the way to friendship, rapport, and a multitude of other fundamental dynamics that allow us to foster real and lasting relationships.” —Quora user Ajay Nayr

9. Turning obstacles into opportunities

“Obstacles are everywhere. The weak are broken by it, the strong survive it, and the great turn it into opportunities. What matters most is not what these obstacles are, but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.” —Quora user Atul Pradhananga

10. Reading quickly

“Learn to read very quickly with high retention. Tony Robbins taught himself to speed read by reading one book a day. Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger spend 80% of their day reading. 86% of wealthy love reading. It is one of the few skills that can directly create other skills.” —Quora user Sam Yang

11. Mastering graceful confrontation

“Mastering this skill sets your mind free. It not only eases the unwanted stress, but it also gives positivity to an individual because he/she has no underlying layers of emotions towards a certain person. Confront. Say you have a problem. Sort it out. Be happy.” —Quora user Neha Kariyaniya

12. Not taking conflict personally

“Whenever we are engaged in a heated discussion with someone we tend to listen more with the intent of replying, than actually understanding his point of view. We try to combat by bringing things from the past and let our preconceived notions about the other person cloud our judgment. “Respond to his points, not his behavior.” —Quora user Manas J. Saloi

13. Making people smile

“To make people laugh and not hurt anybody’s feeling is not an easy task. The people with this beautiful skill can tackle any situation.” —Quora user Hitha Sudhi

This article originally appeared on Business Insider

「什麼都有，就是不快樂？」學習如何擁有快樂的能力

文字：Mini Chen  VOGUE.TW |  來源：Soren Jepsen |  更新：1/29/2015  7 MONTHS AGO
儘管人們經常在心裡想著：「只要我擁有了那樣東西或達成了既定目標，一定會變得更快樂！」然 而，事實是，當你擁有了某樣曾夢寐以求的東西後，接下來你很可能會想要更多；快樂跟一個人擁有的物質條件非成正比，快樂還很容易受到各種內、外在因素所影 響，天氣、禮拜一、一根亂翹的頭髮、一句很可能只是無心的話，都可能在瞬間讓快樂消失無蹤！雖然快樂看似這麼難以掌握，不過還是有幾項訣竅可以幫助你找 到、留住快樂：

微笑的力量

「如果你的表情快樂，你的思緒很快也會跟上表情所呈現出的樣子！」費城天普大學的心理學家Kareem J. Johnson解釋道：「舉例來說，當人們處在負面情緒中時，他們的眼神只注意到眼前的事物；相反的，正面情緒可以幫助人們看得更全面。有趣的發現是，在相關實驗中，不見得只有心裡充滿正面能量的人才能獲得這項好處，臉上堆滿笑容也能達到相同好處喔！」

食物選擇跟你想得不一樣

你以為吃下一袋軟糖會讓你更快樂，事實卻不盡然如此！由墨爾本迪肯大學科學家Felice N. Jacka所主導的實驗發現，以加工肉、披薩、炸雞、麵包、糖和啤酒為主的西方飲食模式，讓憂鬱的機率提升高達52%；出乎意料的，看起來相當健康，以水果、沙拉、魚、豆腐、優格和紅酒無主的飲食模式，也對提升快樂、減少憂鬱情緒沒有顯著幫助！如果你想要快樂的話，多吃蔬果、草食肉類(grass-fed meat)、魚和全麥的食物組合，實驗證實這樣的組合對於抑制憂鬱可以發揮高達32%~35%的表現。

  

運動，真的可以帶來快樂

「有氧運動可以抵銷的負面情緒，大概跟處方抗憂鬱藥不相上下！」上述言論來自德克薩斯大學達拉斯西南醫學中心的精神病學家Madhukar Trivedi，在他主導的研究中，一群沒有運動習慣並受憂鬱所苦，而且在藥物治療後依然沒有起色的受試者，接受了包含跑步機、飛輪、快走在內的運動課程，同時持續服用相同的抗憂鬱藥物，12週後，有30%的人不再憂鬱，20%的人也有相當程度的進步。就沒有家族憂鬱病史的女性而言，密集運動帶來快樂情緒的效果更有效。

