2015年5月20日

李嘉誠勸告不想工作的女人們: 如果你感覺累了不想再工作了,那麼我建議你做三件事情!

2015-05-17 / 作者 : 喔喔

 

第一,去看看新婚姻法!它會告訴你,靠嫁一個高富帥脫貧致富的年代已經結束了,凡事靠自己。

第二,看看自己銀行卡上的餘額,明白自己是否有足夠的財產?

第三,照照鏡子,看看自己有沒有傾國傾城的花容月貌?


《女人應該這樣的活著》

1、想辦法努力掙錢,而不是如何省錢。

2、再憤怒也不大吼大叫,保持冷靜。

3、喜歡的東西自己努力賺錢買。

4、少說多做,能站不坐,適當運動。

5、不要認為找個有錢男人就什麼都有了。

6、 如果你不喜歡現在的工作,要麼辭職不幹,要麼就閉嘴不言。

7、看透的時候,勇於放棄。

8、可以不認同,但要學會尊重。

9、做不了決定的時候,讓時間幫你決定。如果還是無法決定,做了再說。寧願犯錯,不留遺憾!

10、一定要做個有教養的女人。

11、要漂亮,更要有氣質。

12、在不違背原則的情況下,對別人要寬容,能幫就幫,千萬不要把人逼絕了,給人留條後路,懂得從內心欣賞別人,雖然這很多時候很難。

13、不要做刺蝟 ,能不與人結仇就不與人結仇 誰也不跟誰一輩子 有些事情沒必要記在心上。

14、錢很重要,但不能依靠男人或父母,自己一定要保持一定的賺錢的能力。

15、不要太高估自己在集體中的力量,因為當你選擇離開時,就會發現即使沒有你,太陽照常升起。

16、過去的事情就讓它過去,一定要放下。

17、即使輸掉了一切,也不要輸掉微笑。

2015年5月19日

5 Ways to Make Yourself Happier in the Next 5 Minutes

... and you'll be surprised how long the good feeling lasts.
Post published by Ran Zilca on Jul 09, 2014 in Confessions of a Techie
 Happiness is a lifelong pursuit of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment. But while it could take years of persistence to deeply transform your life, there are scientifically-tested strategies that have been shown to provide an immediate happiness boost. Such activities provide a modest but lingering increase in happiness, but when practiced consistently over time, they become happiness habits, energizing you to live your dreams and passions.
Here are 5 such strategies that you can practice right now, to get a shot of healthy psychological nutrients:
1. Do some jumping jacks.
Aerobic exercise boosts one’s positive mood. In 2005, Researchers at Chicago State University and the University of Minnesota analyzed 158 different studies conducted between 1979 and 2005 [1]. They found that the effect of aerobic exercise was consistently positive, and was especially noticeable when one started an exercise session while feeling a little more "down" than usual. In other words, physical exercise can lift you up when you need it the most. In a more recent study, researchers at Halmstad University in Sweden analyzed 15 different studies and found that physical exercise can be an effective treatment of mild and moderate depression [2]. Body and mind are inseparable. A couple of minutes of jumping jacks may go a very long way.
2. Call a friend or family member.
Positive social connections are a cornerstone of happiness and health [3]. A conversation with a friend can have a lasting positive effect, increasing your energy and cultivating motivation. In fact, simply belonging to a social group or having a minimal personal connection with another person creates lasting and significant drive [4]. If there are people around you right now whom you like and appreciate, walk up to one and talk with them—or pick up the phone and say hi.
3. Write down 3 things you are grateful for.
Many people maintain a journal in which they write down the things for which they are grateful. The simple exercise of acknowledging your good fortune by identifying “three good things,” has been shown to provide both an immediate and lasting effect on happiness [5]. In a study published in 2012, positive psychologists Stephen Schueller and Acacia Parks tested this strategy in an online setting [6] and found that the benefits lasted as long as six months. A small uptick for six months in return for just five minutes of writing is a pretty good deal.
4. Imagine the best-case outcome for your near future.
Research consistently shows that imagining your “best possible self” makes you significantly more optimistic [7], delivering a range of positive emotions. When I met with coach Caroline Miller during Ride of Your Life (link is external) and asked her about the path to inner peace, she suggested to “pretend” being an optimist when thinking about the future: “The world is a random set of events to pessimists. Optimists, on the other hand, believe they control the things around them. So, in some ways, you have to pretend you’re an optimist.”
In line with common belief, thinking positively (yet realistically) about the future is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Take a few minutes to imagine and write down the best-case scenario for the coming months or years. You may be surprised to discover how bright this possible future may be.
5. Set an intention for the day.
One of the most established and validated models of psychological wellness was published by Carol Ryff of the University of Wisconsin nearly 20 years ago [8]. It includes six elements that constitute happiness, of which one’s autonomy is the most prominent. Setting a daily intention to guide your day puts you in the driver’s seat, where you can make conscious decisions, rather than react to incoming demands. You may not be able to get your way all the time, but simply being aware of what you intend to accomplish will provide you with a sense of purpose, and an opportunity to be consistent in the way you interact with the world.
If you’ve made it here to the end of this post, give it a shot right now — what is your daily intention?

