没有了青春的猪

时间都到哪儿了？

猪蹉跎了青春，把那最美好的几年流金岁月都白白流逝掉了。

现在终于铭尝了“早知道”。

经过岁月的洗涤，猪也遍体鳞伤。

终究敌不过时间。

像亦舒小说说的，猪成了damaged goods，而这就是人生。

猪可能就是那一个的不幸运，等不到他，还是孤单一个人。

“在年老时，惆怅如旧，不住思念：世上确有一个他吧，只是终身没有遇着，也许，他也走过这条路，也喜欢这朵云，也曾在微雨里打伞在这湖边漫步思忆；世上总有一个他吧，只是有生之年，始终没有见到。”

8 Easy Ways To Combat Stress & Anxiety (In 8 Minutes Or Less)

by Toffler NiemuthNovember 4, 2015 5:55 AM
 
Whether it's a tight deadline at work, planning a wedding, moving, challenges at home, or the upcoming holiday season, life can get pretty stressful. Between the busyness, overwhelm, and lack of sleep, that tension begins to take its toll: Inflammation rises, the immune system gets battered, emotions are rocky, belly fat may accumulate, and digestion starts to go awry.
These are the times we need our healthy habits the most and also when it's easiest to let them go. Since stress is an inevitability, here are eight ways to stay healthy — even when your life feels like it's coming apart at the seams — in eight minutes or less:
1. Take a break.
When the phone's buzzing, people are waiting, and things have to be done, the last thing you're thinking about is taking a break. But it's exactly what you need. Just a few moments of deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your racing mind, reduce stress, and re-energize you.
If you can, think about your posture during this time, too. Good posture improves breathing, reduces stress, and sends your body the message of confidence, which helps you feel empowered.
2. Try EFT tapping.
EFT, short for Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as tapping, can help reduce stress, anxiety, and fearful thoughts in as little as two to three minutes.
EFT works by literally tapping into the energy system. It's both a physical and mental approach to regaining feelings of calm and control while using the phrase, "I completely love and accept myself." When you're focused in on your feelings, energy, and attitude, EFT can work really fast.
3. Optimize your workout.
Don't think you can get a workout done in less than eight minutes? Try Tabata-style high-intensity interval training: eight sets of 20 seconds of intense activity, each followed by 10 seconds rest. Repeat for one more round and you'll have a challenging workout in only eight minutes. For the intense activity, go all out: Try burpees, mountain climbers, or jumping rope.
Exercise is fundamental to staying healthy, vital, and energized — plus, it helps blow off steam and reduce inflammation.
4. Pause for a cup of tea.
A Japanese tea master Soshitsu Sen XV said, "A cup of tea is a cup of peace" (quoted by Kenneth S. Cohen). The whole process of preparing and sipping a cup of tea takes just a few minutes, but it's incredibly soothing.

Preparing and sipping a cup of tea has a sense of ritual. Just waiting for the water to heat, the tea to steep, and then the drink to cool back down again creates a sense of deliberation and intention. Embrace this moment. Let the taste clear racing thoughts, the meditative aspect invite calm, and the aroma encourage deeper breathing.
5. Chill out before you chow down.
When stress takes over, it's easy to overeat. Stress makes us crave sweets because they boost serotonin. Often we use food as a distraction from uncomfortable emotions. In the long run, opting for nourishing foods will help you better cope with stress, protect your digestive system, and minimize inflammation.
So, try this: Before reaching for a snack or heading to the drive-through, take a few minutes to check in with your body. Ask it what it really needs (probably not cookies or French fries); consider what food(s) would help you feel the way you want to feel — energized and confident, relaxed and peaceful, or something else.
Next, spend a bit longer thinking about how much food is necessary to create that feeling and be satisfied. Then, visualize yourself portioning out exactly how much you imagined. Finally, if your chosen food is ready, take a couple of deep breaths, inhale the aroma, and let your digestive system get a head start. It'll make everything go down easier.
6. Call a friend.
Human connection, laughter, and friendships are sources of joy, can reduce stress, be energizing and uplifting, increase happiness, and add perspective or meaning to difficult situations. Although you may hesitate to call a friend if your conversations normally go on for an hour, setting time expectations up front will make it a lot easier on both of you to keep it under eight minutes. If necessary, set an alarm. Then, let the conversation flow. Sometimes just talking about what's going on can make it seem a lot less overwhelming.
7. Keep up your self-care practices.
If you're anything like me, self-care is the first thing to go when you're stressed or excessively busy. But it's one of the best ways to improve immune function, protect digestion and hormonal balance, and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm.
Here are some ideas if you don't already have your own self-care practices: Start a gratitude journal or try self-massage, regular meditation, or prayer. While it can take some effort and focus to turn these into habits, your body, mind, and spirit will thank you as life begins to seem much more manageable.
8. Take a walk outside.
Walking is a great way to move your body, clear your head, get a fresh perspective, and reclaim the confidence and patience you need in tough situations. A few minutes outdoors, ideally in nature, can help you feel renewed and refreshed. In fact, research suggests time in nature promotes both mental and physical health. Walking meetings, anyone?
It is totally possible to stop stress from taking over your life. In eight minutes or less, you can take major strides toward staying healthy and sane during life's most stressful periods. Why not start now?

死前要做的五十件事，讓你人生充滿意義

朋友買了水彩顏料，我很納悶，因為他不是畫家。他靦腆地說，「這是我死前要做的50件事之一。」
幾週前，我跟著一位朋友走進一家藝術用品商店。我發現他要了水彩顏料。這令我很納悶，因為他不是畫家。
「我報名參加了一個水彩畫學習班，下周就開課了。」他靦腆地說，「我真是沒有時間，但它是我所列的死前要做的50件事之一，所以我得去做。」
這聽起來很有趣。「其他還有什麼？」我問。
「什麼都有。」他說，「每過幾個月我都看看那張單子，來決定下一步該集中精力幹什麼。列單子之前，我總是為生活中損失的一切而傷感。現在我開始埋頭實幹了。」
「什麼時候能讓我看看你的單子？」我問。
「恐怕很難，」他說，「那會洩露關於我的很多東西。列出你自己的單子，你就會明白的。」
於是當晚我就列了一張單子，囊括了所有對我至關重要的內容，也流露出了自己對實現這些美夢的絕望。
僅僅列出這張單子就幫我理清了輕重緩急。我很快填出了前20件，但隨後就開始細心斟酌了。最後我加上了嚮往多年的項目，年輕時就背負的夢想，以及初聞就在我心中產生共鳴的事情。
首先，我想到更多更遠的地方去旅行。尤其是現在，孩子們都已長大，我想與孩子們完成十次旅行。
我吃驚地發現單子上有些事情需要馬上去做。例如，如果我想學開壓路機，就得在50歲之前開始。
當然，有些項目可以推遲到上了年紀時去幹。我醉心於花草園藝，但現在撫養孩子、業務纏身的我難有閒暇來侍弄玫瑰。
某一天我想致力於一家醫院嬰兒室的志願者工作。我還願與青年們共事，指導年輕人，或去本地的高中服務，看來我也許需要考慮為一年一度的學校義賣會而學會做燒烤。
有些項目令人生畏，因為它們意味著某種兢兢業業的投入。我想在世時出版一部小說，想攻讀哲學博士，還想學繪畫，並想用鋼琴彈出四重奏。如果我打算實現這些目標，就得勤於筆耕並手不離琴。
單子上的願望我並不可能一一實現。有些事情非我能力所及，例如新西蘭之行，以及最終也不會在我餘生中成真的事情，比如擁有一匹良駒。然而，我發現我已經為許多這樣的妄想構築了框架，而且如果我今天把它們定為目標，那麼明天設法使部分「成真」也並非毫無可能。
像我的朋友那樣，現在我有了發洩不滿的替代物。當我對生活感到厭倦時，就拿出那張單子。我也許會去函索取旅遊小冊子，或者在後院拿出畫筆塗抹上一個小時，儘量把樹林畫得像模像樣。
我不知道孩子們和我怎樣才能去非洲。但如果它確實重要，我肯定會找出一個方案。他們中的一個也許長大後當了一名動物學家；或者我也許成為一名生態作家，因公被派往那兒；或者我們也許只需每星期都攢上幾美元，直到夠用為止。
我的一位表姐曾把一大串趣事變為現實。她曾對我說，關鍵在於籌備，這樣生活就會神奇地運轉。「如果你想讓你的輪船開進來，就必須建一個碼頭。」她說。
多虧那張單子，我正在動工修建碼頭呢。

