Why Mentally Strong People Don’t Dwell on Self-Pity

Here's what you can do instead.

Post published by Amy Morin on May 05, 2015 in What Mentally Strong People Don't Do

 Asking, “Why do these things always happen to me?” or declaring, “This isn’t fair!” is a common first line of defense when faced with hardship. If you struggle to move beyond those initial reactions, however, you risk staying stuck in an unhealthy cycle of self-pity.
Feeling sorry for yourself is one of the fastest way to deplete your mental strength. It is impossible to be mentally strong while simultaneously insisting, “I can’t handle this.” Happily, you can put an end to self-pity before your thoughts and emotions sabotage your efforts to move forward.
The Dangers of Self-Pity
While it is normal to feel sad when faced with difficult circumstances, self-indulgent pity goes above and beyond grief, frustration, or heartbreak and becomes self-destructive. Self-pity distracts you from dealing with your emotions head-on and prevents you from taking positive action.
Self-pity also creates a negative downward spiral. When you focus on everything that is going wrong, your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative. Those negative thoughts will negatively affect your behavior. You will be less likely to take steps to improve your situation when you are busy thinking about the unfairness of your situation. This inactivity will fuel your feelings of self-pity and the cycle will continue.
You only have so much time and energy. Devoting those finite resources toward self-pity means you are unable to use them for more productive activities. Every minute you spend dwelling on self-pity is 60 seconds you delay working on a solution.