4 Ways You Can Really Make Yourself Happier

Revealing research on our mindsets and our moods.
Post published by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on Apr 22, 2015 in The Mysteries of Love
 
If only I weighed 120 pounds, I’d be happy.
If only I made more money, I’d be happy.
If only he loved me, I’d be happy.
If only I’d gotten that promotion, I’d be happy.
Are any of these assertions true? Researchers say "no."
John Keith/Shutterstock
Source: John Keith/Shutterstock
Psychologist Jordi Quoidbach of University of Liege (Belgium) and coauthor Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia looked at the accuracy of people’s predictions about their own future happiness (link is external) and found that people who tend to be grumpy, distrusting, or pessimistic are terrible at such predictions.
The team proposed that how happy people will feel about a future event depended a lot more on personality than the nature of the event.
To test this, the team asked a large group of Belgian supporters of President Obama in October 2008 how happy they would feel if Obama won the election. The participants, for the most part, predicted that they would feel very happy if their preferred candidate won.
After the election, the participants were asked how happy they actually felt, and a large part of the group didn’t feel very happy at all. The participants completed a personality test, and it turned out that the subjects who had a tendency to be grumpy or negative in other ways wrongly predicted that the positive event would make them happy.
Those with a more positive mindset who had predicted that Obama’s election would make them happy actually were happy after the election.
The researchers concluded that whether a positive event will make us happy depends more on our natural inclinations to be negative or positive than on any perceived positive outcomes.
This is an interesting finding. It suggests that waiting for positive events to take place is a waste of time. If you are not already happy, these events won’t make you any happier. Even enormously positive events cannot really change the moods of grumpy people, or people who are negative in other ways.
To experience real happiness, you need to change your mindset. Here are four suggestions to get you started:
  1. Stop thinking "if only...then I'd be happy." Just face it: You won't be. A big bump up in salary, losing 20 pounds, finding "true" love—if you're already grumpy, it won't make much difference.
     
  2. It's your thoughts that prevent you from being happy. And dwelling on them can solidify them. So while it can feel good to share your thoughts with others, don't go around telling everyone, say, that your boss hates you, because you might end up truly believing it.
     
  3. Ask yourself what is preventing you from being happy. Is it that you don't believe you will find a partner? Your belief that your co-workers hate you? Your belief that you are too fat, unattractive, short, or stupid.? Then change your beliefs. In Loving What Is, Byron Katie recommends asking four questions about each of your negative beliefs: Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you think that thought? and, Who would you be without the thought? Then, start thinking the opposite: For example, I am not too fat, etc.
     
  4. Laugh about your problems. Yes, laughter (link is external) relaxes the body, decreases your level of stress hormones, enhances the immune system, and—as a bonus—releases the body's own painkillers, endorphins, which helps to improve your sense of well-being.