重視你的家人和朋友

哈佛大學心理學教授兼《Stumbling on Happiness》一書作者Daniel Gilbert說：「關於快樂，有一個 全球通用的法則。那就是社交關係的範圍與品質跟一個人的快樂高度相關；當我問人們你寧可失去你的朋友還是你的視力時，人們往往花很長的時間思考，然而，事 實上多數的盲人其實活得非常快樂，不快樂的通常是那些沒有朋友的人。多花點時間跟家人、朋友在一起吧，他們會是你最好的情緒支柱。」

試著不要過度反應

這是一個常見的現象，我們總認為當壞事發生時會對我們帶來深遠的不良影響，哈佛大學心理學教授Daniel Gilbert說：「如果你請人們想像失去手足、摯愛或工作，人們通常預期自己會崩潰、而且可能長期活在絕望壓抑的情緒中；然而研究證實，即使遇上最壞的狀況，人們傷心的時間其實比想像中還要短！在不如意時，人類其實很擅長於找到其他看世界的角度，讓自己重新開始。」

8 Financial Truths That Can Change Your Life

The answer to many questions about personal finances isn’t black or white. There are so many variables, choices, and potential outcomes for most situations that, in many cases, the best answer is simply: it depends.
But you won’t hear any uncertain or unsatisfying financial advice in this episode. I’m going to cover eight financial truths that apply to everyone in every situation. They have the power to transform your financial life—if you let them.

Financial Truth #1: Money doesn’t buy happiness

Researchers have shattered the illusion that having more money makes you happier.
They say earning about $75,000 a year is the sweet spot. That’s a national average that varies depending on where you live. Happiness costs more in big, expensive cities like New York and San Francisco.
Earning $75,000 allows the average American to pay for comfortable housing, have reliable transportation, eat well, take an occasional vacation, and save for the future.
If you earn 20% more, that’s fantastic, but it’s not likely to make you 20% happier.
In other words, money definitely can buy comfort and security. But once you have a moderate amount of stability and income, having more doesn’t make you incrementally happy.
My level of happiness has generally been about the same throughout my entire life, no matter my level of wealth. I think most people are born with a happy thermostat or set point that doesn’t change drastically, no matter how much they have in the bank.

Financial Truth #2: Your earning power is your most valuable asset

While your home or retirement account may hold a lot of value, your ability to earn money is ultimately what allows you to build wealth. Your financial life will completely stall out if you can’t earn income.
Since your earning power trumps everything, you need to protect it like a junkyard dog. Disability insurance was designed to replace a percentage of your income if you get into a debilitating accident or get sick during your working years.
You may have the option to buy short- or long-term disability coverage through work. If not, or if the coverage isn’t enough, you can buy a policy on your own through many of the big-name insurance companies.
And being in good shape, both physically and mentally, allows you to perform at the top of your game and earn what you’re worth.
So take your health just as seriously as your wealth, by eating more nutritious foods, cutting sugary snacks, working up a sweat every day, and going to bed earlier so you get plenty of sleep and feel as rested as possible every morning.

Financial Truth #3: The cost of your time should guide you

Many times we spend money frivolously or overspend because we don’t focus enough on the cost of our time.
For instance, let’s say you earn $20 per hour as a graphic designer and you see a beautiful pair of shoes online that cost $300. Before you reach for your credit card, do some quick math and divide your after-tax hourly wage into the price of the shoes.
For the sake of this example, assume that your average tax rate is 25%. That means your take-home pay would be $15 ($20 x 0.75) per hour. If you divide $300 by $15 per hour you see that you’d have to work 20 hours to pay for those shoes. If that idea doesn’t thrill you or feel completely worth it, forget about the shoes.
Calculating the value of your time is a powerful way to really understand what something costs. If you’re paid a salary, here’s a quick way to figure your pre-tax hourly rate: Take off the last 3 zeros from your annual salary and divide that number in half.
For example, if you earn $60,000 a year, strip off the last 3 zeros, which gives you $60, and divide by 2. You earn about $30 an hour. Then to get an after-tax ballpark, take about 20% to 25% off that number, which leaves you with approximately $23 an hour.
Not only can figuring the value of your time help you rein in spending, but it’s also a guide for when to hire people. If you need help with chores like yard work, house cleaning, or running errands, and can afford to pay someone less than you earn to do them, it makes sense to hire the help.