文 / 溫迪‧斯瓦洛‧威廉姆
感謝讀友林晏竹 分享
【閱讀隨筆】
有時候50件太多太難
就寫下今年一定要做的3件事吧
如果生命到年底只剩4個月的時間
有些事
做過比較不會遺憾與後悔
歡迎分享你要做的三件事
一起共勉加油
讓我們試試看
生命的無限可能
閱讀主編Junder

How To Love & Care For Yourself Even When You Feel Totally Alone

by Margaret PaulOctober 28, 2016 3:34 AM
 
Have you ever felt alone and empty inside? I'm not referring to the kind of alone we feel when we are actually alone or when we are with someone who is withdrawn from us. I call this kind of alone "lonely." We are lonely when we have love to share but either there is no one with whom to share it, or the person or people around us are closed off to connection and the sharing of love. We can feel lonely even when with a group of people.
The kind of alone I'm referring to has nothing to do with others. The kind of alone I'm talking about is a hollow, lost feeling inside, like floating in space with no tether to a mothership.
Loneliness has to do with not being connected with others. This alone, lost, hollow, empty feeling has to do with not being connected with ourselves and with a higher source of love. This alone feeling is the result of self-abandonment.
Imagine a tiny infant being left alone to fend for itself. The infant cries and no one comes. Within a short time, the infant becomes frantic, and then eventually shuts down from the terror of dying if no one comes.
This happens on the inner level when we don't attend to our own feelings. When we feel anxious, depressed, angry, guilty, shamed, lonely, heartbroken, grieved, or helpless over others, and we ignore these feelings, we end up feeling numb and alone. Our anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, and shame are letting us know that we are abandoning ourselves in some way, and our loneliness, heartbreak, grief, and helplessness over others and events let us know that we need to be very compassionate toward ourselves and perhaps reach out for support. When we don't attend to these feelings, we then feel numb, empty, and alone.
When you avoid attending to these feelings by staying in your head rather than focusing on your body, or by judging yourself, or by turning to various addictions to numb your feelings, or by trying to get someone else to take responsibility for your feelings, you are abandoning yourself. This is what leads to feeling alone and empty inside.

Here's how to love yourself in those alone moments:

Just as a loving parent would pick up a crying baby and try to discover what the baby needs, we need to embrace our feelings with a desire to learn about what they are telling us.
All our feelings have information for us about how we're treating ourselves, how we're being treated by others, and about events or situations that may need our attention.
Loving yourself means getting fully present in your body with your feelings. It means turning toward them with compassion rather than avoiding them with self-abandoning behavior. It means wanting responsibility for learning what they are telling you about how you are treating yourself, and for lovingly managing the painful feelings of life—the loneliness, heartbreak, grief, and helplessness that we all experience at times.
Loving yourself also means that you learn how to connect with a higher source of love and wisdom so you can bring that love and wisdom within. Inner aloneness always indicates a lack of love within.
Connecting with a higher source isn't as hard as you may think. Spirit is here to guide us in being loving to ourselves and to others, so when your intent is to love yourself rather than to avoid pain, the love that is spirit will fill your heart.
You will find that when you open up to learning from your feelings rather than avoiding them with self-abandoning behavior, and when you open up to learning with your higher self about what is loving to you, you will no longer feel alone inside.
Learning to love yourself is quite magical!

一只猪的无助

因为一个人，猪很无助。
无人可以求助，无人可以求问。
猪很害怕。
如果割除了子宫，猪会怎样？

有人說過，我們的憂慮不會帶走明天的難過， 只會帶走今天的力氣。

十月 15, 2016

憂慮
It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.
有人說過，我們的憂慮不會帶走明天的難過， 只會帶走今天的力氣。
──查爾斯‧司布真
憂慮對你的情緒、身體以及心靈健康是絕對沒有任何好處的。它可以將一件小事渲染成一樁大事，如重石般壓得你喘不過氣，為你的生活烙下又長又暗的陰影。時間一久，你可能就會變成一個習慣性憂慮的人，以為最糟的事將接踵而至，生活完全被恐懼佔據。
「有多重要？」這是當你在憂慮的時候，可以拿來問自己的一個好問題，因為問題的答案將引領你的注意力集中在正確的方向上。你還可以思考其他的問題： 「我目前可以做什麼？」當你集中精神在解決惱人的事情上，你可能會發現，那些讓你煩惱的已經發生了或者還沒發生的事情，前者你無力回天，後者你則沒辦法控制。
在你的內心自有一股力量，可以將你的憂慮繼續豢養成一隻巨獸。當然，這股力量或從今天起，亦可將憂慮縮小至合理的大小。放輕鬆地過日子，試著不要把時間浪費在擔心已成定局的事情或根本還沒發生的事情上。不僅於事無補，反而加重心理的負擔。
你可以讓自己活在當下，讓憂慮適得其所。
憂慮使我徒增壓力。今天， 走在陽光下，以便看清楚並感受一切正在發生的美好事物。


生命美在事與願違：讓你重新找回笑容的88則勇敢小語
作者： 長澤玲子
譯者：馬曉玲
出版社：啟思

猪的怕

你不要因为猪每天吃饱睡，睡醒吃，就自以为聪明的说：“要开心的像猪喔！”

猪虽然能够吃睡，可猪的内心深处也有不为人知的阴暗面。

人怕出名猪怕肥。

猪面对环境面对未来，也很忐忑，也就是一颗心很上下。

猪到了适当的年龄还未能在同伙中找到伴，猪现在的工作又看起来那么没前途。

总括的说猪的生活其实开心不起来。

猪渴望被人爱也渴望能爱人，至今还得不到。

猪也有七情六欲，猪也渴想男欢女爱。

一大把年纪的猪到现在还是爱看韩剧，虽然看起来幼稚；可是剧里的爱情画面给猪很甜蜜的感觉。

从未知到走在一起，从两个人分开的走一起，到拉起手；唉，猪只能凭空想像。

15 Things Men Want In Relationships (But Might Not Tell You)

by Vishnu SubramaniamJune 27, 2016 5:15 AM
 
We love you. We need you. We want you. But what are we really looking for in a woman?
We won’t say out loud, or write it down, or put it in on our online profile, or even talk about it among ourselves.
No, most men are not in the habit of saying what they want. But I can tell you from my own experience, most (if not all) men want and need you to offer them these things:

1. Your kindness.

The world can be cruel and punishing. Our work is rough and our co-workers can be too competitive. We deal with judgment and comparisons by those closest to us. A little less judgment, a little more forgiveness and understanding from the woman we love goes a long way.

2. Your happiness.

Tell us you’re happy. Show us you’re happy. We want to be around you when you’re happy. We’ll be there during the tough times, but want to know that there are plenty of happy times and that we're responsible for some of them. Your happiness is contagious.

3. Your praise and appreciation.

The next time we do something well, tell us you appreciated it and how it improved your life or made you happy. Tell us how it made you feel and what you liked about it. Let us know that you’re grateful we’re in your life and you appreciate our company, contribution, and companionship.

4. Your approval.

We don’t like to admit it, but often we don’t think you approve of what we do, how we behave or live. Take those opportunities when we do get it right to let us know that you approve. Tell us you approve of our decisions, our choices, or the way we handled something. Tell us you’re proud of us.