2015年5月18日

What Your Hair Really Says About You

Findings to keep in mind before your next expensive salon visit.
Post published by Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. on May 09, 2015 in Fulfillment at Any Age
 Alexander Image/ShutterstockWe've all said it. Although people have primped themselves for millennia, hair products have sharply risen in popularity over the past decade, as have hair-based controversies: Presidential candidate John Edwards was ridiculed for spending $400 on a haircut in 2007. (link is external)Ordinary citizens may spend $75 (women) or $40 (men) (link is external) on every a trip to the salon or barber. What is the reason for the high interest in maintaining our tresses?
Research suggests the prime reason is that hair maintenance helps us control how we appear to age.
In a conversation, people’s eyes are directed toward the other's heads. The hair on that head (or the lack of it) becomes one of a person’s most prominent features. There is also a great deal of mythology surrounding blondes, redheads and those brunettes, based largely on which “have more fun.” Much of this stereotyping has been applied to women but, increasingly—as the Edwards case showed—it can affect men as well.
Hair is also relatively easy to subjugate to one’s will (but only relatively). You can alter your hair in a myriad of ways, limited only by your willingness to spend time and money on the project. If all else fails, you can don a hairpiece or wig, and the job is done in an instant.
Because it is so visible, though, hair also becomes a part of a person’s identity. It helps define the persona you aim to create to impress others, whether as an intellectual, a sexual being, a rebel, or some combination of the above. Hair can also influence the way you define yourself to yourself, as an extension of your identity. During adolescence, your hair matures to its more or less final form, leaving childhood texture and even color behind. As your adult identity forms, it develops around this image.
This developmental aspect of hair is perhaps the most interesting. Unlike the features of your face and body that bear the stamp of time’s passage, your hair could theoretically remain unaltered for decades with relatively little effort. You can cover up the gray; you don’t need to give hair Botox to help it remain “young.”
The idea that our hair can define us as young or old may be at the heart of our society’s current preoccupation with not only having a "good" hair day, but a hair day in which your tresses resemble those of a much younger person. It's possible that by manipulating the way your hair looks, you can manipulate your apparent age.
As described by University of Kent sociologist Julia Twigg and Gakashuin University’s (Japan) Shinobu Majima (2014), the reconstitution of aging thesis argues that old age underwent a shift in the late-20th century, impacted by changes in relation to work, the family, and personal identity (p. 23). So-called “normative” age patterns no longer exist, and expectations for what’s appropriate at what ages are now highly individualized. You age the way you want to now, not the way you’ve been told to—and this extends to your appearance.
Age and gender norms interact when it comes to what’s considered okay for the aging locks of women. As Twigg and Shinobu point out, “Controlled, clearly managed hair is particularly significant for older women in avoiding the status of dereliction or derangement, signaled by wild or neglected locks” (p. 25).
In other words, society says that older women have to disguise and keep in check their naturally graying hair.
Twigg and Shinobu examined a large data set of purchasing patterns from the U.K.’s Expenditures and Food Survey, which surveyed 10,000 households each year (with a 60% response rate), divided into 20-year age groups. The earliest survey was conducted in 1961 and the most recent in 2011. Participants kept an expenditure diary for a two-week period, spread out among different respondents over an entire year to average out seasonal variations. The researchers focused particularly on women 55 and older, grouping that cohort into 5-year age categories, each of which contained 100-150 participants.
Taking into account expenditures on clothing, hairdressing, and cosmetics, Twigg and Shinobu’s analysis shows 3 distinct patterns for the cohorts of women in their mid-50s and beyond. All cohorts of women were more likely to spend money on clothing across the 50 years of the study. Among the older women, those born between 1916 and 1920 were most likely to visit hairdressers throughout their lives, including their later years. There wasn’t a general rise in spending on hairdresser visits among older women—only for this group. For cosmetics, though, women are steadily spending more both on makeup and anti-aging products as they get older.
Interpreting the findings, Twigg and Shinobu point to several reasons for a peak in the spending on hair for women who came of age in the 1930s and 1940s. At that time, people were far less likely to take care of their own hairstyling but instead relied on weekly visits for shampoos and sets. As these women grew older, they remained loyal to their earlier grooming rituals, and the styles that went with them.
Hair salons, however, may be important for older women because they find it difficult to do their own hair which, like their bodies, has become a bit less flexible. Salon visits, then, allow older women to stave off “accusations of self-neglect.” They’re also places where women can socialize and receive some pampering. It feels good to have your hair washed by someone else, and definitely better than having the “bodily interventions that many older people are forced to endure as a part of declining health” (p. 29).
Putting these trends together: It's clear that older women are becoming more conscious of their appearance and more likely to spend money on maintaining it. They’re increasingly prey to advertisers who purvey products that will allow not only their hair, but their faces and bodies, to stay youthful.
Interestingly, Trigg and Shinobu didn’t find that anything special stood out about Baby Boomers and hair, finding no evidence that “the claimed features of this generation” emerge in the way that older people spend money (p. 30). There would be much that marketers in the U.S. could learn from reading the findings described in this paper, which suggest that we may be too transfixed by the labels that we slap on different generations (such as Millennials, Gen-Y, and so on).
What do these findings mean for you as you contemplate your own appearance? First, they suggest that many people do carry over their patterns from their 20s and 30s into later adult years. The way you prepare the face and hair you present to the outside world may reflect cultural conventions prevalent in your own transition to adulthood. Second, the findings should provide you with a warning about your own vulnerability to manipulation by the media: Advertisers and manufacturers are betting heavily on the growing desire people have to remain youthful on both the outside and inside.
The next time you consider plopping down a chunk of hard-earned cash on the latest “miracle” age-reverser, pause and think about what it is you’re seeking. Your inner self-worth and value are far more likely to benefit your feelings of fulfillment than the image you project to the outside world.