Financial Truth #4: You must spend less than you make

The only way to get ahead financially is to make sure you have discretionary income. That’s the amount you have left over at the end of the month after all your essential living expenses are paid. It comes from having more cash flowing in than you have expenses flowing out.
Without discretionary income, you simply don’t have the ability to save and invest, at least not without also going into debt. Living paycheck to paycheck may take care of your immediate wants and needs, but it’s extremely dangerous because you’re kicking a financial can down the road.
The trade-off for spending all of your paycheck today is a future with no financial security. In order to be comfortable later on, you may need to feel slightly uncomfortable today.
So secure your earning power, cut unnecessary spending, and evaluate your financial priorities carefully.

Financial Truth #5: You’ll accomplish more by paying yourself first

I don’t know who originally came up with the phrase pay yourself first, but it’s a golden rule of personal finance. It means you should save and invest before you pay anyone else.
I highly recommend that you put your savings on autopilot so it happens in the background without you having to think about it or do anything. Automation is what makes workplace retirement plans, such as a 401(k) or 403(b), work so well. Contributions come out of your paycheck before you ever get the chance to spend them.
You can create a similar system by having money transferred out of your checking account into an IRA or a savings account as soon as you get paid. Making consistent contributions, even if they’re small, goes a long way toward building financial safety nets, like an emergency fund and a retirement nest egg.

Financial Truth #6: Your financial past is irrelevant

In the business world, a cost that you’ve already incurred and can’t recover is called a sunk cost. The term comes from the oil industry where you spend a lot of money to dig a well, but may not find any oil. What do you do next, keep digging in that same well or spend more to dig another one?
Both companies and individuals have to make decisions based on what’s best for their futures, not based on bad moves or hardships that occurred in the past.
We all have personal sunk costs we wish we could get back, like bad investments, purchases that we really didn’t need, or unexpected bills. Don’t dwell on them. Feeling sorry for yourself or being regretful doesn’t accomplish anything.
Make decisions and move forward based on what’s best for your future, not according to what challenges you may have had in the past.

The more time you have to make investments and allow them to compound, the less you need to invest to achieve your goal. 

Financial Truth #7: Investing early turbo-charges your success

One of the most important financial concepts and truths to understand is that investing early is magical. It isn’t always easy; but it can make the difference between poverty and comfort in the future.
The more time you have to make investments and allow them to compound, the less you need to invest to achieve your goal. For instance, if I want to retire with over one million dollars, I just need to invest $300 a month starting in my 20s. That’s a total of $144,000 out of my pocket.
But if I don’t start saving for that million-dollar goal until I’m in my mid-40s, I have to invest $1,700 per month, which is over $400,000 out of pocket. The earlier you start investing, the cheaper your future becomes.
So don’t start planning and saving for retirement too late in your working life. Begin the habit of investing a minimum of 10% to 15% of your gross income for the long term every month, no matter what’s going on with the stock market.
You’re in the investing game for the long term and simply can’t afford to wait. Start small and start now.

Financial Truth #8: More of the same gets more of the same

Doing the same things you’ve always done will give you the same results that you’ve always gotten. In other words, repeating the same bad choices will give you the same problems.
If you’re not making slow, steady progress to improve your financial life and build wealth, you may need to radically rethink your strategy. Try something different, like moving into a smaller home or apartment, driving an old car instead of buying a new one, finding a better-paying job, or starting a side business for extra income.
Your success comes from your choices, like whether you spend your nights and weekends improving yourself or wasting them on too many video games and bad TV shows. Also consider how you spend your downtime at work. Use your lunch hour to read, study, build your professional network, or start a small business.
Successful people generally aren’t smarter or luckier than every else. But they do use their time more efficiently and make better choices more often than the average person.
So think carefully about how you’re spending time brings you closer to your goals or takes you farther away from them. Be courageous and forge your own path to success. You’ll be glad you did.