5. Your touch.

We need your touch, your caress, your kisses. Your intimacy is important to us—maybe a bit too important. When we’re touched, we feel loved. When you’re generous with your affection, you make us feel on top of the world.

6. Your passion.

We want you to want us, to desire us, to tell us that you’re into us. Express your passion to us.

7. Your strength and support.

We need you most when we’re facing challenges in our own lives. While we may not talk about it, we need someone with your quiet strength. We need someone to provide balance, support, and encouragement. Tell us you have our backs when we’re going through our struggles. We may not want to talk about it much, but be there for us when we do need you.

8. Your presence and understanding.

We’re problem-solvers and like to fix things. When dealing with problems, we don’t need solutions as much as we need your presence and understanding. We may not even feel like talking about what we’re experiencing, but you being there, being understanding and supportive is all we need. We just want to know that we’re not alone.

9. Your humility and ability to let go.

We want women who respect us and treat us as their equals. We want women who are willing to compromise and who let go of grudges quickly. If we screwed up, don’t hold it against us forever. Let go of the grudge and give us another chance.

10. Your loyalty.

Like you, we want to feel like we’re the only one in your life. Help us feel more certain of you by showing that you're committed to us. Be there for us when we need you most. Support us when no one else does. Be our committed partner in crime.

11. Your trust.

We value your trust and you trusting in us. We want you to be there for us and want to know that we can count on you when we need you. By the same token, we want you to trust that we’re dependable, committed, and will be there for you when you need us.

12. Your patience.

We’re not perfect, and may not be exactly the man you want just yet. We appreciate your patience in helping us grow into the best version of ourselves we can be. We’re not going to become our highest selves overnight. Your encouragement and patience will give us what we need to transform.

13. Your lightheartedness and laughter.

To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, "Life is far too important to be taken seriously." People make mistakes, stumble, and even disappoint each other. While we face difficult, distressing news in the world, we want to be with someone who can still find joy in the little things. Your laughter, humor, and perspective on what matters help us enjoy life more.

14. Your friendship.

We need your friendship first and always. We want to enjoy spending time with you, we want to share your interests, and we want to feel comfortable around you. Cultivate our friendship first and win our heart forever.

15. Your distance (sometimes).

It’s not that we’re all a bunch of cavemen who need as much time alone as we do with you, but we do need to recharge emotionally. The biggest gift you can give us is some time alone and time to pursue the interests we have that you might not share. It keeps us balanced and gives us a chance to miss you.

不要被情緒綁架：放下憤怒，與自己和解

by Chloe Wu 2015/06/14  

生活中難免有情緒，當別人誤解我們，或是和他人產生爭執，應該要怎麼安撫自己呢？來試試女人迷駐站作家 Chloe 提供的靜心方式吧，先好好讓自己冷靜下來，再給自己一個大大的擁抱吧。（同場加映：「至少，他對我很誠實？」放下情緒勒索換來的假性親密）

親愛的，前幾天發生了讓我頭痛的事情，也讓我有很多情緒起伏。我與朋友一起做事情，但事情的結尾因為一些狀況而受到朋友的指責和不理解。
當下對於指責我感到錯愕，也覺得難過沒想到會讓他有這樣的感覺，也沒想到他會用這麼傷人的字眼來說話。雖然在過程中感覺自己理智線瀕臨斷裂，但努力持平之後，我發現其實我真正憤怒的，並不是他說了什麼話，而是在這整個過程中，似乎因為不符合他預期的處理方式，而讓我在這個過程中所有的努力都化為烏有。（延伸閱讀：一位男主管的殘酷告白：情緒化是女人職場致命傷）

（圖片來源）

所以我看見我的憤怒，來自於我的挫敗，來自於我的努力瞬間歸零，當然也來自於我所秉持的原則並不被人理解和接受，同時也來自於我的疏失，沒有在一開始鉅細靡遺地把事情講清楚，也來自於錯愕，沒想到朋友會提出超乎我預料的要求。
我靜靜地感受自己的情緒波動，我很清楚，我不是神，我只是個人，我還是有情緒起伏，我還是血肉之軀，我還是會難過、會生氣、會挫敗，而我的工作教會我的，是對自己的情緒誠實，而不將情緒轉嫁他人。是看清楚來源，去理解自己真正的感受。去照顧自己的情緒，去安撫與陪伴憤怒的自己。（和你分享：如何維持情緒健康：讓溝通更有意義的人際關係檢測法）
晚上的靜心，我對自己這樣說：

親愛的，辛苦了。
我接受自己的努力在他人眼中，什麼都不是，或者不被認同、理解、感謝與珍惜。
我接受這段考驗是為了讓我日後做事更謹慎。
我接受任何人可能提出任何出乎我意料的要求。
我接受這一切不符合我的預期。
親愛的，即使結果不完美，我依然肯定妳在當中的付出與努力。

然後稍晚，我平靜地入眠了。
當我對自己說完這些話，我可以感受到自己緊繃的身體鬆開了，緊張戒備的頭腦也放開了，鬱悶的胸口也跟著平靜了下來，周圍的空氣轉而成為一種安寧與靜謐，然後我在這份安然與和解裡，做了非常美麗的夢。（一起練習：臉書不該是你的情緒垃圾桶）
親愛的，我們都努力的生活著，但我們都要練習覺醒的是，當這些努力是為了獲取認同，我們會一再地挫敗，一再地憤怒，一再地悲傷難過，我們需要清楚努力是為了什麼？如果我們的努力是想要讓某些人、某些事更好時，我們都需要學習去鬆開那份渴望他人給予肯定與認同的心情，因為我們無法去決定或操縱一切成為我們渴望的結局，因為這就是我們過的：人生。

來和 Chloe Wu 一起療心：https://www.facebook.c

What Does A "Normal" Period Look Like? The Ultimate Guide To Your Cycle

by Aimee RauppSeptember 22, 2016 5:22 AM
 
You've probably wondered (maybe on more than one occasion), is my period normal?
Maybe you've even secretly compared yourself to one of your girlfriends, thinking something like, why do my cramps seem much worse than hers? Why does she always break out around her period and I don't? Why doesn't she have to miss a day from work when her period comes?
The truth is that every woman has a different period experience. And on top of that, every monthly menstrual cycle can look different for every woman.
As an acupuncturist and practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine who specializes in women's health, I talk about periods with my patients all day long. And while every woman and every menstrual cycle is different, there are some basics that I look for to determine period health.

Here are the top signs of a healthy, regular period.

1. Your periods should come with regularity each month, and ideally be spaced out 28 to 35 days apart (with the first day of bleeding being cycle day one).
2. Your period should come on quietly. By that I mean that there should be minimum premenstrual symptoms, slight breast tenderness, minimal cramping, and a touch of moodiness.
3. Your period should last four to six days, starting heavier on cycle days one and two (about eight tablespoons of blood or about three to four super tampons or six to eight regular tampons) and then slowly taper off the last few days (anywhere between two and six tablespoons of blood or one to two super tampons or three or so regular tampons).
4. Bleeding should not at any point be excessive, meaning you should be able to go a few hours with a super tampon in and not leak.
5. Bleeding should also not be super light, meaning you shouldn't be able to get by with only wearing a panty liner during the first few days of your cycle.
6. The blood with your period should be a garnetlike fresh red color; it shouldn't be dark brown or pale pink.
7. Small, wet Kleenex-tissue-like, dime-size clots are normal; bigger quarter-size ones are not.
One really important thing to remember about your period is that in order for any irregularity to be considered problematic, it has to happen three months in a row. Some months you may get a random heavy period and it could just be a fluke.