2015年5月16日

5 Thoughts That Can Get You Through (Almost) Anything

Collected over a lifetime, advice to keep you moving forward.
Post published by Meg Selig on May 06, 2015 in Changepowerracorn/ShutterstockI’ve been given a lot of advice in my life, some good, some bad, most forgettable, and some…outstanding. I’ve previously written about one unforgettable piece of "advice" (it wasn't exactly advice) from my father. Now I'm adding 5 more nuggets to the list. The words of wisdom below are so concise and powerful that I find myself reciting them in my mind at least a few times a week. See if you feel the same way.
As I wrote down these 5 gems to share with you, I realized they all had some common elements. Maybe you’ll pick up a pattern as you read. If not, I’ll reveal it at the end.
1. “Do what makes you feel best about yourself.”
A friend once gave me this advice. I took it to heart as a reminder to live up to my own values whenever possible. When your life is in sync with your values, you have peace of mind.
2. “Just do the best you can.”
The mother of a friend of mine gave her this advice. Thanks to this gem, my friend works hard but never feels compelled to be perfect. I’ve adopted this advice as one of my own personal mottoes.
3. “Set your own standards and work up to them.”
This piece of advice, offered by my partner, reminds me to…well, first of all, HAVE some standards, and, second, work up to—or in some cases, down to—them. I’ve also learned that I don’t have to have high standards for everything, just the few things of vital importance to me.
4. “Do what makes sense to you.”
This advice, also from my partner, might be my favorite. For a lot of tasks, chores, and choices, there is no one right answer or one right way to go. “Do what makes sense to you” helps you cultivate judgment and problem-solving skills. Whether you are making a large or small decision, this motto can strengthen your unique ways of meeting life's challenges.
5. “Welcome mistakes and learn from them.”
I learned this from life and from my psychology reading (with a particular nod to the research of Carol Dweck). When I was younger, I didn’t have the courage to take risks and bounce back from failure. I was too concerned with protecting my ego. As I've matured, I’ve learned that a mistake is just Reality’s way of teaching you something important. (But it’s up to you to figure out what that important thing might be.)
Did you pick up the common threads? All of these advice nuggets help you explore your own identity, rather than directly tell you what to do. This kind of advice strengthens the self and gives you confidence to make future decisions based on what you’ve learned has and hasn’t worked for you in the past. As Socrates said, “Know thyself.” This advice gives you the ways and means to do just that.

The 4 Ways We Handle Pressure (or Fail To)

When it's all on the line, do you step up or step aside?
Post published by Hendrie Weisinger, Ph.D. on Apr 22, 2015 in Thicken Your Skin
 bikeriderlondon/ShutterstockThink of your high-pressure moments—situations in which you have something at stake and the outcome is dependent on your performance. How would you characterize your thoughts, feelings, and behavior before, during, and after the moment has passed?
For the last 25 years, I’ve studied how people respond to pressure—and how we can do our best in pressure situations. Mixing empirical findings with clinical observations and data from workshops, seminars, and executive coaching, I’ve developed The Pressure Style Inventory (PSI).
The PSI is a clinical assessment tool that helps individuals identify their pressure style—consistent patterns of thoughts, feelings, actions that individuals bring to and through the pressure moments they encounter and, if they're willing, helps them generate strategies to change it.
Here is one of the Inventory’s 20 questions:
You are parallel parking with a bunch of kids talking in the car. It is a tight squeeze and you don’t make it the first time. You:
  • A. Tell the kids to be quiet so you can concentrate.
  • B. Turn off the music they were listening to.
  • C. Take a deep breath and proceed.
  • D. Pull away and look for another space.
Early analysis reveals four distinct pressure styles. Here are some early diagnostics I’ve noted and implications for each:
  1. The Pressure Cooker. Does not shy away from pressure moments and typically approaches them with a competitive attitude which often turns into hostility in high stake situations, be it in a discussion with a spouse or a client. The Pressure Cooker frequently confuses stressful moments with pressure moments and as a result, he or she is continually on high alert. In pressure moments, he or she easily arouses, making it difficult for them to perform or communicate to their capability. Besides doing poorly in pressure moments, Pressure Cookers tend to have relationships filled with squawking and often engage in counter-productive coping habits, seemingly to reduce their daily feelings of pressure. “I have to succeed," a Pressure cooker thinks. Pressure Cookers are persistent; they believe they can succeed, but get frustrated and angry when a setback occurs. It would be tough to live with a Pressure Cooker.
     