The answer to many questions about personal finances isn’t black or white. There are so many variables, choices, and potential outcomes for most situations that, in many cases, the best answer is simply: it depends.
But you won’t hear any uncertain or unsatisfying financial advice in this episode. I’m going to cover eight financial truths that apply to everyone in every situation. They have the power to transform your financial life—if you let them.
- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/money-finance/retirement/8-financial-truths-that-can-change-your-life?utm_source=realsimple&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=realsimple&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple#sthash.TUkVSEo4.dpuf

By

Laura Adams, MBA,

Money Girl

September 9, 2015

 1249 21 

- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/money-finance/retirement/8-financial-truths-that-can-change-your-life?utm_source=realsimple&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=realsimple&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple#sthash.TUkVSEo4.dpuf

By

Laura Adams, MBA,

Money Girl

September 9, 2015

 1249 21 

- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/money-finance/retirement/8-financial-truths-that-can-change-your-life?utm_source=realsimple&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=realsimple&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple#sthash.TUkVSEo4.dpuf

By

Laura Adams, MBA,

Money Girl

September 9, 2015

 1249 21 

- See more at: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/money-finance/retirement/8-financial-truths-that-can-change-your-life?utm_source=realsimple&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=realsimple&xid=soc_socialflow_facebook_realsimple#sthash.TUkVSEo4.dpuf

8 Financial Truths That Can Change Your Life

How to Crack the Code of Men’s Feelings

Barbara Markway Ph.D. Living the Questions

Research explores the "double bind" that leads to repression.

Posted Jan 18, 2014

The myth that men are unfeeling creates damaging relationship problems. Daphne Rose Kingma, author of The Men We Never Knew, has said:

"We've dismissed men as the feelingless gender—we've given up on them. Because of the way boys are socialized, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. Men are taught, point-by-point, not to feel, not to cry, and not to find words to express themselves."