Here are my top tips for healthy ovulation:

Now one really important thing to keep in mind, especially if you are trying to get pregnant or trying to avoid getting pregnant, is that ovulation is key to your menstrual cycle. The days leading up to ovulation are when you are the most fertile. Here's how to know if your ovulation schedule is on track.
1. Efficient ovulation occurs between cycle days 14 to 21 (again, with cycle day one being the first day of your menstrual flow).
2. The day of ovulation varies depending on your average menstrual cycle length, but it usually falls about midway between the cycle. Meaning, if you have a 30-day cycle, you should ovulate right around cycle day 15.
3. Ovulation should come on with a few days of clear, uncooked-egg-white cervical mucus (or vaginal discharge). Most women see this type of discharge for a few days leading up to ovulation. They typically see it when they wipe and just notice an increased feeling of wetness down there.
4. When you are about to ovulate, you should feel an uptick in your sex drive.
5. Some women feel a slight twinge or heaviness in the lower abdomen (where their ovaries are located) when ovulation is occurring, although not every woman feels this. Some women experience slight breast tenderness with ovulation.
6. Feeling sharp, stabbing pain during ovulation is not normal, and neither is seeing blood midcycle. (It's not normal to see blood at any point during the cycle, other than during your menstrual flow.)
And there you have it. Keep in mind that these rules are for women who are not on the birth control pill. The Pill changes your cycle in many ways, and the bleed you experience each month is a withdrawal bleed from not taking the pills, not a natural menstrual cycle.
If your natural menstrual cycle consistently does not look like what I described, then I would recommend making lifestyle and dietary shifts that support hormonal balance.

These tips have been adapted from my books, Chill Out & Get Healthy: Live Clean to Stay Strong & Feel Sexy and You Can Get Pregnant: Natural Ways to Improve Your Fertility Now & Into Your 40s, now available in stores.

無法讓恐懼消失，就與它「和平共處」！ 西班牙藝術家的「超暖心」的 15張插圖，讓你獲得 滿滿正能量！

• 瀏覽人次 : 54224
• 撰文者：宛宛
• 標籤：
  品味人生, 激勵人生, 宛宛, CMoney官方
   (所有圖片來源皆取自:Stuff No One Told Me)
  
  再開朗的人，
  也總是會有心情低落的時候，
  何況有些本是悲觀的人，
  在不開心的時候，
  很多煩惱更是會往心裡去...
  只會讓自己更加憂鬱，
  
  看看這個西班牙藝術家Alex Noriega，
  透過一連串的暖心圖文，
  來勉勵陷入沮喪的人們，
  

  他的畫裡面，

  充滿許多能激勵、鼓勵人心的能量！

  
  一起來看看...
  
  
  

  1.  你領的薪水無法決定 你人有多好

  什麼都要比、什麼都要競爭的時代，
  人人比學歷、比資歷、更要比薪水，
  但永遠記得，薪水高，
  也不代表你人品就高！
  
  
  
  
  

  2.  同一件事有不有趣，

  是「相對」的概念！

  明明都是同一件事情，
  有人覺得很有趣，
  有人卻不以為然，甚至覺得無聊，
  人各有志，
  不要強求別人的想法都要跟你一樣，
  想開了，你會比較開心一點。
  
  
  
  
  

  3.  花太多時間思考 同一個難題，

  並不會讓它 變的容易解決。

  別讓自己陷入死胡同裡，
  有時候，你越想從一個問題裡面得到解答，
  卻總是天不從人願，
  越思考、越煩惱，最後什麼也沒得到，
  只換來一身筋疲力盡...
  所以你需要適當的讓大腦休息一下。
  
  
  
  
  

  4.成功，意味著有些東西

  與他人不同。請尊重這點！

  成功的人之所以被冠上成功的桂冠，
  也許就是有個特別之處，
  和別人就是不一樣。
  不要害怕改變、也不要原地踏步，
  有時候一點點的突破，
  會讓你得到意料之外的好處～
  
  
  
  
  

  5.你不是特別懶散，

  你只是哺乳類動物

  你常覺得疲憊、覺得總是需要休息，
  但又充滿罪惡感，認為自己太過怠惰，
  其實，事情沒有那麼嚴重，
  該休息的時候不休息，
  才是虐待自己的行為...
  人為血肉之軀，
  休息，是為了走向更有力量的未來！
  
  
  
  

  6.有些看似很有趣的人，

  其實他們對人生 毫無頭緒...

  別總是羨慕別人了，
  看似風光、逍遙的那些人啊，
  也是有迷惘的一天...
  認真過好眼前的日子，
  做好每一件該做的事，
  才是讓自己活得更值得的好方法。
  
  
  
  
  

  7.那些說不出口的事，

  往往都是 相當重要的！

  很多沒能被說出口的事，
  其實都是關鍵、都是重點，
  做人阿，如果能在別人說出口之前，
  就發現對方的真正想法，
  有時還真是種體貼。
  
  
  
  
  
  

  8.不要覺得自己奇怪，

  每個人都覺得 自己跟別人不一樣

  別害怕當個與眾不同的人，
  在這個瞬息萬變的社會，
  有時候，就是那個「不一樣」，
  讓你找到人生的價值，
  和更想努力的目標！
  
  
  
  

  9.做你覺得對的事，

  不需要總是 經過別人允許

  想做什麼事，
  只要你認為是對的、是正向的，
  其實你大可勇敢去做，
  別總是等別人的允許才做，
  到那時，往往都已經來不及了...
  
  
  
  
  

  10.你的家庭問題 不是你的問題

  別總是把所有的錯攬在自己身上，
  有時候，你也是無可奈何，
  我們尊重原生家庭給的一切，
  但若有不合理、不對等、
  甚至夾雜太多問題出現時，
  別獨自承攬所有的錯，
  很多事，真的不是你的問題。
  
  
  
  
  

  11.「睡覺」很健康，

  而且不費吹灰之力！

  有多久沒有好好睡一場覺呢?
  每天忙事業、忙家庭、忙長輩的事，
  你太忙了，需要好好睡上一覺，
  你會發現，醒來之後，
  頭上的烏雲，會減少一大半:)
  
  
  
  

  12. 說聲「嗨！」

  是對抗沉默最好的方法

  總發過這樣的狀況，
  面對不熟的人卻又必須待在同一個空間，
  那種感覺真尷尬，
  別擔心，有時候一句「嗨！」
  就能消除沉默，開啟彼此的話匣子。
  
  
  
  

  13.接受你可能 會失敗的事實，

  事情會容易許多

  嘗試一件新事物，都可能會失敗，
  這時候就不能放太重的得失心，
  期望越高、摔得越重，
  預先做好心理建設，
  即使失敗了、跌慘了，
  你也不會那麼痛。
  
  
  
  

  14.當一個普通的「正常人」

  可能是你曾經試過 最遜的事！

  人生苦短，可以的話，
  為自己瘋狂一回吧！
  去挑戰不敢做的事，
  你將看見原來自己的骨子裡，
  是多麼與眾不同，
  別永遠當個戰戰兢兢、小心謹慎的普通人，
  否則，你會失去很多機會、
  也失去很多人生美好的光景...
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  

  15.既然無法 讓恐懼感消失，

  就學習跟它 和平共處吧！

  人都會有害怕的事物，
  你越是逃避、就越害怕，
  這是不變的真理。
  如果還有想要克服的意願，
  那第一步就是：
  勇敢面對它、內化它、接受它！
  
  
  
  
  
  本文由 CMoney官方 撰寫，
  未經授權，請勿轉載！

前路茫茫的猪

猪现在作着一分不算如意的工作，看不见未来。

猪尝试换过工，却因为恐慌症的发作，猪放弃了。

现在虽然一切照旧，猪却还是焦虑。

渐长的年岁，茫然的未来；猪不知道到底是因为没有换新工作而焦虑，还是因为换新工作而焦虑。

而现在的猪总是想太多，未来30年后的事情都先借来焦虑。

猪多希望自己是一只天塌下来当被盖的猪。

猪多希望可以有光明的前途和钱途。

可是猪只觉得前路茫茫。

9 Small Choices That'll Make Every Day Happier

You don’t have to travel around the world or spend years in a monastery to find happiness. Happiness is all around us—within us. That means it isn’t some far-off, unimaginable destination. It's something you can cultivate through small, consistent actions.
These nine small adjustments will help you tap into happiness more and more with every passing day.