  2. The Pressure Reducers. Often appearing to be calm, Pressure Reducers tend to be productive because they have learned to keep feelings of pressure to a minimum. Their main strategy is to slow down their operations and the operations of their environment. They have also learned to immunize themselves to the pressure of unrealistic expectations that others put on them. At work they have a sense of purpose, but because their style is to reduce pressure feelings, they often do not respond to the urgency of the situation. "It’s no big deal,” a Pressure Reducer thinks. Pressure Reducers are easy to live with, except when you want them to do something that requires an effort.
     
  3. The Pressure Avoiders. These individuals perceive pressure moments as very threatening. When in a pressure situation, they become highly anxious. Pressure Avoiders lose a lot of opportunities for career advance because they rarely, if ever, volunteer for big assignments. At staff meetings, they are apt to be reluctant to share their ideas or criticize the work of others. The fact that many Pressure Avoiders are often very competent suggests that many might be one of the 18 million individuals with an anxiety disorder. Pressure Avoiders think, “I just want to get through it; I am finished if I fail.” Pressure Avoiders would probably not be successful in sales positions that require initiative, or in organizations in which advancement is based on high-profile successes.
     
  4. The Pressure Performers. These individuals represent the minority. They perceive pressure moments as opportunities that can enhance their lives and thus approach them with confidence and optimism. Pressure Performers tend to have frequent bouts of enthusiasm and often volunteer and seek out opportunities. Pressure Performers do not try to exceed their capabilities; rather, they rely on the fact that if they perform to their capabilities, they will be more often successful than not. Pressure Performers hold thoughts like, “I can do this; I will do my best. If I fail, there will be plenty of other chances.” Pressure Performers are positive people, encouraging to others and often infect others with confidence and enthusiasm. We like to be with Pressure Performers.
Take a few minutes to reflect on your own pressure style and ways in which you might become more of a Pressure Performer, the style of choice. Modifying your thoughts, managing physical arousal, and focusing on doing your best rather than beating others are strategies that are sure to help.

2015年5月15日

Get to Sleep. Your Life Depends on It.