Source: Stephanie Swartz/Shutterstock

Just because men aren't adept at expressing their feelings, don't for a minute think they don't feel, and feel deeply. Many times, men express their feelings using a secret code—a code that even they can't decipher.
Men may convert one feeling into another. Men may convert stereotypically feminine feelings, such as sadness or vulnerability, into feelings like anger or pride—feelings more socially acceptable for them to experience.
I remember a couple that came to see me in distress because they had recently learned their teenage daughter had been assaulted by a boyfriend. A major conflict arose because John was threatening to kill the boyfriend, upsetting his wife and daughter tremendously. They worried he might actually seek revenge and end up in jail. With some work, I was able to help John express his true feelings: He cried, stating that he felt responsible for what had happened—as though he should've been able to protect his daughter. He felt terribly sad that his daughter was going through such pain, and he fell justifiably angry. After he expressed the full range of his feelings, he no longer threatened to kill the young man and was better able to support his daughter in helpful ways.
Men may shift their feelings into another arena. Men may express emotions only in places where they feel safe, and where the expression of feelings is considered acceptable. Just look at how men act at sports events: It's not uncommon to see them express great exuberance and affection, giving each other hugs and high-fives. Football and hockey players, thought of as some of the most "macho" men around, appear quite comfortable expressing their feelings with each other during a game. Where else would you see men slapping each other playfully on the butt? Put these same men in another context, and you probably wouldn't see the same level of openness and comfort.
Men may experience their feelings through physical complaints. It's not uncommon to see men experience their feelings through things such as headaches are backaches. You may know of a man who gets headaches only on the weekends, or becomes sick during vacations. Why does this happen? Because as long as men are working, they can cut off their feelings. Without the structure of work, however, their feelings and needs surface, and may be expressed through physical symptoms.
Men are in a "double-bind" when it comes to expressing emotions. Although men may not always know what they're feeling, there's one thing they’re sure about: They’re convinced they’re in a major double bind. Society encourages men to express their feelings, but when they do, their partners are often petrified, if not horrified. Women, they may believe, want their partners to show their feelings, but only certain feelings, and only in doses they can handle. In fact, results from numerous research studies—as well as clinical experience—tells us that men may be right to be wary of women who implore them to show their true feelings. Men who deviate from the traditional masculine norm by being emotionally expressive and talking about their fears are often judged as being poorly adjusted.
Men’s feelings may take everyone off guard. Part of the problem for some men may be that they have silenced their feelings for so long that they haven't developed resources for handling them when they do arise. Such unplanned, unexpected emotion can often prove overwhelming.
I worked with one couple for whom this was the case: Rob had taken a new job several hours away. Emily stayed back, preparing their house for a sale. At the same time, they argued about whether or not to get a dog. Emily argued that a dog would provide her with some needed company, and make her feel secure when alone in their home. In his logical, analytical way, Rob gave her every reason why the timing was not right, for example: How could you show the house with a puppy running around, peeing on the floor? On an intellectual level, Emily knew he was right, but her heart insisted she would be happier with the dog. They went through several weekends during which all they did was fight about the dog issue. Emily thought Rob was being cold and unfeeling. Rob thought Emily was being unreasonable. With much coaxing, Rob agreed to accompany Emily to the local animal shelter “just to look” at dogs. When Rob saw all those rows and rows of dogs in cages, knowing that most of them would probably be put to death, he began sobbing. Emily said she had never seen him cry so hard. She had been thinking to herself that he didn't have any feelings, when nothing could have been further from the truth.
My own observation has been that many men experience intense emotions but, lacking the training and support to make sense of those feelings, they are left with few options but to bury them deeper. It's only when men are taken off guard (such as when Rob visited the animal shelter) that their feelings are free to surface.
So, no, men are not unfeeling. Rather, many are trapped in the confines of a socialization process that tells them it’s unmanly to cry, to hurt, or to express the myriad other motions we all experience as a result of living fully as human beings.

Top 10 Foods for a Better Mood

Marlynn Wei M.D., J.D. Urban Survival

Eat these "brain-healthy" foods to keep a positive mood and healthy mind.