“Happiness is not ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” —The Dalai Lama

1. Choose to appreciate rather than to complain.

You can complain until you're blue in the face. You can complain that you’re reading this article, that it’s too cold outside, that life isn't fair. But it's a surefire way to feel lousy about yourself and everything around you.
When you have the option of complaining—don’t. Instead, ask yourself, “What can I appreciate about the circumstances in front of me? What is good about my work or where I live?” Refrain from complaining and spend more time in gratitude for the many good things in your life.
Appreciation is happiness at your fingertips.

2. Choose people over things.

How much of your day do you spend focused on things? How much of your time is spent earning more money to pay for cars, houses and shopping? Having more stuff seldom makes us happy.
Saying “hello” to a coworker, neighbor, or grocery store clerk, on the other hand, will help you connect with others and spark a moment of humanity and cheer.

3. Choose compassion over judgment.

Think about how many judgments you make each day. Next time you find yourself judging, flip the judgment to compassion. Instead of condemning with your mind, see if you can find the good. Can you help? Can you uplift? Can you understand?

4. Choose generosity over selfishness.

In an all-about-me culture, doing something selfless for someone else is an instant mood-booster.
If you’re feeling down, help a coworker. Let someone cut in line, say hello to a stranger, or give your afternoon snack to the homeless veteran.
Any time you give, you get happiness in return. Give without expectations.

5. Choose to focus on solutions rather than problems.

You can focus on failure, roadblocks, etc., or you can look for answers, find solutions, and overcome the obstacle in front of you. When you look for solutions, you're being proactive and optimistic. That always encourages happiness.

6. Choose acceptance over resistance.

If you go around resisting everything that comes into your life, you’ll always be angry and frustrated.
Accept that things won't always go your way. Deal with the disappointment and then try again. If you resist pain, you can’t deal with it. If you accept it first, you can find a way through it.

7. Choose the high road rather than being petty.

Someone cuts you off on the road or takes your leftover sandwich from the fridge. Let go of grudges. Forgive quickly and choose the high road. When you don’t respond to snarky emails in kind, or treat rude waiters with condescension, you'll feel happier quickly, and might even be able to perk up the people who upset you.
The high road always wins when it comes to happiness.

8. Choose your truth over society's demands.

The easiest way to feel unhappy and frustrated with life is to play by life’s rules, follow and do what everyone else is doing—just because they're doing it.
As years go by, the more you conform and blindly follow society’s lead, the more miserable you’ll be.
Choose to live your truth; follow your heart’s lead, bow out of unwanted obligations and live the life you desire. Ignore cultural noise, or demands for you to conform.

9. Choose to take achievable daily actions rather than make grandiose bucket lists.

Bucket lists are where dreams go to die. You may put your most-wanted dreams on your bucket list, but don’t put off your happiness till some future experience is realized.
Pick a few small things you really want to change or do and start taking the steps toward making that happen today. Save up for that trip, start on that passion project, write that book. By the time you’re ready to dive into your bucket list, you might not be here!
Working on your most treasured dreams today is maybe the best way I know to be happier immediately, and every day.

太胖走路燒襠嗎？睡前靠 5 招「大腿有洞」不是夢！

 https://www.juksy.com/archives/58288

其實除了螞蟻腰令人羨慕以外，還有一個部位是瘦子的第二特徵，那就是「大腿有洞」，若你想看看自己是否是瘦子，不如試試看雙腳併攏，能夠看到後面的世界，那就可以關閉這篇文章了，但若是你無法看穿後面，接下來你就必須看下去，每天睡前勤練這 5 招，你也能擁有瘦子的第二特徵！

睡前訓練 1 ：側躺抬腳
▼以側躺並且一腳彎曲，而另一腳抬高，利用大腿內側的力量出力，抬起懸空停留 5 秒，重複動作 5 次。


睡前訓練 2 ：雙腳夾球
▼沒有軟球可以選擇枕頭，躺平雙腳彎曲，將枕頭夾於膝蓋之間，用大腿內力量往內夾，停留 3 秒鐘，再慢慢地打開，重複動作 5 次。



睡前訓練 3 ：抬腳開合
▼躺平雙手張開貼於地面，雙腳抬起呈現 L 型，並且腳尖往天花板延伸，做開合交叉為 1 次，共做 15 次。


睡前訓練 4 ：深蹲
▼雙手合十，吐氣時往腹部內側向下，千萬不能用膝蓋力量支撐，會導致膝蓋受傷，必須像坐椅子的方式向下，同樣做 15 次。


睡前訓練 5 ：深蹲停留
▼雙腳張開，同樣利用臀部力量往下蹲，背部挺直並且雙手輕摸地，隨著呼吸停留 5 至 10 秒。


這些動作是不是一點也不難呢？睡前做滿這 5 招，相信你們也可以邁向瘦子之路，小編先跑一步了，我要當瘦子！

How I Used Meditation To Beat Addiction & Heal My Anxiety

by Desiree PaisOctober 18, 2016 3:00 AM

Photo: mbg creative

Meditation pro Light Watkins’ new class A Meditation Expert’s 14-Day Guide to Creating a Daily Practice kicks off this week, so we’re taking a closer look at the transformative power of meditation and how it changes people’s lives for the better through personal stories. 
Before taking up yoga and meditation in 2010, I took a daily cocktail of four different kinds of anxiety medications and antidepressants. I was also taking Adderall recreationally and smoking up to a pack of cigarettes a day, which are stimulants. My nervous system was on overload.
But on the first day of my yoga teacher training, I went into my medicine cabinet and threw everything out in one fell swoop, something I would highly advise against. I thought taking up yoga would immediately heal me, but I was wrong.
I'm so tired of hearing the "and then yoga changed my life" story over and over. You know what? I was a mess for five whole years after leaving my job in the fashion industry. I was perpetually anxious, severely depressed, and engaging in extremely destructive behaviors all while practicing and teaching yoga. I was endlessly searching for the happiness that these practices promised. But I just felt worse and worse while everyone else seemed to be feeling better and better around me.

Photo credit: Desiree Pais

Yoga as a destructive force

I began learning way too much about food, health, wellness, cleansing, and the body, in a way that is intended to be beneficial but was really fueled by fear. I had developed an eating disorder in the fashion world, which developed into orthorexia. I became infinitely more anxious because I was afraid to eat, do, or say anything that wasn't on the wellness world's list of "approved items."
At one point, I was so afraid to eat anything that I ate only meat and greens for four months. No fats, no carbohydrates, no nothing. I was afraid of eating anything that was acidic because god forbid I ate something nonalkaline. I was terrified to go out with friends because I might be tempted to, you know, have fun.

Finding a yoga and meditation practice that worked for me

When I started practicing Kundalini yoga in 2015, it was the first time I began to feel empowered by my yoga and meditation practice rather than restrained, restricted, and riddled with fear. I began to learn how the mind actually works, how the body actually works, how we create our reality, and most importantly, how our emotional state is the causative factor for our physical well-being.

I was doing all the right things, but I looked and felt like crap.

 

If we look at the baseline frequency of anxiety and depression, we see that anxiety is worry about a future event and depression is a melancholy over something that happened in the past. I learned that my constant state of worry was taking a massive toll on my hormones, my immune system, and my overall well-being. I was doing all the right things, but I looked and felt like crap.
As I began to learn more about the body and the mind through the Kundalini yoga practice, I started to feel empowered. Kundalini offers hundreds of kriyas and meditations to work with whatever you're dealing with. When I first started, I was stuck in very strong, addictive behaviors: smoking, worrying about food, self-mutilation, the list goes on.