Research into lack of sleep uncovers some deadly connections.
Post published by Michael J Breus Ph.D. on May 07, 2015 in Sleep Newzzz
 Piotr Marcinski/Shutterstock 
 We talk a lot about the dangers of poor sleep, the risks to health, mental and physical wellbeing and performance, and quality of life. One serious consequence of poor sleep that sometimes gets overlooked? The risk it poses of accidental death.
A recent study puts in stark relief the dangers that can insomnia can pose by increasing the risks of unintended fatal injury. Researchers in Norway undertook (link is external) a large-scale evaluation of the relationship between symptoms of insomnia and the risk of fatal accidental injury. Their study included 54,399 men and women between the ages of 20 and 89, all of whom participated in a public health study (link is external) during the years 1995-1997. Researchers collected data on participants over a 14-year period, collecting survey data about the presence of insomnia symptoms, including problems falling asleep; trouble staying asleep; and experiencing poor quality sleep. To identify possible links between insomnia and accidental fatal injuries, researchers examined data on insomnia symptoms in relation to data obtained from Norway’s National Cause of Death Registry. Over the 14-year study period, they identified 277 fatal injuries and 57 fatal motor vehicle injuries among the study population.
Researchers found insomnia was a significant factor in accidental fatal injuries, both those that involved motor vehicles and those that did not. They found that the greater the number of insomnia symptoms present, the greater the risk was for both fatal injury and fatal motor vehicle injury. In their analysis, researchers made estimates of the proportion of fatal injuries that could have been prevented if insomnia symptoms hadn’t been present.
For fatal accidental injuries:
  • 8% could have been prevented in the absence of problems falling asleep;
  • 9% could have been avoided without the presence of problems staying asleep; and
  • 8% could have been prevented in the absence of poor quality sleep.
Among motor vehicle fatalities, the proportion of preventable death was estimated to be even higher:
  • 34% of motor vehicle deaths could have been prevented in the absence of problems falling asleep;
  • 11% of these deaths could have been avoided without the presence of problems staying asleep; and
  • 10% of motor vehicle deaths could have been prevented in the absence of poor quality sleep.
These findings highlight another important aspect of the public health problem that insomnia and its symptoms pose: How do the symptoms of insomnia play such a role in increasing accident risk? Another new study points to some answers. Researchers at Université Laval, Quebec, examined (link is external) cognitive impairment in people with insomnia, and found significant deterioration to both attention and episodic memory, a form of recall (link is external) that deals with individual recollection of events and their contextual details, including places, times, and emotions. Diminished attention is very likely to be a factor that could contribute to accidental fatalities—and it is entirely possible that compromised episodic memory could play a role as well.
With nearly a third or more (link is external) of adults estimated to experience insomnia symptoms, the danger that these sleep problems pose—not only to health and performance but also to the risk of accidental death—are widespread and significant. Diagnosing and treating insomnia, then, is critically important to public health and safety. We’ve seen tremendous progress in the treatment of insomnia, both in pharmacological and non-pharmacological therapies.
The newest pharmaceutical treatment for insomnia is Belsomra, created by Merck, which recently received FDA approval (link is external) for use in treating difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. It is an entirely new type (link is external) of sleep medication, known as an orexin receptor antagonist, which works differently than other prescription sleep aids, interrupting the signaling activity of orexin, a chemical (link is external) in the brain that promotes wakefulness and alertness. Other medications seek to turn on the brain’s sleep switch; this one tries to turn the brain’s wake switch off. The complaint I hear from my patients more often than any other is that they have trouble sleeping because they “can’t turn off their brain.” This new form of medication has potential to help people struggling with this form of insomnia symptom.
Other important therapies exist to help reduce or eliminate the difficult symptoms of insomnia. Cognitive behavior therapy is one (link is external). CBT has been shown tremendously effective in reducing the symptoms of insomnia. CBT for insomnia works by changing both behaviors as well as attitudes and feelings about sleep. In a series of structured sessions with a therapist or counselor, patients work to identify thoughts and behaviors that hinder sleep, and then to replace those behaviors with habits that promote sound sleep. Over time, feelings about sleep—frustration, anxiety, fear—fade away. I use CBT in my practice, and it has proven tremendously successful in alleviating insomnia. CBT often includes specific behavioral strategies that can reduce frustration and improve a patient’s sleep routine, including:
  • Sleep restriction. This involves limiting time in bed to actual time spent sleeping, and gradually increasing sleeping time until it is a healthy range. Sleep restriction helps to avoid the frustrating and anxiety-producing routine of lying in bed trying to fall asleep, without success.
  • Sleep hygiene education. Sleep is deeply affected by lifestyle factors, including diet, exercise, substance use, and sleep environment. Developing knowledge and awareness of these factors and how to adjust them can make a big difference to sleep quality.
  • Cognitive restructuring. This involves a review of attitudes and beliefs about sleep and work to re-frame those thoughts in more positive ways.
  • Mediation and relaxation training. Specialized relaxation techniques can provide relief for anxiety and help make falling asleep and staying asleep easier.
The most important thing you can do if you’re experiencing trouble sleeping, or symptoms of insomnia, is to seek help. The right treatment can help you sleep better—and can keep you safer.

5 Ways Stress Hurts Your Body, and What to Do About It

2015年5月14日

分不到糖果

在一个鸟不生蛋的地方。
生于斯,长于斯。
没得选。
再加上本身的问题,一直都呆在这里,一个鸟不生蛋的地方。
天天在森林里做梦。
有本事的人都离开了。
逼不得已的,也都一有机会离开,都会漏夜的逃走。
或是一有假期,都纷纷走。
等假期完了,才心不甘情不愿的回来。
留下没目标的人,看了流口水。
好象小时候,一班的小孩子,每个都分得一粒糖。
就独有一个孩子没分到。
看着大家吃着糖,没糖的孩子只有猛吞着口里一直分泌出来的口水。
身边的朋友个个嫁的嫁,娶的娶。
独我没有。
假期一到,宅在房子里,寂寞不堪。

4 Scientific Ways to Make Your Workout Fun

Yes, it's possible to make exercise feel less like a chore—here's how.