Posted Sep 15, 2015

Source: racorn / Shutterstock

When was the last time your therapist or doctor asked you what you're eating?
Food is important, not just for our physical health but also for our mind. It can be an excellent source of vitamins, nutrients, and antioxidants. Growing research supports the theory that what we eat everyday can improve our mood and help with treating depression and anxiety. Nutritional psychiatry (link is external) (or “food psychiatry”) is a new but growing field that is becoming mainstream.
Our Westernized (link is external), so-called “cafeteria” diet is calorie-loaded, nutrient-poor, and highly processed, resulting in extra calories without real nutrition. Animal studies (link is external) have found that this type of food leads to higher anxiety and depression. Foods high in sugar, fat, and sodium are very addictive and especially comforting. In fact, evolution has probably set us up this way. Researchers have even found that high-fat, high-sugar foods or “comfort (link is external) foods” temporarily make you happier but create a cycle of self-medication.
In contrast, a Mediterranean diet high in fish, olive oil, nuts, and whole grains has been linked to lower rates of depression. One study (link is external) found that people who followed a Mediterranean diet for four years reduced their risk of depression by 40 to 60 percent. Another study (link is external) found that a diet rich in berries and green leafy vegetables, called the MIND diet (Mediterranean—Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay), a hybrid of a Mediterranean diet and a diet for people with high blood pressure, was linked to lower rates of Alzheimer’s disease.
Here are the top 10 “brain-healthy” foods to help you promote a positive mood:
1. Leafy greens and broccoli. Leafy greens like kale and bok choy contain folate, calcium, magnesium, and vitamin K. Folate has been used as a supplement to improve depression. Leafy greens also contain compounds that help the liver process toxins better.
If you'd rather drink your leafy greens, try my partner Doug's (link is external) Green Power Smoothie recipe. For 2 servings, blend together until smooth and uniform: 2 cups of Tuscan kale, 1 cup baby spinach, 2 small frozen bananas, 0.5 cup blueberries, 2 cups of soy/almond/hemp milk, 0.5 teaspoon honey, 1.5 tablespoons chunky almond butter.
2. Mussels and oysters. Oysters and shellfish contain plenty of Vitamin B12, which is important for neurotransmitters in the brain and nerves. If you are vegan or vegetarian, you may be low in vitamin B12 because it is found primarily in meat, dairy, and eggs. It’s important to find alternative sources of vitamin B12.
3. Fish and Fish Oil. Studies (link is external) have found that high fish consumption reduces depression. This may in part be due to the fact that fish is often a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, an effective supplement to treatment for depression (link is external). If you're using omega-3 fatty acid supplements, most studies (link is external) recommend 1 to 3 grams daily for mood, and there should be more eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) than docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) listed on the label.
In order to avoid mercury exposure found in fish, pregnant women should be careful regarding how much and what types of fish they eat. The FDA recommends that pregnant women avoid: 1. tilefish, 2. shark, 3. swordfish, and 4. king mackerel. Pregnant (link is external) women can, however, eat up to 12 ounces of other types of fish per week.
4. Walnuts, Almonds, and Hazelnuts. Nuts are a good source of Vitamin E. You can have them raw or unsalted. One study found that a Mediterranean diet supplemented with 30 grams of mixed nuts, such as walnuts, almonds, and hazelnuts daily significantly reduced depression (link is external).
5. Berries. Blueberries in particular have been found to protect the brain. In one study, eating two servings of blueberries a week was linked to a reduction in the risk of Alzheimer's disease (link is external) by 35 percent.

Source: Pixabay

6. Lentils, chickpeas, beans. Legumes contain high levels of folate and zinc, both of which have been used as effective supplements for depression (link is external). Getting enough zinc is particularly important for vegetarians and vegans since the absorption of zinc can be reduced by 50 percent from phytates, which are found in plants. Beans are a good source of protein and keep your blood sugar levels stable, but beans like black eyed peas also contain high levels of folate.
7. Dark Chocolate and raw cacao nibs or powder. Dark chocolate and cacao (unroasted cacao beans) contain cocoa polyphenols, (link is external) a type of antioxidant found in plants that was found to improve calmness and contentedness in a study (link is external) where people received a dark chocolate drink mix. Raw cacao powder and nibs do not contain added sugar and can be used in smoothies. Cacao and cocoa powder can contain toxic (link is external) heavy metals, depending on the brand. These won't be listed on the label, so check out independent lab testing such as Consumer Labs (link is external) before buying.
My personal favorite dessert substitute is this raw cacao smoothie made by blending one frozen banana, 2 tablespoons of raw cacao, 3 cups of water (or almond milk, soymilk, or hemp milk), 1 teaspoon of Dulse (link is external) flakes, and 6 to 8 dried dates (optional). You can also add in a half cup of blueberries or kale or spinach.

Source: Common Source

8. Pumpkin seeds. A quarter cup contains almost half the daily recommended dose for magnesium, an essential mineral (link is external) to protect you from depression and anxiety. Pumpkin seeds also contain zinc, plant-based omega-3 fatty acids, and tryptophan, which helps promotes sleep.
9. Fermented Foods and Probiotics. Researchers (link is external) are shedding light on the important link between the bacteria in the gut (your so-called “second brain”) and your mood. Fermented foods like kimchi and sauerkraut contain probiotics and can reduce social anxiety (link is external). Fermented foods and probiotics can also help with depression and anxiety. Mice who were on probiotics (link is external) behaved as if they had taken Prozac. Probiotic powder supplements have also been shown to reduce (link is external) negative thoughts during sad moods.