Photo credit: Benshen

I added in three minutes of the addictions mediation, and within two weeks I couldn't even stand the smell of cigarette smoke. I fought it because I love smoking (bet you weren't expecting that one), but every time I would have a cigarette my throat would get extremely itchy, my allergies would act up immediately, and then finally, after three weeks, I developed the most intense gag reflex whenever I would smoke. I didn't even try to quit the smoking; I just added in the meditation to heal addictions, for three minutes. That's it.
A year and a half later, I can't say all of my anxieties and depression are completely gone. I'm human. But what I can say is that through these practices, I've been able to develop enough strength and power to navigate these human experiences and very real human emotions, and I don't let them take over my life. I have been able to get subtle enough through my practice to be able to pinpoint the exact emotions that cause me to feel anxious rather than falling victim to random anxiety.
Some days, I still get depressed over something and need to sit on the couch watching New Girl until the cows come home. And you know what? I'm OK with that because I'm human and I am doing the absolute best I can. Those days, however, rather than happening multiple times a week now happen once every few months.
The beauty in these ancient practices is that they don't promise happiness, even if the industry says otherwise. What they do offer is a technique in which we can build some power in our system so that we can choose happiness. Happiness is a choice, not a prize. The question is, are we strong enough to choose happiness no matter what is going on?
I think so.

呼吸不佳 引起身心失調

• 文章出處：康健雜誌159期
• 2012.02.01
• 作者 ： Judy
• 圖片來源 ： 康健雜誌

她本來是很優秀的職場女性，為了家庭及小孩必須離開職場，但內心一直有很深的焦慮，怕自己和職場脫節，也怕無法為先生分擔家計，即使練習瑜伽在伸展放鬆的同時，心裡最底層的焦慮仍無法消除，這些都反映在失眠，一週裡有兩、三天無法入睡，最後惡化到四、五天，逼得她只好去掛急診...

醫師只花了三分鐘就解決她的問題，「去打針，打一針就好睡了！」回來之後，不斷望著指針，直到過了七、八個鐘頭，她才感到些許睡意，但一睡下去夢境不斷。

解析

聽完她的問題，發現她的肩頸很僵硬而且骨架不正，原來她用肩頸去呼吸，難怪會讓身體無法休息，一直保持在亢奮的狀態。

呼吸最重要的是肚子，肚子必須起伏，橫膈膜才能上下移動，讓胸腔體積改變。但瘦瘦的她有個硬梆梆的肚子，「我以為大家的肚子都這樣！」

肚子不會動，就是她的問題來源。在上完一次呼吸課後的隔天，她開心的說：「我總算用自己的方式睡著了，就用妳教的丹田式呼吸法。我不用再靠藥物入眠了。」但她又煩惱了，因為老公的肚子也是硬梆梆。

「沒有呼吸，就沒有瑜伽（Without the breath, there is no yoga.）」這是瑜伽經典上的名言。很多人在練習瑜伽時，依恃著自身柔軟度而恣意做一些拗來拗去的體位法，這種超過最大關節活動角度的動作不值得鼓勵，一來是讓關節之間的軟骨磨損，尤其是膝蓋軟骨及脊椎椎間盤；二來是體位法的重點在於能量的流動，呼吸才是重點，就像帆船需要風，呼吸就是風息，能帶動船的移動。

呼吸是走入 內在寧靜的方法

每一個體位法的動作，從伸展到放鬆，都必須和呼吸做結合。用呼吸去帶領所有的動作，能促進全身的循環，就像香港人煲湯一樣，慢火細熬才能熬出食材原味。

呼吸，就像氣一樣，能讓身體產生火，燃燒體內毒素的同時也產生能量。深呼吸可以讓一個人遠離各種疾病，同時也是一條通往心靈的道路，在瑜伽八支的精神裡，體位法的訓練之後，接下來就是呼吸法的訓練，梵文為Pranayama（生命能量調息法），Prana是生命能量之意，yama是調息，可透過各種呼吸法的訓練，讓氣周行全身。

在東方古老的哲學《莊子‧大宗師篇》裡云：「真人之息以踵，眾人之息以喉。」踵是腳跟的意思。有修為的真人呼吸，是用腳跟呼吸，這是西方解剖學無法想像的，甚至東方各家學派解讀不一，但可以理解的是，呼吸能帶動全身的循環，下半身變輕之後，再搭配腳底足弓的彈性，走路就像腳跟按了彈簧墊一樣毫不費力，這就是古人所說的「走路不用腳力，要用腰力」。

呼吸不佳引起身心失調

現在的人多用喉頭、肩頸呼吸的模式，長期下來會造成肩頸肌肉緊張，呼吸變得愈來愈淺，呼吸的長短是一種訊號，它會造成大腦神經及內分泌系統的緊張，大腦會啟動求生狀態，交感神經開始亢奮，腎上腺分泌旺盛，身體會進入「攻擊或逃走」的備戰狀態，潛意識的恐懼會開始在思想裡滲透。身心處在失衡的狀況下會有以下症狀，例如失眠、恐懼、焦慮、夢魘等等。

這些都是因為生理影響心理的典型症狀，最後會演變為相互影響而使得身心受到極大的煎熬。上述案例，就是呼吸很淺或是呼吸很用力，但肚子很硬不會放鬆。也就是說，呼吸要練好，必須連同肚子和胸口一起練習，肚子有另一個名稱，謂之「腹腦」，雙腦必須相連，身心才能放鬆。

左右交替呼吸法

1.左右呼吸法手勢，右手食指及中指向內彎屈。

2.用右手大拇指按住右鼻孔，左鼻孔吸氣至左胸，撐大每一根肋骨。

3.吸飽後，右手無名指按住左鼻孔，用右鼻孔吐氣。

4.用大拇指和無名指分別按住兩鼻孔，止息一下為一回合。

放開右手拇指吸氣後再按住，換左鼻孔吐氣，重覆2～4步驟，做5～10回。

圖解說明：

3 Things To Do If You Want To Be Happy Every Day

by Fran SorinOctober 18, 2016 5:43 AM
 
It doesn't seem that long ago that the amount of money and possessions you accumulated were considered the sole indicators of your success.
Today, people are seeking deeper meaning, connections, and well-being in their lives.
In fact, I've coined the phrase "Well-being is the new success" as a reminder to myself and others that how we feel is much more important than the status we accumulate.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny."
As Gandhi explained, our thoughts ultimately create our destinies. It's important to remember that our lives are limited only by our own thoughts.
In the book You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter, Dr. Joe Dispenza writes that in order to change some aspect of our reality, we need to learn to think, feel, and act in new ways.
Much like the renowned author Napoleon Hill, Dr. Dispenza suggests that you need to hold clear, focused thoughts about what you want coupled with heightened emotional energy. By combining the two, you put out a stronger vibration that pulls you toward the potential reality that you deeply desire.
If our emotions are linked to our neurology, immune, and endocrine system, then it makes sense that when we feel something, it creates a physical change. We then have a choice: We can allow that emotion to take control or use mindfulness to work toward replacing it with positive thoughts and feelings.
Here are three tips that will enable you to maintain your well-being every day:

1. Become friends with your emotions.

Take a couple of minutes to sit quietly with no distractions; focus on your breathing. Follow the rhythm of your breath and notice what thoughts or emotions grab your attention. Allow them to rise. As they do, imagine capturing each thought or emotion in a bubble.
Once your mind is quiet, visualize blowing that bubble away. Watch it drift upward, higher and higher, until it's no longer a part of you; then bring your attention back to your breath. Is your breathing now deeper? Slower, perhaps? Allow yourself a few moments to sink into this feeling of peacefulness and connect with your breathing.
Remember, your thoughts and emotions can be best friends. They play off each other and define the attitude you take into each day. At some point, whether our alarm fails to go off or we stub our toe getting out of bed, our thoughts spiral downward. We then begin worrying about that meeting with the boss or the fight we had with our partner last night. These thoughts become our attitude for the day and will follow us around like a magnet attracting other bad things.