Abigail Wise
 woman jogging with dog laughing outside
You already know that staying fit is good for you. Exercise lowers the risk of heart disease, may help prevent certain types of cancer, lowers your risk of osteoporosis, prevents weight-gain and type 2 diabetes, helps you sleep better, and improves muscle and lung function. It can help lower anxiety and prevent depression, too. Working out also releases endorphins, our bodies’ stress-fighters, leaving us feeling at ease, research suggests. In other words, working out can actually feel good—and even be fun.
Not sold? You're not alone. Less than five percent of adults do at least 30 minutes of physical activity daily, according to the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition. While we're supposed to be engaging in 150 minutes of cardio per week, plus two days’ worth of strength training targeting all the major muscle groups, only one-third of us actually do this. But working out doesn't have to be a drag. Here are four ways to kick start (and get a kick out of) your fitness routine.

1. Crank up the tunes.


If you're power-walking, running, or lifting weights, music can improve performance and even make you think the strenuous activity is easier than you otherwise might. Music helps you coordinate your workout, says Fabio Comana, a faculty instructor at the National Academy of Sports Medicine. For example, lyrics can reinforce aspects of a technique when they feature words like “punch,” “cut,” or “push."
The beat of your music can also affect how you synchronize your workout. Comana suggests the tempo of the music you listen to reflect the type of workout you're doing. Look up the beats per minute (BPM) on any song here or listen and tap along to the beat using a BPM calculator. Here are some basic guidelines on which speeds to look for.
  • Warm-ups: 100 to 110 beats per minute
  • Strength exercises: 110 to 120 beats per minute
  • Endurance, speed, and agility exercises: Higher than 120 beats per minute
  • Stretching: 90 to 100 beats per minute
While music can make our workouts more fun, Comana warns against becoming too dependent on music—or TV—to distract from the exercise. "Sustainable behavior is connected to the experience and if music serves only to distract and tolerate, then no sustainable behavior is established," he says. "In this case, if that music is removed, there is no reason to exercise."

2. Head outside.


You probably don't need science to confirm that a jog through the woods is more enjoyable than pounding away on a treadmill, but exercising outdoors decreases feelings of tension, anger, and depression, while increasing engagement and helping participants feel more energized, research suggests. “Being outside enriches your experience,” says Ellen Miller, the only American woman to have summited both sides of Mt. Everest and Outdoor Fitness Coach at the Vail Vitality Center and Vail Athletic Club in Vail, Colorado.
But you don't have to climb the world's highest mountain to reap the benefits of getting fit outdoors. An hour of hiking burns 530 calories, an hour of snowshoeing 500, and moving your typical run from the treadmill to outside can still burn 780 calories per hour. "Unplug from the electronic world and start to take in the sights, the smells, the sounds around you," says Miller. "Nature is incredibly therapeutic."

3. Be your own cheerleader.


Try leaving yourself notes of encouragement and surrounding yourself with positive people to help inspire and intensify your workouts. Athletes perform better and take longer to reach their exhaustion road block when they see happy faces instead of sad ones, new research suggests. Cyclists were subliminally shown happy and sad faces—in addition to active words, like "go," and inactive ones, like "stop"—in a study published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. Researchers instructed participants to pedal to the point of exhaustion. Those who saw the positive cues pedaled three minutes longer than those who saw negative ones.

4. Buddy up.


Partnering with a significant other can give your exercise a serious boost. People were five times more likely to exercise if their spouse did, researchers found in a recent study. But you don’t need a romantic partner to help power through a workout. Friends can help you stick to your exercise plans, too. We are social creatures and this helps explain the continued success of group fitness (averaging 28% participation rates), the growth of small group training (almost doubled since 2007), and the almost flat-line growth of one-on-one personal training, according to Comana. "A support system brings camaraderie, collaboration, accountability, and perhaps some friendly competition," he says.