Source: Creative Commons

10. Turmeric. The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin, an anti-inflammatory compound found to improve the effectiveness of antidepressants in reducing depression (link is external). You can drink it in a tea or add it to your everyday dishes like chili or pasta sauce.
Try eating more of these foods to promote a better mood.

25 Habits That Will Make You Smarter

 

Aim to read one book per week

Want to expand your mind? A little bit of effort every day goes a long way.

In the Quora thread, “What would you do to be a little smarter every single day?”, readers shared the habits they follow to fuel their brains.

Here are some simple actions that could help you become a smarter person.

1. Come up with 10 ideas every day

Think about how to reduce poverty, how to solve a daily problem you have, interesting movie ideas, or anything. It doesn’t matter what subject your ideas fall into, as long as you’re working your brain and your idea muscles. Your list might even lead to a new startup idea or writing subject. — Claudia Azula Altucher

2. Read the newspaper

It will help you become more aware of the important things happening around the word. You’ll learn to form your own opinions and connect the dots between seemingly unrelated things. You’ll also have a lot more to talk about at parties or with friends. — Manas J Saloi

3. Play devil’s advocate

Take something you recently learned and generate a unique opinion on it that wouldn’t immediately come to mind. Try to support it with evidence, and be open to the idea that new evidence will change your opinion. Repeat this every day, and you’ll become much better at thinking outside the box.

If you’re feeling stuck, try reading and critically evaluating the editorial section of papers. They will help you understand how other people form arguments and express their opinions. — Peter DePaulo

4. Read a chapter in a fiction or nonfiction book

Aim to read a book a week. You can always find pockets of time to read, whether on your daily commute or while you’re waiting in line. Goodreads is a great way to keep track of everything you read and to also find a community of other readers.

Fiction books are great for understanding characters and getting absorbed into another perspective, while non-fiction books are great for introducing you to new topics, from politics to psychology. — Claudia Azula Altucher

5. Instead of watching TV, watch educational videos

Sometimes, it’s more fun to watch things about a subject you love than to read about it, and you can learn a lot from other people’s experiences.

You can find fun, educational videos on Khan Academy or watch TED talks. You can also find good ones on Youtube’s channel SmarterEveryDay. In videos, the information is often presented in a digestible, memorable way, so you can be assured they’ll stick. — Hendrik Sleeckx

6. Subscribe to feeds of interesting information

Follow interesting voices on Facebook and Twitter, so you’ll always learn something new when you look at your newsfeed or dashboard. For example, if you want to keep up with the latest news in science and technology, subscribe to the “I F—— Love Science” page on Facebook. You can also follow email newsletters, such as Cal Newport’s Study Hacks and Today I Found Out.— Saurabh Shah

7. Check in with your favorite knowledge sources

Every day, scroll through Quora, Stack Overflow, specialty blogs, or any other sources that satiate your hunger for knowledge. This is an extremely easy habit, because other users are curating the content for you, so all you have to do is follow the ones who write about topics interesting to you. Try using Pocket to save articles for later reading, and then try to get through them before going to sleep at night. — Manas J Saloi

8. Share what you learn with other people

If you find someone to debate and analyze ideas with, you can add to each other’s knowledge and gain new perspectives. Also, when you can explain ideas to someone else, it means you’ve definitely mastered the concept. You can even share what you learn without directly talking to someone. Many people like to start blogs so they can engage others in online dialogue. — Mike Xie

9. Make two “To Do” lists: one of work-related skills you want to learn now, and another of things you want to achieve in the future

Google Docs is a convenient way to keep track of your lists. For both, decide what you want to learn, compile sources that will teach you these skills, and then work on them each day.

For example, if you work in a computer-science related field, your first list might suggest you learn something new in Python one day or that you try using MongoDB another day.