2. Develop a gratitude practice.

When waking up or before going to sleep, run through a list of 10 things for which you are grateful. You'll be surprised how easy it is once you slow down, observe, and awaken your senses. We rush through so much of our lives that we miss out on the opportunity to appreciate the little things that contribute to well-being.
Here are some examples of things you might feel grateful for:

• Hearing the birds chirping
• A good night's sleep
• A comfortable bed
• Stretching your body (feeling healthy)
• Drinking a freshly brewed cup of coffee
• Receiving and giving "good morning" hugs to family members
• Snuggling with a pet
• The sun glistening through the trees
• Arriving at work with no traffic jams
• Smiling at a stranger on the street and having them return the smile
• Making and selecting nutritious food that you love

I keep a notebook near my bed so that immediately upon waking, I can go straight into writing down thoughts of gratitude. The thoughts don't have to be associated with something that has happened within the past 24 hours. You can think about a dear friend that you haven't seen in months and experience feelings of deep appreciation and love.
If you want to take it a step further, practice feeling gratitude for things in your life that have not yet happened. For example, let's say you're working on becoming a published author. Take a few moments to feel gratitude for having become a published author; in other words, feel as if what you are dreaming about has happened.
I think you'll be surprised at how much this gratitude practice will affect your future.

3. Connect with nature.

Go outside. Even five minutes during a lunch break will do. Find a patch of grass and remove your shoes. Stand upright and visualize, sense, or imagine you have roots growing out of the soles of your feet, connecting deeply with the earth. With each breath, feel the energy drawing up from the earth, spreading all the way through your body until you feel it flowing out of your fingertips.
Now visualize, sense, or imagine your heart overflowing with gratitude and send that love back down through your feet into the earth. As you are doing this, concentrate on your breathing, become aware of your senses, feel the warmth of the sun on your face, the cool breeze on your skin, the songs of the birds. Expand your awareness and drink in the connection you are creating between your mind, body, and spirit.

10 Ways To Use The Law Of Attraction To Get Exactly What You Want (In Love & Everything Else)

by Monica ParikhOctober 14, 2016 4:07 AM 
Monica Parikh is an attorney, writer, and dating coach who aims to empower women to be their best selves and attract healthy, rewarding love. Now, Monica is bringing her in-depth insight and real-world experience to women everywhere. If you’re ready to be the best version of yourself and attract a partner who deserves you, check out Monica’s class: 28 Days To Attracting Your Best Relationship & Building A More Confident You.
In this series of articles, I've been examining the breakup of Deidre and Mac—a couple whose relationship ended on the cusp of their wedding. Deidre is understandably devastated. It's been two months since Mac moved out, and Deidre has heard nothing.
One day, she called me in a panic. Deidre had bumped into an old colleague who innocently asked, "When are you and Mac getting married? He's such a great guy!" Deidre felt like she had been punched in the face. Not wanting to cause a scene, she quickly excused herself. In the safety of her apartment, she broke down in tears.
"Breathe deep," I told her. Then, I gave her the advice I give all my clients:
"It's time to raise your vibrational frequency."
The Law of Attraction states the higher your vibrational frequency, the more abundance, happiness, and prosperity flow into your life. By raising her vibrational frequency, Deidre increases her chances for a positive outcome—with or without her ex.

It often takes space and time to see the ultimate lesson. Be patient.

Regardless of whether you've just suffered a breakup or have been single for a while, it's important to become an inspiring person who draws other healthy people to you. I suggest the following:

1. Love yourself full-out.

Relationships come and go. The one person you can count on through thick and thin is you. So, do you. Treat yourself like gold. Get a massage. Cook a healthy meal and light some candles. Buy yourself a stunning new outfit.
Most importantly, be gentle in your self-talk. Muzzle the negative voice in your head. Would you berate a person who is grieving? If you wouldn't do it to someone else, don't do it to yourself.

2. Believe in the highest and best outcome.

Life can kick you in the teeth. But believe everything happens for a reason—and for your benefit.
In this case, I counseled Deidre to be open to possibilities. She needs to stop clinging to any particular outcome—and instead have faith that the Universe is conspiring in her favor.
Perhaps this time apart is necessary for Deidre and Mac to work through their issues individually and then come back together as stronger and healthier people.
Or, perhaps Mac is not a suitable partner. In which case, Deidre has dodged a bullet, as Mac would have certainly disappeared post-marriage and/or children. What if the Universe is creating space for someone better to enter Deidre's life? Someone who shares her goals, values, and dreams and is in a healthier mental state?
It often takes space and time to see the ultimate lesson. Be patient.

3. Choose light.

In the throes of heartbreak, you'll want to tell the world that your ex is a dog. Ranting feels good in the moment, but it is dishonest. It doesn't speak to your whole relationship. If he was that bad, why did you stay? And why does part of you want him back?
Anger, bitterness, hatred, and resentment are low-vibrational states. They are ugly—and keep you stuck and alone.
Being happy is the best revenge. And, it's extremely attractive. Gratitude, forgiveness, kindness, and joy are high-vibrational states.
High-vibration people understand that happiness does not depend upon perfect circumstances. Instead, it's a choice consciously made every single day.

4. Express gratitude.

Imagine that you cooked an elaborate meal for me. You spent all day shopping, chopping, cleaning, and cooking. When I sat at your table, I scarfed down my food. Then, I got up and left, offering nary a word of thanks. Would you be motivated to keep on making elaborate feasts?
I didn't think so.
Yet, every day, people forget to be grateful for the blessings of their life but then demand greater and greater abundance to flow, despite their ingratitude.
It's hard to be grateful when life has you up against the ropes, gasping for air. But this is when the practice is most important. Be thankful for your health. Be thankful for food. Be thankful for clean running water. Be thankful for your body. Find every last crumb of joy and praise the Universe before you ask for more.

5. Be a diligent watchman of your words and thoughts.

Make no mistake, your words and thoughts create your reality.
I once had two clients in their late 50s. They were equally attractive. Both suffered heartbreak.
The first one, Ms. Glass Half-Full, was always smiling and ebullient. She anticipated good fortune. She would say, "I am going to meet an amazing man. I can't wait!"
The second one, Ms. Glass Half-Empty, was always frowning and complaining. She thought the Universe was never fair to her. She would say, "Men love younger women. I'm too old to find love."
Which of these two do you think had no shortage of dates?
That's right—the one whose words and thoughts were trained toward success.
Don't dwell on negative words or thoughts—unless you're hoping to make them a reality.

6. Meditate.

Throughout the day, you have millions of repetitive, anxious, and negative thoughts (we all do). But you must quiet this chatter, so you can tap into your intuition and raise your vibrational frequency.
A daily meditation practice is integral to achieving this. Start small. Sit in a quiet space. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply in and out. As your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the present moment. Ten minutes a day is all you need to reap enormous benefit.
If you're intimidated, consider signing up for a class or doing a guided meditation. I personally love "The Honest Guys"—and they’re free.

7. Exercise.

The greatest creators understand that spiritual, emotional, and physical health are inextricably linked. Exercise is nonnegotiable. In fact, there may be no faster way—except through prayer and meditation—to raise your vibrational state quickly.
You don't have to run a marathon. Instead, take a walk outside. Garden. Ride your bike. Make it a priority to do something physical every single day.