2015年5月13日

Why Do Couples Look Alike? 3 Reasons Partners Begin To Resemble Each Other, Explained


LOIC VENANCE/AFP/Getty Images It is a truth universally acknowledged that couples who sidestep their individuality and become One Combined Being are the most irritating people at every cocktail party. They talk in plurals and “we”s, have matching shirts, and — oddly — even seem to look like each other. The first two can be stopped; but science has declared that, in the last case, the longer you’re together with a partner (and we’re talking seriously longterm here, in decades, not months), you really do start resembling each other more. It’s called convergence of appearance, if you want to get technical. But they’re still undecided as to why couples start to dress and look alike, and there are a few competing theories about why your Aunt Wilma and Uncle Wilbur could pass for each other easily in a badly lit room.
We’ve heard that we’re likely to settle down with people who look quite similar to us — even if we casually date people who look different. Opposites may attract (Kendrick Lamar’s never wrong, right?), but that appears to be confined to personality: while we seem to like a bit of difference in a partner’s character, when it comes to faces, it’s usually all us, all the time.
So what on earth is going on here —why would people start to morph slowly into their partners, and why are scientists telling us it’s actually a good sign?

1. You Look Like Each Other To Begin With

One of the greatest secrets of the dating pool is that people seem to actively attempt to date people similar to them in some way — in education level, height, age, face shape, whatever. It’s called assortative mating, and it’s used to explain why educated people tend to marry other educated people and double their opportunities. It’s not hard to understand why — you like somebody who knows what you’re talking about when you moan about your 9-to-5 and college loans — but similarity is also determined, on a certain level, by genetics. And that includes faces.
We seem to like genetic similarity; opposites don’t actually attract all that conclusively, if you trust the science. A study from 2014 shows that white people in particular pick lifetime mates who have similar DNA. Forget the obsession with band T-shirts and the inability to play Monopoly without screaming: you may not have worked out with your ex because they just weren’t that genetically compatible. 

We want to pass on our own genes, apparently, and somebody who looks just like us will bolster our chances of a similar-looking kid, as opposed to one that’s inherited their weird facial hair and knock knees. (Unfortunately, there’s been little-to-no research on how this trend plays out in mixed race couples.)

2. You’re Sharing The Same Experiences

The “facial likeness” study of the now-late psychologist Robert Zajonc of the University of Michigan in 1987 is still the benchmark for people who worry they’re developing their partner’s scowl. Zajonc and his team asked volunteers to match photographs of men and women based on their facial similarity, and found that couples who’d been married for 25 years were overwhelmingly paired together.
There are two main hypotheses for why this happened. Zajonc thought it was because a long life together meant shared experiences that left similar lines on faces — and that couples would therefore begin to look more similar. 

Others are more practical, believing that it’s simply a matter of genetic similarity becoming more evident as the rigors of age remove distinguishing features. Either way, the logic of Zajonc’s ideas is pretty easy to understand: a couple who have lived lives of hardship and difficulty will probably wear similar frown lines.  

3. The Happier You Are, The More Alike You Look 

Zajonc’s theory of emotional face-mirroring was based on a basic principle: we mimic the people we’re around the most. This phenomenon, called “unconscious mimicry,” has been known for ages, and it’s why we unconsciously take on the intonation of our friends’ voices, or copy our boyfriend’s stance at the bar. It’s meant to bond us and make us feel part of the group, but Zajonc also thought it meant mimicking a spouse over a long period of time, which would gradually reshape the face.
Genetic similarity, scientific studies show, already seems to coincide with a happy marriage — but whether that’s cause or effect is up in the air. Are you happy because you understand each other, or because you share the same gene variant (5-HTTLPR), thought to be the key to being emotionally attuned to a relationship? Does the happiness make the facial similarity, or vice versa? 
One thing’s for certain, though: just because you look similar doesn’t mean you’ll start to think the same. A 2010 study showed that people who’d been married for 40 years were just as definitively different personality-wise as they had been at the start of their marriages, even if they now shared habits, homes, and mortgages. Marriage, it seems, is only skin-deep.

吃斋的猪

猪现在的三餐多是吃蔬菜瓜果类。 偶尔蔬菜碗中加几片薄薄的肉片或鸡蛋增添点滋味。 吃素吃多了脸色也绿黄绿黄的。 本来都正在步入中老年人的步伐,脸色已经非常灰暗了,再加上营养不均匀的三餐。 猪脸越见丑陋,自己都不想看到镜中的自己。 这样的伙食也使猪脚步乏力,整天缺乏动力。 只想躺着不...