For your second list, you can think about long-term goals, such as whether you want to go into marketing or architecture. Write down the small steps you need to take to reach that goal, whether it’s by reading the experts in those fields or taking classes at a local college. — Manas J Saloi

10. Write an “I Did” list

At the end of each day, write down what you completed. This will help you feel better about all the things you accomplished, especially if you’re feeling discouraged. It will also help you reflect on how productive you were and how you can re-structure your to-do lists for the next day. — Claudia Azula Altucher

11. Start a “Stop Doing” list

To clear out the mental clutter, take note of the mindless ways you spend your time. Break old habits, and make time for new, better ones. As Warren Buffett says, “The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful say ‘no’ to almost everything.” — Shane Parrish

12. Write down what you learn

You can start a blog or use an app like Inkpad to help you keep track of everything you learn. Not only will this be a great way to keep a record of everything you’re doing, but it’s also a good source of motivation to keep you accountable. You will want to learn more if you know that at the end of the day you’ll have to write about it. — Manas J Saloi

13. Stimulate your mind

Going on a daily run is a great way to get your brain flowing and to keep your mental health in shape. It’s also a great way to think through difficult decisions or process new information.— Rick Bruno

14. Take online courses

Check out this list of the most popular online courses for professionals. Make sure you don’t overload yourself; commit to one to two and truly focus on them. The syllabus will also keep you on track, so you know you will be doing something every day, whether it’s listening to a lecture or working on an assignment. — Manas J Saloi

15. Talk to someone you find interesting

Even if they’re strangers, don’t be afraid to approach them. Ask about their interests and how they discovered them. Oftentimes, you learn the most from people you barely know. — Manas J Saloi

16. Hang out with people who are smarter than you

Spend as much time as you can with smart people. Every day, you should strive to have a coffee date or walk with someone who inspires you.

Always be humble and willing to learn. Ask as many questions as possible. If you are always around people who are more knowledgeable than you, you’ll have no choice but to learn more. — Manas J Saloi

17. Follow your questions

If you see or hear about something cool, don’t just let the moment pass. Follow up — pursue your curiosity and find the answer to your question. — Mike Xie

18. Use a word-of-the-day app

You will increase your vocabulary, which can help you in competitive tests like the SAT or GRE, or even just sound more eloquent in daily interactions.

You can also try to learn new vocabulary in a different language. Every day, try to add five to 10 more words to the foreign language you are trying to pursue. You can use LiveMocha, Basuu, or DuoLingo. — Manas J Saloi

19. Do something scary

“Getting out of our comfort zone always makes us wiser.” Every day, push yourself a little further. Try public speaking by joining a ToastMasters class, lead a meeting by volunteering a proposal at work, or reach out to someone you really admire by sending a quick letter or email.— Claudia Azula Altucher

20. Explore new areas

If you can’t travel every day, at least try to find something new within your hometown. You’ll meet different people, learn new facts, and understand something new about the world. It’s a lot more productive than staying at home and watching TV. — Manas J Saloi

21. Play “smart” games

Some games, like chess and Scrabble, expand your mind. Challenge yourself when you play them. For example, play Scrabble without a dictionary. You can also solve puzzles via games like Sudoku, 2048, and Doors. — Saurabh Shah

22. Set aside some time to do nothing

Oftentimes, sitting in silence can help you get inspiration and reflect on your day. — Claudia Azula Altucher

23. Adopt a productive hobby

If you have something you can work on every day, from knitting to fly fishing, you can actively learn more just from doing. For instance, you may try to play a new piece of music every day, read a physics textbook, write a few more pages in your novel, or learn a new computer skill. — Mayank Rajput

24. Apply what you learn

If you recently learned a new coding skill or how to play an instrument, make sure you are using that skill in your life as often as possible. Learning by doing is one of the most effective ways to become smarter. — Himanshu Pal

25. Exercise and eat a healthy diet

Opt for brain foods to fuel your thinking, and avoid alcohol and heavy meals that will make you sluggish. When your energy dips, take a walk. “The more blood flowing into your brain, the better your performance. Great thinkers like Mahatma Gandhi and Charles Darwin were famous for their long walks.” — Janne Piiroinen

This article originally appeared on Business Insider.