8. Surround yourself with positive people.

Misery loves company. Avoid it at all costs. If you're grieving the loss of love, you have no time to hang out with Debbie Downers—the kind of friends who whine, moan, complain, and are otherwise stuck in negativity. You need to "batten down the hatches"—to keep your head above water in rough seas.
Think about it, if you are dieting, would you go eat dinner with your junk-food-loving friends? Especially the ones who resent the fact that you are trying to eat healthy because you make them feel bad about themselves? The ones who wave pizza and doughnuts in your face, hoping you fall off the wagon? No, you wouldn't. Same with people mired in negativity.
The company you keep will either raise your vibrational frequency or lower it. So, double-down on time with friends and family who empower, celebrate, and motivate you. Reduce time with anyone who exhausts or depletes you.

9. Engage in positive and uplifting growth.

While you'll probably want to play Adele on a loop, resist the temptation. Lamenting the loss of love day after day is wasting precious time—and keeping you stuck in the darkness.
Instead, find ways to grow yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Find a good therapist or coach to help you understand your behavior and find ways you can change for the better. Join a gym to rid yourself of anger and get fit. Learn to paint or speak Spanish. Plan a trip.
As you keep busy—and find outlets to channel your energy productively—you'll be happier. And you'll realize that life does go on.

10. Laugh.

Laugh every single day. Call an old friend to revisit hilarious memories. Read David Sedaris. Watch Dave Chappelle, George Carlin, or Chris Rock on YouTube. Go see stand-up.
I love watching Eddie Murphy's old standup routines. They chase away the blues and remind me that we're all in this together—slogging through life in the best way we can.
As best said by Victor Hugo, "Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." So, light your face up with a smile.

Do These 6 Poses To Ease Anxiety + Save Your Sanity

We go straight to the source for a series of calming yoga postures.

By Karen L. Smith-Janssen

Colleen Saidman Yee wears many hats: international yoga instructor and Gaiam video star, founder of the Urban Zen Integrative Therapy Program, battler of epilepsy, former fashion model, and wife to ubiquitous yogi Rodney Yee. With the release of her latest book, Yoga for Life: A Journey to Inner Peace and Freedom, fans and newcomers alike get a chance to hear Saidman Yee's eye-opening life story. The book's fashionable whiff of sex, drugs, and yoga may pique surface interest, but her message is a deeper one of navigating obstacles like the hollow business of physical beauty, a car crash at age 15 that left her with brain trauma, and a very public yoga-world affair that led to her divorce (and the judgment of many strangers). At points in her life, insecurity and addiction delivered the kind of one-two punch that could knock a person into a permanent state of anxiety. Instead of letting trauma win, she found the perfect tool to help her recover: yoga. Here, Saidman Yee demonstrates six yoga poses to help soothe anxiety and then shares insights about her book. 

1. Mountain Pose

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

Standing poses elicit feelings of strength and control.

Stand with your back to the wall in Mountain Pose, with feet together and arms by your sides, for two regular breaths (image A). Exhale and hug your right knee into your belly (image B). Set the foot down as you inhale, and with an exhale, hug your left knee into your belly. Inhale and set your left foot down. Repeat four times on each side.  

2. Tree Pose

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

Balance poses, such as tree pose, demand a focus of the mind, which is crucial during anxious states. Pressing your palms together in prayer position helps you avoid feeling exposed and vulnerable.

Continue standing with the back of your torso against the wall, heels out about 4 to 6 inches. Hug your right knee into your belly and then place your right foot as high as possible on your left inner thigh. Press your palms together in front of your chest in prayer position. Stay for five breaths on each side.

3. Chair Pose With Eagle Arms

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

This is a challenging pose that keeps the mind attentive and requires strong use of the legs. The arms in Eagle Pose release tension in the upper back muscles between the shoulder blades. Having the wall behind you and your arms in front of your torso create a feeling of safety.

With your back against a wall, bend your knees as if lowering onto a chair. Bend your arms, sitting the right elbow into the crook of the left, backs of your hands facing each other. Pass your right hand in front of your left and bring the palms together, thumbs pointing toward the tip of your nose. (Grab your wrist if you can't press your palms together.) Hold for five breaths, then reverse your arms and hold for five more breaths. As you inhale, lift your elbows slightly. As you exhale, bend your knees a little more deeply.

4. Standing Forward Bend 

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

Forward bend releases the hamstrings. The hamstrings and calves can become tense when we get stuck in fight-or-flight mode. A forward bend also makes exhalation easily accessible.

From Mountain Pose (image A), fold forward to Standing Forward Bend by placing your hands on the floor or on a block, knees slightly bent. Hold for five breaths. Put your hands on your hips and use the strength of your legs to slowly raise your torso one vertebra at a time to stand.

5. Child's Pose

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

This pose releases the muscles of the back and is very relaxing. It encourages full exhalation, which helps alleviate anxiety.

Sit on your heels facing away from the wall and spread your knees wider than shoulder-distance apart. Pull the end of a pillow or cushion into your inner thighs and lie over it. Turn your head to one side and keep your eyes open. Do a simple body scan meditation by naming the parts of your body, either aloud or silently. Count the length of your exhalation. Stay for two minutes, then turn your head to the opposite side and stay for two more minutes.

We Like: Magic Carpet Yoga Mat in Baja Smoke

6. Final Relaxation (Savasana) With Chair 

PHOTOGRAPH BY ZEV STARR-TAMBOR

The final relaxation with the chair releases the calves. Drape your arms across your body like you are giving yourself a hug to create a feeling of safety. Observe the sensations that come over you and watch them pass like clouds.

Lie down on your back and rest your calves on the seat of a chair. Cross your arms in front of your torso as if hugging yourself. Scan the body from the head to the feet. If you feel restless, return to your body scan. Stay for five minutes.

Now that we've all found our calm, Colleen Saidman Yee answers some of our most burning questions about her book.

Prevention: What made you decide to write this book?
Saidman Yee: The truth is that there wasn't much logic or planning involved. I had never considered it. As a former model, druggie, and college dropout, I thought my job was to be mute. That changed when I discovered yoga in 1987. One of my longtime students, Esther Newberg, who is also a highly respected literary agent, suggested I try writing a book out of my pretty dramatic life story. I had no idea how to get started, but I kept getting up every day and writing, surprising myself. 

PVN: How often do you practice or teach yoga?
SY: There are about five days a month I don't teach, but every single day I drag my butt out of bed to practice first thing in the morning. Most days, my husband and I go to our Yoga Shanti studios in Sag Harbor or New York—or someplace else in the world—to teach. If we don't do our routine in the morning, chances are we won't get to it. 

Related: Five Yoga Poses That Relieve Pain Naturally

PVN: How does yoga ease your anxiety?
SY: With anxiety, you panic, feeling stuck and helpless, and hold your breath, creating pressure in the head. When anxiety begins to lessen, there is release: an exhalation, sigh, yawn, or a dropping of the shoulders and jaw. It's almost like putting down a bag you didn't know you were carrying. When we practice yoga, we learn that we can sit with our anxieties and patterns and observe them instead of trying to escape. We become conscious and mindful. Gradually we may be able to let go of a familiar anxiety when we feel it in order to change. 

PVN: What would you say to skeptics who don't think yoga can address a problem like anxiety?
SY: I'd say, "How's everything else working for you?" I'm joking, but not really. 

PVN: How has your yoga practice changed over the years?
SY: When I was younger, I just loved to sweat and didn't worry so much about injury. Now, with more information about my body, I tailor my practice to balance myself physically and emotionally. Since menopause, I need more muscular strength, so I may hold standing poses and use my body weight to build mass, or even put small weights in my hands or on my ankles. On sluggish days, I'll do ten sun salutations to get my blood flowing. My 50s have been about relaxing and accepting myself. Yoga isn't just about being able to put your feet on your head in scorpion pose (though that can be fun). Yoga is the practice that brings me home—to me. It's a dear and seasoned friend that I count on in every circumstance—from the burying of my mother, to my daughter's leaving for college, to the trauma and disappointment I feel when I have epileptic seizures.